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If a man says you're hot, that's not a compliment. He should say you're beautiful. You're a woman... you're not a weather report.

Duke 8 May 17
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32 comments

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13

I say that women should dictate what is and what is not acceptable - it's not your place to tell them. Some might be fine being told they're hot but not if it's unsolicited - some may be OK if it's unsolicited. If you're in a relationship or on your first date - listen carefully - you'll figure out real quick what is and what is not acceptable.

@Stacey48 Must try listening sometime. Got to do something about my selective hearing!! 😉

12

I am both hot and beautiful. I'm also pretty cool.

Deb57 Level 8 May 18, 2018

You got some class too.?

@BucketlistBob Well, thank you! 🙂

Definitely you are!!!!!

10

I certainly didn't mean to stir up such controversy. Those of you who know me on here know that just about everything I post here is intended with a touch of humor. This was one of the times that failed me. Whenever I dopost something serious, I usually put a bit more of an explanation into it then a two sentence statement. So, I apologize to anyone who was offended by this statement. I'll be back trying to make you laugh again later. Duke

Duke Level 8 May 18, 2018

Feel your pain dude... I told a story few days ago and whaaooo, things got out of.. uuffff... No worries, comes with the territory

I've had a "hot" time reading the comments. That's yet another interpretation of the word, as in "There'll be a hot time in the old town tonight".

You innocently felt right in your statement. It made since to you. I like how it brought out the vampires and thier man bashing. Lets get honest. Does it really matter? Everybody lives in their own world. It could be half empty or half full.

@BucketlistBob ha ha ha I know it's only semantics but gotta say, vampires and bashing... Just brilliant !!!!

10

Everyone is so goddam sensitive now.

9

There are many ways that it can be expressed. It does not mean that it has be offensive.

8

Been down this route before..... All I can say, if a woman tells me I am hot then damn right it is a compliment !!!!

7

If someone told me I was 'hot', I would take it as a compliment.

I actually hate it when men on dating sites say I'm beautiful. It always stinks of insincerity and it makes me feel like I'm being played.

Sex is not dirty.

@NotAndrew

Unfortunately, decent men like yourself are paying the price for other men being players.

7

I never really thought about it that way. I don’t mind being called hot, but find me hot for more than outward appearance. I have called men hot, but not generally for their looks. Most likely it was something intelligent that they said that was hot to me. The smarter they are, the hotter they get. I am a sapiosexual, I freely admit that.

Love your answer...

7

Perhaps the woman is in peri menopause. Hot is a frequent occurrence. ?

DEsk Level 4 May 18, 2018
7

So, no wetness predictions? :'(

6

I've call women hot plenty of times and have never gotten a bad response yet. I don't ever say anything like ooh damn baby you're hot, but if they ask how they look or why I ask them out I'll slip it in with the other reasons. For all the time they spend doing make-up and getting themselves ready they deserve a complement. Like I said I've never gotten a bad response but then again I tend to go after a women who aren't politically correct so that may have something to do with it.

6

It's not a compliment but a statement of fact. It's 92 degrees and my car AC doesn't work. (Well, in the truck I'm borrowing....cause my car is totalled...sigh)

😟

5

I like the Spanish language distinction.
"Soy caliente" means "I'm feeling horny"
"Siento calor" means "I'm feeling the heat."

5

Absolutely and thank you. A great distinction

Actually, I have to retract my earlier comment on this. It dawned on me that I've used it myself. And I meant no offense

5

I would feel outraged if a man referred to me in a sexual yardstick manner, such as saying I was "hot" or a "7." I do not exist for his viewing or sexual critiquing pleasure.

Unlike most cis hetero men, who would likely love to referred to in a sexual manner, I want to be seen as a person.

The more i hear from you . The more i see you as just that... a person. Trust me ... its just fun and opinions in here. A lot of us aren't looking for your heavy feedback. Do me a favor and block me. Your so into yourself you sour everthing you comment on.

5

Ok... i had my 10 minutes of my opinion...its gone now.

5

If a man tells me I'm hot, it's because I'm running a fever. If he tells me I'm beautiful, it's because he's a damnable liar.

@BucketlistBob True, I am. I don't lie either.😉

@KKGator hmmm...ok.

I like that wry reply of yours.

@Crimson67 You are incredibly sweet.

@Crimson67 Speaking for myself, I think that we as women have been conditioned to ONLY accept hot/beautiful (or similar) to describe ourselves. We are so much more than that but sadly, throughout history, our worth has always been attached to our 'beauty'. What do you think?

5

I agree Duke 😉

4

Or...If i man tells you you have nice breasts, legs,thighs.Tell him to go to K.F.C. You are not a peice of meat.

Coldo Level 8 May 18, 2018
4

I brought an old picture of me to work one day taken in 1971 and the women remarked that I was a 'hottie' back then, I liked it.

4

I'll probably catch flack for this - but: it seems as tho the women who feel they're being insulted or objectified if a guy tells them they're "hot" are the same ones who make themselves look as "hot" as they can and then get upset when guys wolf whistle as they pass by. Really? I understand that we all do what we can to look as attractive as possible - for a multiple of reasons.....all of which go back to the issue of satisfying our own ego. A little sense of humor might go a long way - maybe don't attach so much significance to each and every "word" and try to think about the intent instead.....one man's "hot" might just mean the same as another man's "ravishing"....or "sexy"....or "beautiful". Just seems like we've got a whole lot more important things to get worked up over...just sayin'

I just looked at your profile and cute came to mind...lol. Thank you for your honesty of telling it like it is.

@Lavergne and @BucketlistBob and @GregAndrews if I'm dating a guy and he had at times mentioned how nice I look and then one day says I'm hot, I'm fine with that in fact I really like it. But if I'm walking down the street and some guy makes that comment I'm not at all into it. And I need to add that I don't dress sexually provocative unless I'm on my way to bed with someone. So I honestly can't be included in that mentioned group of women who dress to look hot. So maybe I'll only make it to the "cute" category but it doesn't matter as long as I'm happy with myself.

@AmelieMatisse. Honestly?! You never know who thinks your something....

4

Language has nuance and context. What is permissible in one situation may not be in another. There's no need to be prescriptive about it.
If a girlfriend is trying out a new outfit and asks me how she looks, I might say "Hot!".
If it was her mother, I would not.
Don't try to fit everything into the same box.

Very good example and excellent point

4

I doubt if I will ever have that dilemma. No one has told me I am hot or beautiful in many, many years. I'm just happy if they tell me I'm smart or funny, or quirky, or they like my tattoos or something like that. I'm very old, so I've learned not to expect it.

3

Oh, that is too funny. I never liked that term anyway as it makes me feel like an object to be used for gratification

@Kassie all he has to do is sing Joe Cocker's "You are so Beautiful" to me and mean it and it might just work for him LOL

@Kassie you got that right. Even some of the male answers on this post are off base. Yeah sure I tell someone I don't like it and they say they don't know why not and keep on doing it

3

Men will always say compliments like 'hot'; I mean how can something right be so wrong? This is America and men have the right of free speech-right or wrong and I'm not apologizing for saying a lady's 'hot'; I'd rather call ladies 'honey' or 'sweetheart' than call them 'bitches' and 'hoes'. Next thing you know women will be offended if a guy asks her if she would join him for a cup of coffee!

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