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I have been a member on this site now for nearly two years and I have come to an interesting conclusion that there is definitely a small number of members who are aggressive in their defence of what they see as their point of view, to the point of being downright insulting to those of us who disagree. I say they are a minority, and therein lies their problem I think. This group have usually two things in common, they are men and more importantly I believe, they identify as agnostic.

This site may be titled Agnostic.com, but the majority of members clearly identify as atheist, and therefore as a minority they seem to feel the need to try to assert their views more aggressively. I have witnessed this several times, and just last night locked horns with one such person who in order to validate his agnosticism, posits the belief that the onus is on the atheist to prove non existence of god, an impossibility of course and oxymoronic. When I pointed out this to him he then attacked me personally by saying I didn’t understand the Scientific Method and was showing “visceral anger” in other words implying that my disbelief was only based on emotion and not on intellect.

This is not the first time I have had a run-in with a militant agnostic on this site, and frankly I’m baffled, as I identify as both agnostic and atheist and my mind is far from being closed to the possibility of there being a god who created us...but not without any evidence. I take the default position of no evidence no belief, I was born into a family without religion, and raised to examine and ask questions before forming opinions. I have never felt any need for a god in my life, and I simply have never seen any evidence that there is one. Why can’t I get that over to aggressive agnostics? It’s actually easier to counter the beliefs of believers!

Marionville 10 Feb 18
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16 comments

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2

Militancy of any kind has no place in reasoned discourse! Unfortunately, the aggression you perceive is real and appears to be an unfortunate byproduct of this medium--one which has managed to gather, on the whole, a disproportionate throng of hostile, indignant and self absorbed narcissists. Those of us who come here for stimulation, conversation and perhaps an infrequent new concept, are in no way impressed by hardliners, chauvinists and zealots.

Exactly ....you’ve expressed it well.

2

I think in general there are always going to be people who are "right-fighters" ("I'm right, you're wrong" ) regardless of the topic, and agnostics/atheists -- even those who may have gotten far away from religious family members who were the right-fighters -- are not exempt from this... Live-and-let-live is a very hard thing to learn, I've come to understand from my own experience: my mother, who was agnostic, was a right-fighter in her own way when it came to certain things, and my defense was to become a right-fighter back and try to top her, so then we would just start baiting each other and it would became a shouting match, with both of us coming away feeling bitter, angry, and exhausted... A very difficult thing for me to learn was how to speak my peace as clearly and as calmly as I could, and then knowing when to walk away... Sometimes I will still occasionally get caught up in stuff, on this site and in real life, and I feel awful when that happens.

Knowing when to walk away I think is the key! I am firm in my beliefs and will present them in a forum, whether here or on Facebook. If challenged, I will present my thoughts and if required how I came to them. And I will read replies that present their position in a logical manner. Once the replies go off the rails, and the personal attacks and name calling start, I move on. Arguing with a brick wall is totally non productive and I don't really care if anyone shares my opinions anyway. I am quite content in my own skin.

2

There are a subset of agnostics who consider atheists their intellectual inferiors and don't mind saying so. But there are a minority of people in every subgroup like that. I mostly ignore it.

Yes...I usually do too, except sometimes they hijack a thread you’re already on.

3

FANATICISM! Be it religious, non religious, political, sports, Chevy v. Ford, Merlot v. Pinot Noir. They all have one thing in common: a total lack of interest in having their mind changed. And, if you take on the challenge, once they run out of valid facts and sensible argument, they will attack you personally. From insulting your profile picture, your cultural heritage, your bone structure to just plain name calling. One need only look at Donal Trump and his followers to see this taken to it’s Zenith.
Both on here and Facebook I run into Fanatics on a variety of topics. On the original confrontation I will usually offer whatever facs I can gather to show they are mistaken. If for some reason the facts don’t bare out my position, I would apologies and move on. If they continue to spew their malarkey, or try to get into name calling, the conversation is over. If there are other participants in the dialog and they wish to waste their time trading insults, more power to them. But I move on and find other things of interest.
I am firm in my belief that prayer is as effective as a coin flip, that natural process is far more interesting than invisible man created deities, and random is more believable than miracles.
Thanks for your post, but don’t let them under your skin.

1

Sorry ... while I sympathize with your plight I have to agree with the view of exculpatory lover. Step back, remove your emotionality, and view it from an objective viewpoint. As well read as you are and believe you are you still are neglecting to address the various issues with epistemology. This is NOT an attack on you. Many suffer the same blindspot. You have got to open up and put away your bias.

I have no problem with having differing views regarding epistemology or any matter, either with you or anyone else. I totally disagree though, with the manner in which the person in question disrespected my views, and please don’t start patronising me by telling me the same thing. I have no bias, no axe to grind, and use reason and logic, not emotion, to formulate my views.

@Marionville the simple fact you grouped it to men shows you have a bias dear. that wasn't meant as a slam. we all have our biases. it's just part of being human. just like me calling you "dear" above. it's just how I was raised. I mean nothing by it and call the guys "dude". we have to learn to drop our defenses and open up.

@JeffMesser oh no! She grouped it to men! Am I sensing a bit of emotionality here? You seem defensive deary 😊😂😂

@Cutiebeauty ohhhh goody ... you can band together in feminine bliss now!! if someone is pointing that out that MUST mean they are bad, right?

@JeffMesser I didn't say you were bad, just emotional 😊😂😂 how's it feel?

@Cutiebeauty why can't you just discuss instead of everything being combative? this place is so full of hate and hostility it's like a cesspool and so many of you never seem to get past it.

@JeffMesser I'm just kidding around.. Take it easy 😊😜😋

@Cutiebeauty when ONE person is "just kidding" it's fine. when it's done by hundreds for years then it's rather hard to "take it easy".

@JeffMesser I said it exactly as it is...I’ve never had exchange with an aggressive woman,, and I deal in facts, so that’s why I mentioned the two things that they had in common were that they were male and agnostic. I’m not going to rise to your bait of calling me dear, that was just too obvious a ploy, but I do suspect that I hit a nerve of truth, lest you wouldn’t feel the need to be so defensive,

@JeffMesser how about if you just block EVERYBODY and your "problem" will be instantly solved. Who appointed your our mother/arbiter/rater?

2

Move on, some people are not worth wasting good emotion on. They are usually the same people who want to argue forever about the definition of words, as though word were fixed things with meanings that contain truths in themselves, instead of flexible things with usages which morph all the time, and are only misleading lables used in vague and poor attempts to express aproximations to truth.

Some of the self identified agnostics are in any case, borderline religious appologists, attempting to hide their true colours.

Totally agree...thanks for the advice.

1

This has puzzled me too. I came across this short video which, for me, clears it up. I posted it here not long ago. I do think that agnostics like to feel they are being "fair" to not jump to conclusions, for as Neil de Grasse Tyson said, "There still might be a chance." GROG

GROG Level 6 Feb 18, 2020

Thank you for this post, I hadn’t seen it before. He and I think almost identically on this, although it’s interesting to hear the route he took to arrive at the same mindset. He arrived at it from completely the opposite direction from me, because I never ever had a religion or belief in god. I get really tired of agnostics telling me I can’t be both an agnostic and an atheist, that is a real bugbear. I also agree about not trying to proselytise or convert anyone to atheism. I mind my own business when it comes to religion and belief and don’t tell others they are misguided or wrong, or just plain stupid. All I ask in return is the same courtesy.

@Marionville Marje, thanks for your response. How are things in Northern Ireland? GROG

@GROG They are fine at the moment...but the Brexit issue has raised tensions in some of the more partisan areas.

@Matias Nice to see you pop up again, thought you’d decided to leave us as I’ve seen nothing from you in a long time.

@Matias I’m sorry to hear that Mathias, but not surprised because I remember you were routinely attacked when you posted, what I always found to be thought provoking and interesting questions or opinion pieces. I am beginning to think that the European mindset (I still consider myself to be one despite exit from EU), is more nuanced than those on the other side of the Atlantic who generally see things in black or white . Many here are incapable of separating the poster from the premise, and make a personal attack instead of debating the question. Anyway, I am glad you decided to return even in a lower profile role and I can understand why.

6

God or no god.. I don't argue much about that... I don't believe... Period.... As for the great atheist / agnostic debate... I don't really care much about that either way.. I know what I am... I usually engage in such discussions for fun and amusement, trying to make their heads explode 😊😜

I must take a leaf out of your book!

@Marionville it is less stressful 😊

Manipulating words to manipulate people to get what you want ("fun and amusement" ) is not what I would call critical thinking (or honest).

@FearlessFly I wouldn't call it critical thinking either.. What's your point?

@Cutiebeauty When you "engage in such discussions for fun and amusement", that sounds a lot like trolling. I'm not advocating 'grumpy', but I prefer straight-forward/direct/honest.

@FearlessFly OK.. Did you even read the op? My response should be read in the context of the op...

@Cutiebeauty I read the op -- and all the comments/responses. How does Marionvilles' trouble with inappropriateness/attacks excuse 'trolling' ("for fun and amusement" ) ?

@FearlessFly if I am having a nice discussion with someone about a semi serious topic and someone else enters the discussion with name calling and insults as their main argument, for me, it's fun time..

1

I know what you're talking about and I'm afraid I have 'out' myself as a frustrated agnostic who has all but given up trying to convince atheists they cannot by definition also be agnostic.
But now and again, depending on my mood, I'll gird my loins and once again join battle. I try to do it with a light heart, but contrary to your take, atheists will betray a mean-spirited darkness of attitude which makes easy-going banter problematic.
It's true atheists, like conservatives, display a perspective of 'true belief' in their point of view. They seem enraged by what they think is a milquetoast agnostic diffidence, a lack of sufficient fanaticism, seem intent on placing us on Dawkins' scale of belief, mock our insistence we HAVE no belief and belief itself is irrelevant...
But, as I like to say, 'it is what it is.'
I would only urge atheists to admit their deeply-held, strident beliefs are based on exactly the 'lack of evidence' they point out in Theists.
To the 'atheists' who dislike high-volume shouting, I would ask them to admit their 'unbelief' is based on fantasy.
You see, I as an agnostic think a KIND of god other than that of the personal, anthropomorphic, Abrahamic variety is possible, maybe even probable; since there DOES seem to be the unifying forces of gravity and electromagnetism, energy DOES equal mass times the speed of light squared (whatever that really means), mathematics reveals an incredible elegance underpinning the physical world, reincarnation seems to be a circumstantially defensible possibility, extraterrestrial visitors appear commonplace, quantum physics belies much of what we think we see with our eyes and think with our brains, etc.
So SOMETHING is going on here which cannot at present be 'proven' but neither be disproven, either.
I have this weird idea we are actually exact opposites, literally black and white.
Black allows out no color, white allows IN no color. Black denies everything, as it were. White allows for everything.
Not a perfect analogy, but I'm just blowing gray smoke anyway. Maybe we all are.
So angry atheistic close-mindedness seems to me inappropriate and unsupportable. I can only hope they develop more of a sense of humor about it.

I’m afraid you seem to have missed my point entirely, although you did start well with your first sentence. I do not include you in my reference to “aggressive agnostics”, as you are polite and courteous in your language, and I hope you can acknowledge that I do not fall into the “strident” variety of atheists either. The point I was making is whether you see my point of view or not, resorting to personal abuse is unacceptable in an exchange of ideas or beliefs. I don’t need you to go over why you think I’m wrong in my beliefs, or to be more accurate disbeliefs, we can discuss that until the cows come home and probably never agree. The point of my post was to say there is room for all views here, but only if we remain respectful of each other’s views, even without any meeting of minds. I agree it probably cuts both ways, so let’s all be more tolerant of each other.

@Marionville Au contraire, the debate itself is invigorating in a sense.
That I am open to all viewpoints is liberating.
To wit: I believe as much in Yahweh as I do NO GOD, NO WAY.
See?
You're mistaken if you think Atheists outnumber Agnostics, btw, in the world at large. Even on this site the numbers are fairly even.
It's just much easier to articulate YOUR position because it is so much more absolutist, therefore simplistic.
The agnostic stance is nuanced and subtle. Everything is relative. We don't know anything.
Atheists, despite what you claim, KNOW there is no god. Don't try to deny it, or quasi-nuance it by saying you're 'sort of' agnostic because (of course) it can't actually be proven 100%
Yawn.
It's just that there are better ways than ad hominem attacks, more polite and civilized ways, to drive home the point Atheists and Theists are two sides of the same coin.
To me it's instructive and illuminating because, well, consider I think it IS possible to be an 'agnostic deist,' in that a deist believes in an uninvolved, impersonal 'god,' which seems much more in conformance with what we observe. THIS 'god' is not personally relevant, has nothing to do with our everyday lives, doesn't care what we do or not do, in my book isn't an 'entity' as much as an unknowable 'something.'
It'd clear up the 'determinalism' versus 'free will' conundrum, for one thing...for obviously nobody knows the future; it's not possible, period. Just like time travel is impossible.
It also clears up the question, 'If god created the universe, who created god?' The obvious answer is, the universe has always existed. Nobody created it.
Some agnostics would be very comfortable leaning that way. To me, the question is not, 'is there a god?'
Of course there is, if by that you mean, 'does the universe exist?'
The real questions are, WHAT is god? If everything is god, does that mean nothing is? Is consciousness god? Is everything conscious? Etc. The questions are endless and can only be discussed, never solved.
To me, belief and non-belief are beside the point.
What's the point?
Good question.

1

You state: "Why can’t I get that over to aggressive agnostics?"

Why is that important to you? Save yourself some grief; some people just cannot comprehend beyond a certain point. I don't know if that is due to nature or nurture, but the end result is no matter what the logic or complete overwhelming evidence you provide, comprehension of the facts eludes them.

Sadly that’s so...but sometimes it just happens that someone joins in a perfectly polite and amicable exchange and turns it into a vitriolic attack. I don’t go looking for them believe me.

4

I can relate 100% , especially your last paragraph .
My father raised both my sister and my self without religions , as he was a very outspoken atheist .
However , he insisted for both of us to study any book available on world religions , and we both took it as electives as well in high-schools and universities . By the age of 19 for my sister ( she graduated medical school at 19), and 21 for me ( the slow bird of the family ), we had our own opinions and evidence and ideas of gods and devils .

Here on this site , I have learned to mostly be entairtained by anyone who tries desperate and over and over again to point out to me that “spirits , souls , karma , nature , energy “, must mean something or , I am an idiot for not been able to see it .
Fine . I am an idiot . It works for me for 30 adult years so far ✌🏻Next 😂

You’re nobody’s idiot my dear...and they’ll have me to deal with if they say so! 😁

Very intelligent know your enemy

@Marionville me too she is intelligent and awesome

1

There is a very fine line between being an agnostic and being an atheist. Opinions? We're all human and a lot of it is based on our experiences and what we feel is right or wrong. I've never met aggressive agnostics or atheists. But I imagine they would be aggressive because of the way society discriminates against us with government support.

Trod Level 5 Feb 18, 2020

Sorry...I replied to you thinking you were the poster I referred to..I hope you didn’t read the message before I managed to delete it....it’s the blank cameo which confused me. I think the reason some, only some I stress, are aggressive here on this site is because they hold a minority view. We are all entitled to state our points view, but we must be able to do it in a courteous manner, and not become abusive and make personal attacks on those we disagree with. I’m not American so don’t understand your remark about discrimination with government support. Surely atheists would suffer the same discrimination ,probably more in fact.

4

Yup came across a few buttheads, just block and move forward

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 18, 2020

Has to be done occasionally.

4

Some people just have to be right! I feel sorry for them, and usually just ignore them! Life is short, they are struggling with their own insecurities. I just avoid people like that.

I think I may decide to do the same,

1

WHAT? I'm a man and I've never insulted any of these Nerks and Wazzocks, ya daft old besom 😉😉

No..of course not you! I think I’ll go and stick to the Words and Music groups which are inhabited by much gentler souls!

@Marionville Unless they Dylan fans when he went electric

@Marionville no seriously I know who you mean an have most of them blocked, if I want to converse with stubborn new age mystics, wannabe hindus and navel gazers I know plenty of them in real life, who are far more pleasant about it

4

@marionville why spend your time that way? Isn't it better spent listening to music you love? Some people thrive on conflict.

Good advice!

Btw, I've got this weird little mini-anthem by Rainbow in my head and can't seem to shake it, The Temple of the King. It's quasi-religious but seems to be oddly anti-religious allegory, or something. Very amusing, anyway.
I sometimes listen to obscure little songs on You Tube all the time. Great way to kill the time.

@Storm1752 My world is filled with music all the time...I’m the host of 3 different music groups here on Agnostics.

@Marionville and she is an A HA fan!!

@Bigwavedave I’m glad you’d noticed!

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