When I was much younger, I took a girl on a date to the movies. At the end of the date there was some kissing. I also told her I wanted to have sex with her. She got quite angry with me it turned out she never went out with me again and she never spoke to me again. Was that an appropriate response.
2
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You say she got quite angry with you. What does that mean? It is hard to say if it was appropriate if you don't describe what you are talking about.
WTF and a punch in the face is different than saying that it was too soon to be saying something like that.
Stephanie99
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
3
Hard to tell. Was she a virgin? How old were both of you? Was it a first date?
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Apr 22, 2018
2
I have no idea whether she was a virgin. I believe I was 18 I think 2nd date.
I guess I can sympathize with her. I was a virgin till 18-last of my friends If she was a virgin I'd be pissed too.
I have never asked to have sex with someone. One thing just leads to another and is stopped when it goes beyond what someone wants.
The closest I've got to that was my ex. asking if I 'wanted to do sex at her' 
Thor knows where that came from! I think she'd been sniffing something beforehand. This became our 'go to' mating call.
djalicex
Level 5
Apr 22, 2018
2
I think maybe your statement came off as aggressive. There are a LOT of variables that could have affected her response but I think that by phrasing it as a statement rather than a question... ie. Would you like to have sex with me? It makes it feel threatening.
SabertoothBunni
Level 2
Apr 22, 2018
1
Emme:
Yes, sex is supposed to be a good thing. And the manner in which people go about it shouldn't be threatening.
Yes very much so. Basically you are telling her that sex is the only thing you are interested in her for. That's just insulting. Even if its not the only thing you are interested in you put it first before you got to know her as a human being. So yeah, I would have reacted similarly.
cmontes
Level 5
Apr 22, 2018
6
You probably saved yourself a great deal of frustration down the line. At least you found out early on that this was a relationship which was probably not worth pursuing.
One of the things that it's really important to find out early on in the courtship process is whether the person you are hoping to develop a romantic relationship with likes sex and sees it as an integral part of who they are. Not as some "other" aspect of their being which they parade around on rare occasions like the Crown Jewels.
If this person reacted so negatively to the thought of being physically intimate with you this early on, then imagine what things would have been like two years down the road if you had stuck around. You would have been lucky to receive physical intimacy once a month, and only then after having to grovel for days and weeks on end.
You don't want that. Always pursue women who like men and enjoy sex and you'll be much happier.
Just always remember to understand that not every intimate relationship you become involved in will wind up being a long term thing. She might get bored and move on, and that's perfectly ok. You'll know that it was good while it lasted and that you never had to grovel to have your needs met.
webbew1
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
1
I get your point but, society has always put a lot more pressure on women to restrain their sexual desires than men. While that seems to be changing somewhat, it still exists. Hard to say why she resented his advance to the extent she did.
Emme:
Really?!
As a hedonist, I absolutely enjoy sex with both men and women.
There is a level of mutual respect and communication that should be involved to be able to obtain mutually satisfying sex. To imply someone doesn't like men or sex because they had self-respect & said, "No" on a date is disrespectful and selfish. I'm digging neither of those traits sexually.
@UnityBrad....
Agreed. Keep in mind that the United States is still steeped very deeply in puritanical ideals.
Sex is still considered "dirty" unless it occures in the missionary position between husband and wife, and only for the purpose of procreation.
This attitude permeates our entire culture, and it especially seems to be prevailent on the outer fringes. One thing which both militant left wing crazies and militant right wing crazies can 100% agree upon is that they hate sex unless it fits in to their narrow window of what they think sex ought to be. Both groups just love to stick their noses in to other people's bedrooms.
These puritanical ideals have been especially tough on women. Any woman who actually admits to liking men and enjoying sex is labeled a whore by the right wing or some kind of helpless victim by the left. They get hit especially hard from both sides.
Meanwhile, those sane folks who reside in the middle just live by the notion that so long as what goes on in the bedroom occurs between two consenting adults and nobody winds up dead or in the hospital, it's nobody elses business.
I certainly hope that the day comes when it's possible for women of sensible mental faculties to openly admit that they enjoy sex and male companionship without being pidgeon holed by a differing insulting labels from both wings of the looney bin.
Was this the first date or the third. My rule has always been to wait to try till the third date. While I believe women know much sooner whether they want to have sex with you, there might be a certain comfort level that needs to be reached for them first.. That level is probably relative to the connection they feel with the man as well as their level of intoxication. Just my opinion.
Seminarian
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
2
YES. No woman who starts to think some guy actually likes her for herself, wants to find out his entire goal of taking her to the movies and paying attention to her in the first place was to satisfy his body urges.
birdingnut
Level 8
Apr 22, 2018
2
But that's kind of the whole point of becoming romantically involved with other people, isn't it?
People can hang out in a non-sexual way all day long. We date in order to have something more than just a beer drinking buddy. We date in order to have our sexual needs fulfilled. And this applies to both men and women.
We seriously need to get over this puritanical notion that a persons sexuality is somehow not an integral part of "who they are". Walking around with the idea implanted in our heads that somebody somehow thinks less of another individual just because they find them sexually desireable isn't healthy.
It is entirely possible for someone to be sexually attracted to another person and STILL wish them success, happiness and prosperity. These are not mutually exclusive principles. They are the mark of being a decent human being.
@webbew1 LOL! Spoken like a male..no "love" -just sex. And on a first date, unless you are claiming to be able to fall in love with a woman in one date and care about her. I think not.
Was she Catholic?
chucklesIII
Level 7
Apr 22, 2018
0
Emme:
Gimme a break, I'm in recovery for that ❣??
@Emme , yeah, it can do quite a bit of damage. I wish you luck. Hang in there!
Emme:
@chucklesIII
I'm all good now, well sorta...?
Now I get to do all kindsa fun stuff with NONE OF THE GUILT ❣??
@Emme , very glad to hear it. In all seriousness, I lost someone recently due to suicide that was brought on by depression which was started by Cathology. She was one of the kindest people I had ever met and was a protector in many ways. She never recovered from the guilt they pushed onto her.
Emme:
@chucklesIII
I'm sorry that happened.
Religion that is oppressive sucks.
Maybe I’m missing something but it seems to me that both of you were justified. You to ask, which is not wrong and her to say no and move on. The idea that there are secret codes about the appropriate time to express desire seems outdated. As long as you were not crude or aggressive, of course.
Kayladad1
Level 4
Apr 22, 2018
2
I wonder if more options are needed without judgement. I would prefer a bit more interaction and would feel the vibe if it was there. . being a good kisser could change the dynamic. Each must have a theme I enjoy romance (redefined) and physical interaction with imagination and eroticism. Why bother to hump like a buffalo Just me
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