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So there is a condolence card in the break room for one of my coworkers who’s dad just died. It has a bible verse on the front and may God give you peace stuff inside. I don’t really want to put my name on it. Would you?

LisaL81 7 Aug 22
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119 comments

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2

Displaying concern is not a statement of support for stupidity.

Where?

@DZhukovin I was referring to the OP. You?

@Jacar

What?

@DZhukovin Signing the card is being human.

@Jacar

How?

@DZhukovin It is all about concern for the bereaved. Not the time nor place to call them out as still.

@Jacar

Where?

@DZhukovin When?

@Jacar

I don't know. Where does when happen?

@Jacar

Are you there?

@DZhukovin Ha Ha Ha.

@Jacar

What?

6

If you have to ask this question it is pitiful .

Being self centered and thinking of yourself instead of the other individual

0

I'm much like that these days with regards to submitting to being included with things related to god and religion. A couple of years back I decided to not partake anymore and one thanksgiving I was asked to join hands at dinner for prayer and didn't do so. My cousin Eric tried to grab my hand to force me into doing so, but I didn't. He kind of got irritated and tried to insist, and yet I didn't allow it. That thanksgiving gets together was an outlier after the Grandparents decided that staying in Florida was a new way, and wouldn't be going back and forth from Michigan to Florida anymore. I haven't been offered to come back to it since lol. I don't really care though if I do.

Maybe just get your own thank you card and hand over?

I get your meaning, "own thank you card" ??

@HankSherman Oops, that was a rushed nonedited response due to having to leave for work.

I meant "Give your own condolences card". I'm not sure what I was trying to convey with the last bit at the end. Lol.

@Vintenar I knew that........I very often lose my way in a conversation.....just good to know I'm not alone out there.

0

Religion should never be part of the workplace under any circumstances, particularly if people are forced to participate in something of a religion they don't agree with. It is unethical, but many people are so immersed in it that they often don't know any better and refuse to learn respect for diversity. You can sign it with a couple comforting secular words perhaps. It is important to keep your job and avoid conflict. Not an easy situation to be in.

well we certainly can't accuse you of trying to force your opinion on us now can we?

@JeffMesser no opinions there, only established standards of decency and a suggestion offered. What's your problem?

@ChicagoMike trying to coax you into taking a stand. make you say something controversial.

6

I would. It's not about your beliefs, it's about the gesture of solidarity.

The card may have been chosen according to the beliefs of the purchaser. The bereaved co-worker may not be Christian.

@Carin, I can see where you come from. Still I value more the gesture of good will than anything else. If we disagree I don't take it as a big deal.

2

I hate cards, esp sympathy cards. why not just speak to the person.

This may be the best suggestion on the whole thread. Personal communication vs impersonal card signing

@ChicagoMike I feel like cards are more to check off the I care box. It is harder but more rea l to call, of meet with person and have a conversation. I have noticed often people are uncomfortable with others loss. Everyone signs a card and when they return to.work , it is like it never happened for most. Not that the card isnt a nice gesture, but not sure it adds value.

3

Its not about you, its about their grieving, show the sentiment

Found the social conformist

Yes. It is about the trials of fellow humans.

0

I keep a few condolence cards at work. I would not sign the god one, but I would give the person a card.

Ya, that's ok, too!

8

Yes...you won’t turn into a pumpkin or anything...just put your name to it like everyone else, it’s not about you , it’s about showing that you are with your coworkers in an expression of condolence.

AGREE!

6

Write your own little note next to your name. Show vompassion for your colleague's loss is more important.

meant compassion

9

Of course I would sign it .My first thought in this matter would be to feel empathy for the individual not about my self .

The co-worker may not be religious.

5

I'd either sign it or get a card of my own to give the cowerker.

I agree with either signing the card, or get your own card for them.

5

Yes I would. You can just sign your name or say you're in my thoughts, etc. It's about them right now.

Exactly. Miss out "and prayers" and they might just be smart enough to figure it out.

1

Yes and I would write some clearfly non religious text like: Lets his body become one with mother earth

why? there's no point to prove here. "I'm around if you need help" or something likewise helpful. again, it's not about him it is about the grieving person.

0

Lucid dreaming, do you believe in that stuff?
Yeh, I dream a lot but I'm not aware that. I'm dreaming though I do make decisions in those dreams and reflect on consequences in the dream though I don't know if that's lucid dreaming.
Unlike when I was young and dreamt being chased by a monstrous gorilla, my dreams are mostly quite pleasant and I enjoy them. Some are set in the home where my now decased parents lived, others on some mythical places with wonderful oceans with warm water and islands where we hunt for fish with spears and swim.
Unfortunetly I don't have any sexy dreams, well I sort of do but wake up just as the good part is about to start (maybe the Catholic backround).
Do you dream when in REM sleep and do you briefly remember them when you wake up?

One of us lost our way

0

Write on it that you are sorry for their loss OR get your own card that says a similar thing and give it to them.

I am hank, and I agree with this message

1

It's totally up to you, if you don't feel like signing a dumb card don't. Give him your condolences next time you see him. I've lost people and received cards with heavy religious stuff on them, it really irked me a bit at the time cause people knew my stance on it and those who passed, but what can ya do.

Regardless if you're going to sign the card and leave a small message make sure it's something respectful of their beliefs. I'm sure it's not the best time to leave an atheist quip.

3

Don't worry, you'll mellow with time, and experience being so touchy about things. In the meantime just do whatever feels right, and try to not place so much importance on how you think some might see you.

that was good advice.

0

It would depend on if I knew the person or not. I see these kinds of cards all the time and to me it's no big deal. It doesn't affect my lack of belief one way or the other. Let’s face it such cards for the living and if it makes my friend feel better then fine.

1

Yes!

0

I don't sign anything that goes against my belief system.
I've written my own card or spoke personally to them.
Follow your conscience

0

since you did not buy it you can say something like rest in peace,

1

I'd buy one of my own and sign it.

0

I'd just write my name inside.

2

I would - why not? The dead can't read the damn thing anyway but it may provide comfort to the family and since it's not about me - I'm fine with that.

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