Why are is it threatening to "believers" to say one is an atheist,

No, just the opposite, I evangelize so my friends know there are decent atheists around them.

my friends except me for who i am, if they don't like my beliefs or politics or my sexual views, then they can leave, i don't need people to judge me, just accept me for my loving ways...lol

I just act like I am in the conversation! They all try and be holier than thou!

Get out of the small town.

It is that way in my workplace as well and here is how I handle the pretense. To start with I do not talk religion. When it does come up and gets to that level I tell everyone that I used to be religious and I studied to be a Pentecostal preacher, however, I am no longer religious. That usually ends it all. When it fails and some idiot asks me why I no longer believe I will correct them by saying "you are putting words in my mouth, as I said I am no longer religious." Since none of these people are twice or more a week church people who cannot wait for the church house doors to open, this usually does the trick.

The bottom line is that they are people just like you, and this applies to most people. I also live and work in small town areas. I currently have no social life but you should not allow others to limit yours.

I don't but I don't live in a small town. The risk of that for you is probably greater. Maybe you can take a more neutral posture if that risk is great. Meaning, you can say you don't see enough evidence for or against. Cuz you sure as hell don't want to live a lie either.

Not me, and i will talk about it if asked, provoked or otherwise encouraged.

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