I ask how this god can have a "plan" and everything is going according to it yet they claim to have free will. You cannot have both as they cancel each other out.

What I was taught, in an effort to get around this, was that god does things according to his foreknowledge. So, according to this line of thinking, this god knew that so-and-so was going to die horribly in a car accident, or that some little girl or boy was going to get abused/molested by some adult, so it set everything in motion to make sure that it happened according to its plan that is based on it knowing that this was going to happen... WTF???

Is this god bound by its foreknowledge? If so, it is not all powerful. Can this god change what it "knows" is going to happen but doesn't? Well, then it's an effing monster a lot of the time. But, if it does change what was going to happen to another outcome, then that is the outcome that it knew was going to happen, right?" And, is it bound by that, returning us to the fact that it could not be all powerful if this is the case?

Okay, my brain is starting to hurt. All I can say is that if there is a god with a plan (and I don't for a moment think there is one) then it was part of its plan for me to have doubts about it and become the atheist it always knew I would become.

I know what you mean. I often have to do a lot of tongue biting.
A neighbour does charity work in Nepal by helping to build toilet bocks in rural areas, which I find admirable even if it is organised by a church here in the UK.
I was chatting to her and she mentioned a friend of hers who is living in one of the remote villages while he translates the Christian bible into their language. I think she was trying to convey the hardships the poor guy has to endure.
I thought , how dare he. Those people have their own religion which is a mixture of Hinduism and Animist beliefs so what right has he backed by a church here to try to convert them to Christianity. But of course I said nothing.

I couldn't agree with you more if I tried. The people who spew those kinds of things, typically, have had no problems or tragedies in their lives. Another possibility is that they have no concept of reality, whatsoever.

I don't understand this whole "it's God's plan" thing. If it's a plan then what you do is planned out so you don't make any decisions. I don't see how that's helpful. You are now in a universe where you don't have any control over even the smallest decision about your life. I suppose you don't have any responsibilities and don't have to do anything. If I stay home from my job and play video games all day, it's God's will, if I am then homeless, that was all of his plan. I don't see how this is a helpful way to organize a society.

I've got the same compulsion! Whether it's religion, politics, bad grammar or stray apostrophes...The problem comes when you meet someone you really like, but they hold totally opposite beliefs...

Keep up the good work. These bland religious assurances make me really angry, too. We have to point out their stupidity whenever we get the chance and question their acceptance of it.

I always questioned the god made man in his own image as soon as I understood a bit about evolution. Which 'man' did he mean? From someone like Australopithacus or Homo Erectus or us or any of the many in between? Nobody had an answer for the simple reason there isn't one

The best approach is to repeatedly say, "Really! Tell me more."

Exactly.

Opening your mouth may be the first time they've given another option thought. I say keep it up

Yes, but it's hard to change perspective when both parties think they are right.

Good luck with that approach and I do wish you success.

Lol you know the phrase in the land of the blind the one eyed man will be king...or be killed.

People won't let go of their fantasies until they're ready. Insightful people can help a lot of people and sometimes that means encouraging them to see how religion isn't working for them, but that's damned rare IME. Unfortunately, I'm not a consistently insightful person.

I doubt many Christians have never been told they believe in fairy tales.

Good points, i also ask "in his image? So he could get appendicitis (he must have one after all) , cateracts and all the other human complaints and illnesses that come naturally? Oh, and does his oesophagus and trachea cross too, so he could conceivably choke on .... manna i suppose? Always thought this was a serious design flaw from a supposed perfect, infallible being"