Been a while since I made a post here. I was dating this girl recently very religious. But wow she was amazing. She tried her hardest to convert me. Very hard to do when someone lives on facts but man she was amazing every other way.
1
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Why would anyone waste their time with someone who wants to change them? I never want sex that bad!
AzVixen52
Level 7
Sep 14, 2019
0
When you get older you will realize that sex isn't the sole & primary motivating factor for building a meaningful relationship.
@gNappyHead I'm older...hell, I'm almost dead, yet I won't compromise my beliefs, nor WILLINGLY tolerate someone who tried to change me. I'd rather be alone.
Before the myths started in it was about the bond we made our lives are very similar. I fell for her then God came lol
It's very sad. At least she was amazing every other way. Too bad she couldn't accept you for yourself.
BitFlipper
Level 8
Sep 13, 2019
0
For real oh well maybe next time
IMHO ...the "make or break" religious issue in relationships (whether platonic or romantic) is damnation!
Relationships are hard, period. All of them: friends, family, dating, marriage. Add two very different views about religion, and it becomes much more complex, especially if either or both hold very strong views.
But I think similar VALUES outweigh "religion." If the two people share views about basic right/wrong, money, sex, parenting, etc., then religious differences can usually be negotiated.
However, I don't see any way to compromise if one person thinks the other is damned to hell. This is mainly an issue in Islam and certain sects of Christianity (not all, but many of them).
A lot of Christians have a "secret door" in mind, where "good people" of any religion (or no religion) can be "saved" (or, at least, not damned). These are the folks who say, "God looks into your heart."
But many Christians — especially Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christians like Assembly of God, Baptists and Pentecostals — are VERY clear: You can be the nicest, best person in the world, but you STILL go to hell if you die without accepting Jesus.
I can't fathom how a relationship like this can work, because even if there is an agreement to not discuss the topic, one of them is constantly, secretly worried the other will die "unsaved."
And if they REALLY believe that you are going to hell, just for not believing, then it had better bother them a lot. IF THEY ARE OKAY WITH IT (they still think God is Good, All The Time!) ... then they're a sociopath who doesn't really love you.
babyhumanist
Level 4
Sep 13, 2019
1
How about... "Don't try to convert me into believing and I won't tell you what an idiot you are!"
j/k
My ex wife grew up Catholic and that part was never a problem between us. Her father was a staunch Catholic and even he liked me well enough to not say much about it. We even had some very philosophical talks about it, usually while enjoying bourbon.
RiverRick
Level 7
Sep 12, 2019
1
Yeah. Contrary to what a lot of people think, Catholics are much better about this issue than many Protestants are.
With Vatican II, in the 1960s, the Catholics actually took an agnostic position about people of other & no religions being "saved"... basically, they said (in so many words), "God can save whoever he wants. We are still the True Church, but God is bigger than just us."
That took off the pressure to convert others.
In contrast, Fundamentalist and Evangelical Christians are all about getting people "saved." That is their whole point.
If she tries really hard to convert (change) you then what’s next. The way you dress or what you eat? She sounds controlling. She’s bad news hidden behind a pretty face. She’s not a “live and let live” person.
ADKSparky
Level 8
Sep 11, 2019
4
Funny thing is i would take her back if things were different guess I am just a sucker for a woman
@DavidGreen1 She will make your life miserable.
did you ultimately breakup because you were tired of it? Or did she breakup with you when she realized she wouldn't be able to convert you?
demifeministgal
Level 8
Sep 11, 2019
1
No she accused me of lieing to here. I do not ever lie even white and the thing she accused me of lieing about was a pretty serious thing
@DavidGreen1 I suppose it could not be communicated about and worked through? It happens... best of luck in your next relationship 
@DavidGreen1 That's the problem though. Not content to lie to themselves, they lie for Jesus and then compete for lying. Delusion is delusional; it's insanity. Back away and dedicate yourself to sanity.
humanist, atheist, agnostic ... bah ... we're all seekers of truth. I believe science and physics are the keys and that there are actual, physical rules of the universe establishing a consciousness. Not gods or any mystical claptrap. Just rules we haven't uncovered yet.
JeffMesser
Level 8
Sep 11, 2019
2
Please understand that it is her "job" to convert you. Even in Paul's writings it is claimed that a believer might bring a non-believer to Christ. Most sensible believers are OK, but there comes a time with Evangelicals that they will even cry because an invisible unknown and un-located part of you might burn forever in an unknown place after you die. It only makes sense to a Christian or an ex-Christian.
Some unions do work. I knew of a Jewish man who married a Baptist woman and they had 3 kids. This was managed by avoiding religious discussion.
DenoPenno
Level 9
Sep 11, 2019
2
Yep. It really depends on the religion and the denomination (I commented above).
Jews don't believe non-Jews go to hell (they don't even have a hell). Most religions don't. Some Christians tell themselves that God "judges people by what is in their hearts, not what's in their heads."
But Evangelicals and Fundamentalists are VERY CLEAR about the need to convert (save) others. Theologically, they have no way around it ... if you die unsaved, you go to hell, period. Even if you are a decent person.
If you think about it, someone who believes this OUGHT to be obsessed with converting others. (Imagine if you KNEW that the car your loved one was climbing into had a bomb in it that would explode. You couldn't just shrug and say, "We won't discuss it."
Christians who really BELIEVE this, and ARE OKAY with it, creep me out. It's sociopathic.
It's hard enough to make a relationship work, when both people are logical, reasonable and apply critical thinking in all areas of their lives.
Add religion, which is a belief in nonsense and you have one of two things...
An acceptance that nonsense is okay, or a very shallow relationship where you are connecting on a superficial level, not on a similar value system.
Your comment below about how you're not an atheist, as "atheists use excuses" is lame and doesn't even make sense.
Athena
Level 8
Sep 11, 2019
4
You are right about that and I never would have made that comment if he had not implies I USED religion as an excuse to not see her
I did not make this post to be abused only to discuss
That doesn't make sense either.
And, being called out for inaccurate remarks doesn't qualify as abuse. There is, in fact, a discussion going on here. If people disagreeing with you is abuse, then you're in the wrong place.
Varn:
Good catch ~
Athena, thank you. I shouldn't have written what I wrote. I do well I social settings, but I prefer solitude. I use science and my atheism to form a barrior. I shouldn't do it. Thank you for your words. Should you ever want me to verbally assult someone, let me know.
David Green. I apologise for my response. You are clearly hurt by the interaction you have had with this potential significant other. I should have been more aware of what I was writing. What I wrote was nothing more than an afterthought. It was intended to convey this idea. If you announce what you are upfront, before things happen, you won't likely find yourself in this position.
Many here have had similar experiences. It is tough when you find that nearly perfect one. It doesn't work. It is like a relationship with a drug addict. You see the good, you hope they will change, but in the end you know where your wallet went.
I wish you the best of luck. I believe that good luck and bad luck are minorities within the range of possibilities. The odds are against it, but I hope you don't give up on love.
I hope you see, there is one silver lining in all of this. This being, she fought for you.
IMO, It is a fear of the reality of death of loved ones and self which makes many cling to theist logic.
She found her reasons to leave you. They weren't rational. They couldn't be. Your not a bad guy. She is afraid. She didn't want to lose you in life or death. She couldn't comprise the others she loves either. Your beliefs not only challenge hers, they make her grapple the deaths of the ones she loves in a way she likely not capable of.
Best of luck.
A really sweet hot eh? I was challenged by that in the day. But even when I liked them , I never dated religous people.
Bigwavedave
Level 8
Sep 11, 2019
0
I am a sucker for a pretty woman and actually the reason I saw her in the first place was because every other thing about her and me are very similar
@DavidGreen1 yes I get it.
The term god-fearing mentioned in other posts is an absurdity. Should not these people love their god? Fearing bespeaks of a relationship of punishment. Is their fantasy being putting them in a strappado? I guess their Jesus disappears before the Old Testament deity. I still prefer the Norse gods. The whole thing is absurd, vile, and loathsome. I could never be in a relationship with religious people.
skeptic70
Level 7
Sep 11, 2019
1
Sex is an entry drug for religious zelots.
YaAtEeh
Level 4
Sep 11, 2019
1
And she ha me for a while lol
I wish I tried I am one of those people that believe everyone should be able to decide what is right for them but in the end I was not the God fearing man she was looking for. If you ask me I am glad I was not God fearing people believe in violence and oh yeah let's not talk about their idol sitting on his thrown in DC
DavidGreen1
Level 6
Sep 11, 2019
0
The minute someone tries to convert me, I'm out.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Sep 11, 2019
1
You would think I was smarter. Guess I was thinking somewhere else
No possible compromise?
lerlo
Level 8
Sep 11, 2019
0
I tried but in the end it came down to me not being the God fearing man she wanted. But in the end I was the only one making compromises.
@DavidGreen1 Yep it has to go both ways--she didnt mention it upfront or she didnt know your beliefs upfront?
@lerlo she did mention it after a while but I thought we could work around she was the first woman I actually wanted to tell my secrets to because hers were the same ( recovering addict/ alcoholic)
@DavidGreen1 sorry it didn't work out
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