Agnostic.com

30 7

How many have long term goals? I was chatting with a friend (61) recently and asked where he wanted to be in five years. He said he has no goals and blamed it on a failed marriage. This is a mindset I totally don't understand. How do you know where you are going if you haven't set a destination. For example, my goal is to be in the best shape of my life maintained by hiking and biking with friends. To be with someone who makes me laugh and I am compatible with physically, and to travel, continue learning and making new friends. How about you? Taking it a day at a time or do you have set goals you are working toward? This is especially directed at the over 60 crowd? Does retirement mean no goals are needed?

Redbud 5 Apr 4

Post a comment Reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

30 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

8

I have the opposite view.
Change is the only real constant in life and as humans we seek to make life appear static. We seek stability and detest change as it makes us feel unstable or uncertain.
My life both as a child and an adult has taught me to be comfortable with the changes and that the "comfortable feeling calms" are a illusion, a calm befoe a storm, the lull between waves which are inevitable.

Those waves might not be huge, they could be ripples or Green Water, but we cannot know and it is pointless to worry over them. they are out of human control.

So short ranged plans for a point make sense to me, saving to buy a car or house, saving for school, to move, plan a trip. These plans and actions have a point.
Planning to work out everyday so you can be fit in your 80's at 20?
THAT is to me assumptive as hell and reveals a privalage you feel entitled to which I do not.
Life itself.

I have seen life itself snatched out too randomly to just expect that working out for 60 years will allow me to be fit when I am 80, although it might.
It is far more important that I be happy an enjoiy working out for those 60 years than the 10 fit ones at the end. IF I hate working out, and torture myself for 55 years and die in a car wreck, what was that for?

So when I make plans to stay fit, that is because I like hiking today.
Not because some future me might enjoiy it.
Future me is a figment of my imaginantion.
Present me can plan for future me, but those plans ought not to himnder or hamper present me because present me actually exists, and future me only hopes to.

I never expected to see 30 breathing, and now I am a grandparent pushing 60.
It's ALL GRAVY now, even the shitty stuff.

I'm diggin your answer

5

Perhaps the best goal is to have no goal beyond a willingness to go with the flow, to continue to learn, experience, love in concert with, and driven by the expectation that life is limited.

cava Level 7 Apr 4, 2018
4

My Long Term Goal was to making it to Retirement. I did, I conquered my goal alive and in good health... so Pardon me while I live the rest of my life in Gravy while Retired.

4

At the age of 81, I no longer have long term goals.Rather my goals today are much more immedidate and attainable.

Well said!

4

I took Calculus with someone over 60. Education isn't something you can finish..

Marz Level 7 Apr 4, 2018
3

I am almost 60, my only goals are to continue doing what I am doing. I have no desire to achieve anything in the coming years, just to be content and enjoy being alive.

At one with the universe - a powerful ambition.

3

My goals now that I'm retired and have a disability are mainly short term goals, I'm happy with that. My long term goals before retirement , some I accomplished others I changed my mind about. I've always had an attitude of not quitting , which served me well in my trade. Now most goals are overcoming my disability to do certain things, case in point, I went to meet a woman I met online and did it without having to carry an oxygen bottle with me. P.S. I did tell her about my disability.

3

I pretty much take things a day at a time. I really never could plan out what I wanted to be, but all that has worked for me. Right now, due to an injury which seems to have set off this arthritic response I'm not getting out to ride my bicycle or work out and that bothers me. I am hope the hip replacement will improve my abilty to get around more like I use to. That's my rant for now.
Long term I want my pain free self back.

I understand and I wish you freedom and pain free-ness.

3

Of course we have to have goals. For me I'm a political activist. I want to see many Republicans voted out this Nov. 2018. Have to stay on these congressman's tails, show up at town halls. Ask pointed questions. Get behind new candidates. I have to have a hysterectomy,waiting for a date..for that to happen. After that i want a new bike too.

I am researching for a new bike as well. Any recommendations are welcome. I would like a hybrid that works on and off roads. Good luck on your surgery! K.

3

There is a place for goal-setting of course, but it’s not the only way to avoid aimless drifting. Goal orientation can take you only to places you can conceive of in advance. Process orientation can take you to places you never realized were desirable or even existed. Oddly, both science and faith are process oriented. Superstition, on the other hand, and the satisfaction of appetites for example, are goal oriented.

skado Level 8 Apr 4, 2018
2

I discovered very early in my life that goals were mostly pointless. But I did discover that you can have a great journey without a specific destination.

2

Goals destroy life.
Shed your blinders.

2

My "long term goal" is to not die before my parents.
My "short term goal" is usually to make it through the day or week.

I'm not of great health (riddled with autoimmune and other diagnoses - not complaining just a fact), I'm working class, and I see not grand retirement in my future.
I'm not looking forward to death or have any kind of death wish, but I also don't have a lot to look forward to. Cheery, I know.
I do have friends and go to special events, and those become new "short term goals" as they present themselves.
All that said, I'm pretty upbeat, happy and productive; just no real 'goals' to speak of.

2

I lost the ability to consider the future after years of debilitating chronic pain--during which the only "future" I could imagine was one of total disability; destitution; burdensomeness; unending, incurable, excruciating pain; crippling anxiety and depression--and, to cap it all off, vilification and contempt from society.

My mind and spirit broke. I'll never heal completely. I still don't like to think about my "future."

I am so sorry to hear you have no hope for the future due to chronic pain. The fact that you've joined this community is a positive step, don't you think? I have only been here a few days and I can tell this group is chock full of good people and potential friends. Please count me among them. Message me any time you want to chat. Katie

I understand and I know it sucks.
My goals are to get through each day - sometimes... to make it through the next hour.
you are not alone.
#AKF

I'm thankful there is a now. Many times in my life it was the only place I could live. I still think it's the best.

@Redbud, @scurry, @skado, and everyone: I lived in hell with fibromyalgia pain (and then additional psycho-social fall-out from disability and joblessness, when you're very young and and healthy-looking, with an invisible illness) for 15 years. The good news is my "FM" pain (or whatever it was; who knows) essentially disappeared, in a few months, after I changed my diet--over a year ago. I have been more or less pain-free for about a year. . I can imagine what a future without daily physical torture looks like--and, believe me, that means something deep and wide to me. But I have have seen to the very outer limit of the human capacity to prejudge, condemn, make assumptions, refuse to believe, refuse to listen or consider fairly, discriminate, resent, sabotage, etc. et al. So imagining rebuilding a future for myself is not my favorite thing to do. Thanks, e'rybody, for witnessing my suffering with compassion.

TL;DR: I'm not in physical pain anymore. The emotional pain is going to take more work...

@stinkeye_a
That's great that you are now pain free and see a future.
Did this all happen since you original post this morning?
Sounds like a miracle.

2

In 5 years, I hope to be a PHP developer with a house payment for my kids. And still doing music

2

I had always had goals right up until about 2 years ago. I gave up on goals and plans because I had so many setbacks and curve balls thrown that it seemed pointless to even plan anything. Nothing went as planned and all dreams and goals were squashed during the past 8 years. It is during this period that I learned some very important lessons as well as a first hand education on how the world really is, how people are in reality and who is and who is not trustworthy. I became very cynical and skeptical. I am just now making some plans and goals with a healthy dose of caution. I am no longer cynical but I am skeptical with a mild dose of realistic optimism .

2

It's easy to give up after a divorce, particularly if you loose your house and access to your children and you're on the wrong side of 50 and you did nothing wrong.
I speak from experience.
I don't really give a damn if I live or die. The only difference is that if I live I might win the lottery or something, otherwise I just do what I do day after day looking for something to get excited about so I can live again. It just hasn't happened yet.

2

Almost 60. I have no use for "goals". I take life as it comes.
I also think everyone is different and there are no rules.
Some people believe in having goals for whatever, and others don't.
Neither are wrong. You just have to do what's right for you.
More than anything, you have got to be flexible.

2

I did. But at my age, staying healthy and functional is my new long term goal.

2

Now that I am healthy after being forced to retire 6 years ago I am setting goals. My goal was to travel as much as I can and meet someone who is interested in getting to know me. I recently met a member from here-there was no chemistry but I haven't given up. More men from my geographical area are joining each day and I am optomistic. Talk with members long distance but thats ok too if you have no physical boundaries.

Hope your feeling better

2

I always have had long term goals. And I still do even though I am 68. It is because of them that I am where I am today. Being able to live and enjoy life because of the work I have done to reach my goals. Having something to look forward to rather than just sit and wait for something to happen. You make it happen.

2

My long term goals are to get fit, write a novel, pursue a masters in Biology, start a family, and travel the country and world.

1

My goal is to enjoy myself as much as posible. Just try to be happy. What comes will come. Let the game come to me. "Best laid plans of mice and men." "Que sera, sera".

1

To not become a burden is the only one I can think of . I've done the whole list !!

1

I'm nearly 73 and I have goals far into the future, yes, some might call them bucket list items. So far I have accomplished most of what I set out to do in life, and I continue to have goals to look forward to.

I have had goals since I was a child, so, that's as long as I can remember. I didn't know they were goals at the time, just things I wanted to do.

I remember my parents saying things like, people like us can't do that, I showed them that they were wrong.

I had a few goals I accomplished much younger than expected, so I set new ones. and I have one that is years old, still lingering into the future.

My life accomplishments, attaining those goals, brings me joy and satisfaction.

I believe people with goals outlive people with none.

The negative comments about goals I see here I find appaling...

I have a poem for those people... with apologies to Edgar Guest.

Somebody said that it couldn't be done
But he with a smile replied
that maybe it couldn't,
but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so 'til he tried.

So he buckled right in
With a bit of a grin
He sat down and got right to it
He tried that thing that couldn't be done
and he couldn't do it.

So for all you naysayers and people who don't have goals, that poem, which describles my mother, describe you.

So go ahead, vegitate, have no goals and no future, sit in front of the TV and waste away, I'm going head long, bound for glory with things to do and places to go!

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:49881
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.