I'm at my mother's death bed, and I'm politely having to keep my mouth shut. My parents' rabbi comes in and sings prayers and leaves a printout of them. My new age wife wants to do some sort of "ritual" that will make it easier for the spirit to leave the body. Etc etc. Just had to vent to some people who would understand. Everybody thinks their pet nonsense is important.
Sorry to hear. We are here for you. Just let them do whatever puts them at ease, and respect their right to believe in whatever they chose, and do not force your views on them, and hopefully they are not forcing their views onto you. You are there fto make your mother as comfortable as possible. Just be there for her.
Ouch.. Very sorry to hear that. I'm with the 'don't make waves' crowd at a time like that. When my mom was going, I had to sit there and listen to everyone go through their religious spiel. When it was all over, nothing changed, and nobody was hurt.
What is important here at your mother's death bed is close friends and relatives that believe as your mother does regardless of what her beliefs are. This is not the time or place for any ritual by your new age wife. She can figure it out with spirits leaving later on. If she wants to be a part of this she should go along with the majority right now.
We did everything for my dead mother according to her foolish catholic beliefs... I only did it because my sister wanted to do things according to her wishes and my sister was paranoid our mother's dead spirit would haunt her or follow her around angrily if we did things any other way... so I just went along with it because I love and care for her (sister), despite my feelings to the mother.
Can your mother be asked about her wishes? Could she tell you what she wants? That would allow you to at least focus on what will make HER comfortable vs. what makes others comfortable.
Honor your mom and her wishes....tell the rest to leave you two alone in peace