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Are you a jealous person ?

Wildgreens 8 Mar 28
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62 comments (26 - 50)

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2

Nope. Content with what I have, realized I don't need no mo crap.

3

On a scale from the motionlessness of particles at 0°K to Jealous, I am negative Kelvin.

2
2

Yep. Quite often.

2
2

I have been in the past, and will probably be in the future, to an extent. But I am working on it oh so hard ?

3

No. They had sex before meeting me and they will enjoy sex again after we part ways. I encourage my lady friends to go out with other men or women for entertainment or sex or bring them here, they do.
I don't own them, I appreciate our time together. I'm glad they are happy.

3

Depends on what you mean. Yes, I get jealous when it comes to genuine human connection, but I don't believe in acting on that jealousy. If someone is into someone else more than me, then they should go be with that person, not settle for me because of this idea of "commitment" or "obligation." And I don't get jealous about sex; envious, but not jealous.

Concur!!

The reason why I was asking, it's because my friend Shelby makes it very clear to her husband, that he better not look at anyone else but her.
She's extremely jealous for no reason. She has a wonderful husband. They have been married for two years.

@Wildgreens yeah, that’s a red flag. Then again, that’s the norm now days.

2

I used to be a jealous person, but realized that it doesn't do any good. I'm no longer a jealous person.

2

I have been jealous, so might be again. I'm not jealous of my wife; she gives me no reason. If she did, I could live with it because I want her to be happy, but might be jealous. It would change our relationship from monogamous to poly, which is not likely.

5

From my experience, i only feel "jealousy" when i don't get what i need from a relationship. Since no one is a mind reader, if I'm feeling jealous then I need to speak up & communicate my needs. If this person either can't meet that need, ignores my need, or can't understand my need & the whys, its my responsibility to decide whether or not this need is make or break. Do i need to 1) communicate more effectively, 2) reconcile my need won't or can't be met 3) determine if this is a relationship i can stay in or trade in for something different.

If the person i'm with decides the grass is greener elsewhere & I'm not worth negotiating with regarding an open relationship, I just remember this: he may not value me but someone else very well may. Its better to be alone & happy than together & miserable.

0

Sadly, no.
I'm so male in traits, I'm more like a cis hetero guy in that respect, who are often known to share lovers, so lack the female outrage needed to kick cheaters to the curb. This is a bad trait for a female, since it leaves her at risk from badly behaving spouses, who then feel free to act out.

Unless she meets her male counterpart.

@Anonbene I did..my ex came out as nonbinary female about six years after our divorce in 2010. He/she was perfect for me, but sadly, if I wasn't jealous, being partially transmale, she/he sure was! Insane jealousy-of my job, anything that took my attention from my ex-is why I left the marriage and moved to Thailand.

2

I can be, and this will probably piss off a few people, but I think that anyone who says they aren't at all jealous is full of shit.
You might as well tell me you never lie, or masturbate.

Jealousy is naturally occuring, yes but it's also something that pops up in sibling relationships. Do we encourage that in our kids,believing it means they really love us? No. We soothe their fears and help them work past their jealousy. It's a biological leftover that serves no worthwhile purpose any longer. One sibling isn't likely to die because their counterpart/s take some attention away from them.

Similarly a relationship needn't die simply because someone new has entered the picture. Why throw out something and someone you've spent so much time building a relationship with?I admire the way some poly people treat jealousy, like a malady to be gotten over rather than an integral component of a relationship.

Do you limit your circle of friends for fear that someone will be liked better than you are? That would be juvenile

In the context of modern society, I see no benefit in fostering jealousy in interpersonal relationships. If you've got any instance in which jealousy has made someone happier, healthier or more secure, please share.

@Blindbird The post didn't ask for a specific context, only if we were a jealous person.
As you stated, jealousy is naturally occurring. It may be minimalized but not totally eliminated, just like any other emotion.
I suppose it may be possible for a sociopath or psychopath to pull off.

@Paul628. As I stated, I think its entirely possible(and healthier) for a healthy person to work through. Again if you can show me some instance or way in which jealousy is beneficial,I'd be happy to hear it. The post may not have asked for context however context is important in stating my opinion on this AND nothing exists independently of context. Trying to separate a concept or feeling from its context is silly and unrealistic.

@Blindbird Why do you insist on me giving you an instance of jealousy being beneficial when I implied nothing of the sort?

I only stated that it's an emotion that everyone has, whether good or bad it's there.
If only for a fleeting moment we all have pangs of jealousy.

@Paul628 and my point is that its maladaptive and can be worked through so as not to cause trouble. Its the same as any other emotion or behaviour. If it benefits you, by all means keep up with it. If on the other hand it causes you pain, problems in your relationships or unnecessary stress, why hold on to it?

@Blindbird Again, I didn't state that is was good or bad either way.

Even if it is an extremely short pang of jealousy what you choose to do with it is up to you.

Whatever way you want to deal with it is irrelevant, my point is that it is there and you can't completely eliminate it.

2

I’ve got better with time. And now I think if I can’t trust the one I’m with, maybe I shouldn’t be with.

4

Who are all these people commenting on your post? How well do you know them? I mean, have they commented on your other posts? And have you commented on theirs? I suppose you're planning on replying to their comments, aren't you?

Lol, good example 🙂

2

I try not to be, but it's very difficult when my depression tells me everyone else is more interesting/attractive/intelligent/etc than me.

2

Jealous of.... ?

2

To a healthy extent. But I often make jealousy jokes. "Excuse me who is 'adele' and why did you like the cunts work?

2

I wouldn’t stay in one if I felt that. I think jealousy is a byproduct of a lack of trust. Honesty and trust are an absolute must in a relationship. I do know there are a lot of people who are just naturally jealous people, I don’t view that as okay in my world. However I am single, so what the hell do I know.

2

But you claim to have given birth to the green-eyed monster?

@EricTrommater what now? No. I have two wild, blue eyed viking monkeys.

@Blindbird well I'm blue green gray color blind...

@EricTrommater Thats interesting. Isn't that the rarest type?

@Blindbird it's only an issue at stop lights.....

@EricTrommater how do you cope with that? Genuinely curious.

5

Nope.
To me jealously implies some right of posession over the other.
I don't own people.
That's not to say that it is wrong in others, just that that is how my being jealous would appear to me. Of course this is informed by my lack of jealousy in the first place.

I agree with you Rob.

2

Not any more...

3
1

In my youth horribly. I didn't grow up in the best of environments and very self-conscious. I was always intimidated by other males being to close to a female I liked.

Today if a man goes after my girl I just let them know that one comes with responsibilities and bills and leave it at that.

2

I admit to being quite insecure in relationships, I have been excessively jealous in the past. Less so now, that is not necessarily a good thing. In my case it is more along the lines of, oh well if she cheats, then it is yet another failed attempt.

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