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Does anyone here worry or care about the ripples their actions make, or are you more of a boulder falling in the pond and not caring what your actions create?

Namaste 7 July 17
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48 comments

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0

I call it, "Playing the movie 'til the end" when trying to evaluate how n action might turn out. Yes, I care very much how my ripples wash over another.

Davekp Level 8 July 17, 2019
6

I care about how my actions might negatively affect others so I just don't do things that affect others...if you are consistent in what you do, it is hard to do anything that is going to impact others to a great degree...

If you light a fire or poke a bear, then you need to stick around and clean up the aftermath...otherwise, IMO, you are an irresponsible coward...

@adaptable1958 I thought the poster was talking about real life, person to person actions...the internet is another story... 😉

@adaptable1958 A few shots with my gun usually scares away the real life bears on my property... 🙂...

I do think that people have a lot of control over how others treat them and react around them...in the corporate world of dog eat dog, I found myself sliding over to the side of intimidation and power as means to get what I wanted...I really didn't like it or myself, so I quit. It took a while to change and learn, but, for me, people responded better with a smile and a detailed and consistent management style that allowed them to control the outcome...do good, get a reward...

You would have fun riding our many roller coasters at Hershey Park...

5

What an odd question. Someone who doesn’t care about how their actions impact others would be truly fucked up.

But they are out there

@Namaste Yes they are!

yet 3 year olds are not effed up

@bbyrd009 By “someone,” I mean an adult. 🙂

5

I'm a teacher, so I think about it all the time. But I've discovered you cannot guess where anyone will end up tomorrow, next month, next year, or years down the line. I cannot count how many times I had a kid as a freshman who seemed a lost cause, who got things together at some point to become a completely different person at graduation. Of course, I've had similar students as freshmen who drop out at some point, and I never see them again.

All you can do is your very best to push kids forward whenever they are in your orbit, and hope for the best. You are not responsible for the entire world.

5

It depends on the people, the situation and if its worth the fall out or not. Usually, I don't have a filter when it comes to certain topics, politics and religion. I let the chips fall where they may. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I try not to blunder up as bad as I used to in my younger days.

5

My one daughter said that she looks over at me sometimes and thinks, 'there's a woman who just doesn't give a fuck' .... So i think i'm the boulder thing.

5

I generally try to consider the impact my actions will have on others.

MsAl Level 8 July 17, 2019
5

Yes, I care deeply. My job, and the decisions I make have long term impacts.

4

I try not to hurt others purposely. I’ve been hurt enough that I try to avoid inflicting it on others...if I do so anyway, I apologize and make amends where I can.
When I was younger, I wasn’t as careful with my actions, and I regret that.

4

Absolutely, for sure, undoubtedly, yes. I sometimes feel I care too much and it starts to stress me out. We are all hypocrites in one way or another but I at least try to recognize that in myself and self-correct. Can't always do so, though. However, I care less for others than I do the natural system in which we all have to live.

3

As this is in the "Love and Relationships" section, I'd have to say more like a boulder falling in the pond, when necessary, when action is needed.

But in the course of just regular social relationships, I think I'm more about making gentle ripples, not enough to rock anyone's boat (regarding my views on religion or other social controversies) but to jostle their minds awake to think about another point of view.

So, I'm mostly a gentle rippler in civil mixed company... BUT when pushed to a point where I need to make a big spash and huge wakes, I sure can and will. And it's not because I don't care about the consequences, it's because I DO care, and that's why I do it.

Patriarchal theocracies need an Avalanche of boulders to bury it all for good and anyone wanting to love the alleged gawd pushers will not be welcome in my yard with their hell threats heaven bribes prEyer forced pregnancies and tax exemptions causing us all to pay more and watch rapist priests get free rides ....when the last child is NOT sexually mutilated and the last Atheist leaves the un-necessary closet MAYBE THEN I'll skip flat rocks on the church memorial pond

3

I am constantly checking myself! I have no desire to cause hurt anywhere down the line!

3

I lead with kindness, sincerity, compassion and purpose...

But, if I find out someone is a racist, or bigot or has no regard for others...

I will..

TAKE

THEM

DOWN.

Athena Level 8 July 17, 2019

Okay so basically, in the case of language, if you can observe that someone's interaction with another person has been insensitive, and possibly with regards to racism, or bigotry, then regardless of what is being expressed, then you will take them down.

That is probably the single most base and abhorrent personality trait in a person. All you're doing is talking about the under-translation of expression, and ignorance.

FYI This is coming from a person who doesn't actually have a racial identity other than what his legal documents say. Your politics are garbage.

-D.Z.

@DZhukovin

That was a little weird.

Um.. are you hungry by any chance?

@Athena

No but I'm able to circumvent what was bothering me now that I'm more calm and aware of what to do.

I understand my comment might have been weird, but what you were talking about was very unkind, so someone came along and said something about it, and that was me. -D.Z.

@DZhukovin

What was unkind about it?

@OwlInASack

That's simply true. I see that in full. Refusal to tolerate is in there, but I would still argue that it's getting overly personal. Also, of all the things out there, why does a person occupy his or her time with the assumptions of others for so many cases? We're not in a game of "react to that thing", we're in a game of "do the right thing", and that's really a good way to field the idea that a person shouldn't make his neighbors out of snapshots. It's something that points more towards appeasement, rather than one's real purpose, which, again, has to be self-fashioned, or given by some ultimate point of reference. In the U.S., we're being told to care about these marginal personal matters, but that necessitates one to veer off from any real life purpose. So if I say it's foolish to even care about this shit, I'm quite accurate, okay? -D.Z.

@DZhukovin

"That's simply true. I see that in full."

That's very strange.

How do you know where I draw my lines?

How about the "N" word? Would that be okay with you?

@OwlInASack

No, I don't think that. I don't think anyone would draw that conclusion unless they ignored obvious implications of ignoring racism. I was simply offering a new input on a topic that keeps being talked about ad-nauseum. -D.Z.

@Athena

No, because the "N" word is racist? You're trying to put me in a school of thought that I don't actually belong to. -D.Z.

@DZhukovin

I find this confounding and none of your replies makes it less so.

I'm not putting you in a categorical school of thought. I asked a question, for clarity, none of which I've received regarding why what I said was unkind and "the most abhorrent personality trait in a person."

I can't be even slightly offended, because it doesn't make sense to me!

I will add that I don't get the sense you're a bad person, but I do think you've gone somewhere, in your head, that is a gross misinterpretation and/or misperception.

@Athena

That's bullshit lol. I can't be associated with you, Athena. Bye.

@DZhukovin

Aw. That's okay. I prefer real men.

3

Absolutely I care. No one lives in a bubble! Posts, everyday conversations, pretty much everything we do affects everyone around us.

2

Yes. And not only that, but I'm becoming more aware of how my "lack of presence" has affected some of my friends and family.

2

in essense you're asking us whether we are good or bad people. do you think most bad people will, if they bother to answer at all, say "yeah, i'm bad"? if you think most people are bad (a view i do not share) then this question is useless. if you think (as i do) that most people are good, then your question should not be whether people worry or care (as if worrying is a useful activity!) it is whether people KNOW, or are capable of determining, the potential consequences ot their actions. in some cases, those consequences are essentially unknowable. if an action seems harmless and is performed in innocence and has unintendedly negative consequences for someone, is the actor uncaring? really?

g

the quandary is: if most ppl are good why is the world in such a Fcked up state.
the only answer i can see is that the majority (the good ppl) are not very smart & continuously allow the bad ppl ( the minority) to run the world.

@callmedubious correct. most people are not very smart. that is not the same as being bad.

g

Well said! I’m a bit of both. Don’t mean to be weighted one way or the other. It’s just how things work out. Don’t really want to be debating good/evil with myself. Life isn’t worth that amount of angst!

2

Other than trying not to be the cause of others pain...I mostly don't concern myself.

I try not to be a pain in the arse but it doesn’t work too well!

2

All boulders and sledge hamers do is permanently break things. Ripples and pebbles are more effective at promoting change!

2

I take other people’s feelings into account far more than I should. But if it’s not something critical and will not adversely affect my life, I see no reason to be hurt others just to make myself feel better. Except on Facebook: if you follow my Facebook page and don’t like the positions I support, feel free to unfollow or unfriendly me. It is, along with this site my only real outlet to freely express myself.

2

Some of my actions and inactions from the past are the reason I still occasionally wake up screaming... maybe I could and should have done more, on occasion I should have walked away -
worry and care about my actions? - yes, every day

2

I do think about it, but sometimes the ripple effects are unavoidable.

1

No ripples here I do try to plant seeds though

1

You have to think like a chess player in this life. Options, actions, possible reactions. Two, three moves ahead. Simply put. Look , before you leap. What will be the possible consequences of this action of mine? How will others react to what I say, or do. It's common sense really. (But they don't teach that anymore). Americans are more poker players, in that they take chances. Russians are chess players, and contemplate their every move.

1

I do. Relationships take brains. Your long-run approach to a relationship is the SAME approach that makes the short-run approach. So I do pay a lot of attention when it emerges, no pun intended. -D.Z.

1

I try quite hard to be a good employee, coworker, teacher and friend. We all fall short but i try. I personally try to be a little bit more moral than my religious counter parts as they think they have the higher ground all the time.

1

I am careful and non violent except when confronted by racism or someone bullying a woman or weaker person then I(wearing army veteran hat) tell them to grow up or shut up. I am a 6ft tall 230 lb army combat vet and to leave now while body parts are still intact

bobwjr Level 10 July 17, 2019
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