If you don't knock it off I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you over the head with it.

Worked up until the point I experimented to see if she really would.

"Don't you come crying to me when you're lying dead at the side of the road..." - when I was first spotted venturing further than the outskirts of the village on my bike.

"You could have her eye out if you hit her in the ribs!" was quite a common one whenever my sister and I were throwing things at each other.

Go outside and play!!! (There were six kids. She probably wished for traffic.)

'Don't go upstairs empty handed' and 'It costs no more to be nice'.

I was a handful:
You’re a m.e.s.s. (Mess was the first word I misspelled.)
For Pete’s sake! (I still don’t know who Pete is.)
You cotton picking little clown! (Spanking in the near future.)
Keep it up and I’ll trade you in on a boxing kangaroo!
Just because every kid on the block has one, DOES NOT mean you’re getting one.
No. Or no, we don’t have enough money. (This taught me the difference between needing something and merely wanting it.)
HASSE! Don’t touch! (HASSE is German for hot, for the longest time I though it meant don’t touch)

"Use your head for something other than a hat rack".

"Nobody's more than 80 percent right." Which was interesting coming from her in her fundamental Christian phase.

Your mom is sly stone? Mine too! Love that song lol.

But seriously, “if you don’t listen you’ll have to feel!”

Be quiet and keep your ears open

Be quiet or I'll give you something to cry about.

Mom, “You’re legs are younger than mine,could you go downstairs and get...
Mom

wish in one hand.... pee in the other... see which one get full first ...

"A lady keeps herself up at all times", "A lady needs to always be kind to others and to herself".

My Mom used to say “I don’t know why we couldn’t have been born rich instead of so damn good lookin’!” ?

My mother (a traditional Puerto Rican lady who didn't get out much, drank rarely and smoked never) loved dining out with live music. On these special occasions she would assert her sophistication by puffing on a cigarette, as she sipped her cocktail, and declaring:

                        "I always did love the bohemian life." 

“Oh shit.” My grandparents said it too. They were my first words.

I love all my children equally.

Get home early.

You will have to cover your ears young lady, my mother is the queen of cussing and I am not even allowed by my moral compass to repeat some of the things she say! I was raised by my grandmother, she was Law! But always remember grandma saying..."Go ahead, you been on your own since age 12" inside of me I was... how does she know?

Mom...can i get s pack of cigarettes from you...no!...well ok...don't let your daddy know.

The best way to get over someone is to get under the next.

“jesus mary and sweet saint joseph!”

Do you want a beating for that? Ummm yes?

Your nipples are showing.

Do we need to go to the car!