Agnostic.com

32 5

I've had a couple of people ask me if I've read "Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus". Today I went out and bought the book. Has anyone else read this book and if so what did you think about it?

SonderOpia 8 May 16

Post a comment Reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

32 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

13

Wasn't there a follow up book 'Assholes are from Uranus'?

LOL

11

I read it a LONG time ago. Other than the title, there wasn't a whole about it that was particularly memorable.
I do remember believing for a long that men and women were just "wired" differently.
Then, after living a good bit of life, realized EVERYONE is wired differently.
The more we try to explain why men and women are different, the farther apart we make the divide.

@germangirl90439 Thank you. I really do try to make those kind of points. 😉

@KKGator LOL

9

Back in my self help days I bought the book and still have it. A therapist gave me the tape as well. Men and women are wired differently and comprehend events differently.

Since women need to give birth of course the chasis needed to be wired different.

9

It was a self help cash grab filled with pseudoscience, junk science, stereotyping, bullshit, jargon, blanket statements, and broad generalizations that ultimately amount to nothing.

Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel. LOL

@SonderOpia I was holding back, lol

@Kafir hahaha

9

I bought it in 1995 and read most of it. I don't really remember much about it other than this:

I brought it to the park one day. My boyfriend at the time was going to play some sports with friends and I was going to hang out and continue reading it. I know that some of it resonated, but a lot of it didn't map onto the relationship world as I knew it. When we left, we walked past a dumpster and I pitched it in.

@AMGT I had gotten to a part about phrasing questions with "could you" or "would you" rather than "can you" or "will you" that just seemed like the last straw, so...floop!...into the dumpster.

9

This book contains too many generalizations about men and women. I stopped reading it.

I don't like it when people stereotype others, for example, "Mexicans are lazy" or "women are emotional."

8

I think there is some truth to this pop psychology. Men's and Women's brains are demonstrably different. Men have fewer intra-brain connections. Men have larger areas associated with spacial reasoning (that's why we never want to ask for directions.) Women tend to be better at language.

There are differences and we complement each other. A whole (a mixed couple), the two parts together, is greater than either part alone and, in my speculation, this is a result of human evolution.

8

It's a long winded way of saying men's minds and womens minds work differently. at the time it was written it might have been relevant but society as a whole has moved on now there is no longer that much of a split between the sexes some men act really effeminate if I asked my dad what moisturiser he used he'd look at me like I'm taking the piss but I regularly hear guys in their 20 discussing what products they use while at work and I have met a lot of women who act extremely masculine compared to gender stereotypes from the 80/90s. Honestly no book can tell you how a mans mind works I'm one and I don't even know how mine works. We do dumb shit for no reason at all and it doesn't matter how smart the man.

Well considering I'm almost 50 years old the men I'll be dating aren't millennials so maybe they'll fit the book better?

6

I read it years ago. It was all right. But after you are 60 romance takes on a whole new dimension. When everybody is dying around you its one day at a time. I don't have the time to try to figure out a woman. If you want to sit around and bitch and moan about what i did wrong in your life, go back to your own place and bitch at the mirror. If i hit the town with a woman, i want to laugh and have fun. That book is about trying to figure out men and women.

6

Is an old book that came in the 80's I think. A few lives ago I read it. Nothing about the buzz I remember.

6

Out dated very out dated

5

It was a good exploration of the different outlooks that men and women have in a relationship. While not groundbreaking science or anything, it did help to explain the archetypes of the opposite gender to the reader. I would take it notionally, not factually.

5

Is largely been proven to be full of crap.

Yes there are some obvious biologically specific traits to the sexes, but really most of the neurological differences between male and female brains are plastic, fall on a spectrum with a lot of overlap, and can be changed by experience behaviour and hormones.

As I recall the book mainly offers up a lot of retrograde comforting platitudes to traditional gender roles. It's mostly valuable as kindling.

5

I read it too. Remember nothing. I bet it's not on any feminist reading list. Lots of those women don't even accept we're biologically different, never mind coming from different planets..

5

Aas the British say: shite!

5

Read it in the ‘90s....entertainment value at best...

blzjz Level 7 May 16, 2018
5

People can site "brain differences" all they want to. My take on the differences between the sexes comes from things like 2 types of dolls as children -- i. e. Barbie and G. I. Joe, and other such differences taught to children early on. If G. I. Joe had makeup you would find a lot more men today wanting to wear makeup.
Things like this change as the years go by but similar concepts are responsible for lots of differences between the 2 sexes.

The original GI Joe has a scar in the face, I never knew any man wanting a scar in the face... so what's your point? Wearing makeup? Go ahead.

@atheist I don't wear makeup. Others might. As for the developing brain in Utero ask a scientist.

5

I tried to read it as I thought it was science fiction. It was. But not a very captivating one.

5

Though it is loaded with observations of stereotypical behavior and explanations for that behavior, I found it interesting to understand socially driven motivations of others.

On the other hand, since I rarely fit any stereotypes and I am typically not drawn to those who fit them, I found it of marginal use for any of my working relationships.

5

Though it is loaded with observations of stereotypical behavior and explanations for that behavior, I found it interesting to understand socially driven motivations of others.

On the other hand, since I rarely fit any stereotypes and I am typically not drawn to those who fit them, I found it of marginal use for any of my working relationships.

5

I have read it - long ago. Can't remember a great deal, other than the feeling that I wasn't greatly impressed. I can't even remember what failed to impress me!

5

If I remember correctly, there's a chapter about "how to avoid arguments." I thought it was wrong information to put out for the most part. Here's my take on arguments. They are GOOD! Any relationship that lasts will have MANY arguments...so I don't agree that they should be "avoided". There is a right way and a right way to DO it, but airing your thoughts to your partner, even if it's arguing and gets loud, is healthy. Where you cross the line of course, is if you begin throwing out verbal abusive slants toward the other person, or becoming physical.

My wife and I regularly argue and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It's what I feel has kept us strong for going on 20 years. Afterward, we always "kiss and make up" and we tend to speak TO each other eventually about the topic instead of AT each other, which does happen frequently when each person is upset or feels they really need to get their point across to the other person.

Arguments are healthy, as long as boundaries are respected.

5

Read it, and have discussed its concepts many times. I found it interesting, and fundamentally, theoretically sound. Men and women do have different ways of looking and responding to their world; but there are also many similarities and commonalities. Like any self-help book, I saw this one as being an opportunity for some people to become more mindful and emotionally competent. No one size fits all and i know many who found it useful. Did you?

I haven't started it yet. I plan on starting to read it today. I still want to read it just to see what it's all about. Plus I enjoy reading and hope to get a little something out of it. Even if it doesn't have much to offer it'll make me stop and think.

@SonderOpia I just bought Transitions by William Bridges for 3 of my contacts who are going though major changes in their lives. It is another worthwhile read. I also know that many people read such books like they do mysteries and fiction. But self-help books are different if one wants to get maximum benefit from them. When reading a self-help book, as we come across suggestions and options which might help we need to first personalize how the suggested fixes could work for us. I've always suggested to clients that they journal in a separate notebook as one reads through any book which one chose as a helper. I hope i haven't been presumptuous with my suggestion.

@josephr that's a great idea to write in a notebook while you're reading a book. Taking notes is very helpful. Thanks for the advice.

@SonderOpia my pleasure. Enjoy

4

I did read it and I felt like it fed right into a lot of the stereotypes people believe about each of the sexes...I didn't take anything from it that helped my relationship at all, but it was a decent read.

3

Didn't care for it....

Hutch Level 7 May 16, 2018

Why is that?

@SonderOpia
I look at it as a conveyance of differences.
I just erased a 30 minute soliloquy... got carried away!
IN MY OPINION...it seems to me that we seem to thrive on our innate differences, and disregard our many similarities...whether we differentiate on gender, race, sexual preference or belief, we seem to focus on things that are designed to keep people apart. I associate that with negativity. I choose to appreciate things that are vehicles for positivity, preferring to separate science and pseudo intellectual speculation... and please accept that as opinion.

@Hutch I wonder what I'm going to think about the book.

@SonderOpia I think you MAY find it interesting... Kind of outdated with a few superfluous anecdotal speculation...but for its rime, it was retry good I guess!

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:82412
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.