Boy...what a tight squeeze you have put yourself in! Because, this is such a big issue (for both of you), I would put the marriage on hold for now! This relationship needs some more experience with the tension that these different life perspectives will bring on! Wouldn’t you want to know how they will work together...since they are very different! You will need skill and not just romantic love here! My best to you both!

Only you know what it is worth to you. What are the implications after you are married. What if it doesn't work, half of marriages end in divorce, and a large part of that other half stay together in spite of the fact it may not be a good relationship. The Catholic church frowns on divorce more than murder. If she won't compromise on this, what other big decisions will she not be willing to compromise on. Follow your gut.

Any ritual, in any religion, is meaningless unless you put the meaning into it. If it were me I would participate in this ritual for the sake of my loved one. It would mean a great deal to her and her family and mean absolutely nothing to me and just a show of support. I do think I would make it clear that you are doing it solely for her benefit and it will mean nothing to you.

If it was me, I'd go ahead and get baptised, since it doesn't mean anything anyway. But you should be concerned about her insistence on a religious rite. It may prove to be more problematic later down the line.

I think it depends....is she ok with you not having religion in your life? Or is this step one to get you into her church. If it's just for venues sake, no worries. If it's about forcing you into a religion you don't want.....I'd be careful

I wouldn’t do it. It’s a matter of being true to yourself.

I would have never done this when I was younger, but now I think its less important. I say "go for it", provided you have all discussions before hand. In particular-- will you be expected to attend church, will the children be raised religious, etc. Other than that, its just a ceremony that isn't very important.

The first thought that came to me after reading your post was I wonder if your girlfriend was willing to compromise. Only you know if you can live with yourself if you go ahead with her wishes.

Unless one of you changes over time this conflict will come up again and again in various circumstances. So you need to figure out if one or both of you are expecting the other to change, because while some religious folks chill out over time you have to both go into the marriage figuring that the other person ISN'T going to change.

You have to live with your decisions.

There are an awful lot of variables, and definite possibilities you might want to consider now, BEFORE shit gets legal.
What's going to happen when/if you have kids?
Is she going to insist that they be raised catholic?
Are you going to be badgered into attending mass?
In addition to baptism, are you going to be coerced into the other "sacraments"?

Your core values, credibility, and integrity are ALL you really own that cannot
be taken from you. Are you willing to give those away?
Especially to someone who has already made it clear that she does not respect
your personal choices and feelings. If she did, she wouldn't be "hellbent" on
getting married in the catholic church.

Sounds like you've got A LOT to think about.

Only you can answer this. For myself, I would see this as a red flag.

Too bad you have not been baptised yet. If that had been done before the age of consent and reason you could now be DeBaptised.
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If you love her then you will have to make some consesions. No, I am not saying it will be easy.

I would refuse to be married by a potential pedophile.

Dude I went to pre marriage counseling at my now ex wife church so we could get married there and even pretended to be a believer. Just so she could have the wedding of her dreams. The wedding is all about the bride. If you love her do what you have to in order to give her this. It won’t make you any lass a heathen Just make sure you have one hell of a bachelor party so it’s worth it you too.

I have a friend that became a Mormon and moved to Utah so he could marry his "Love of my life". I counseled him at great length against, but he ignored my advice. The marriage lasted 11 months. I give you the same advice. You are who you are in your heart of hearts. You can not be anything else my friend.

I am reminded of a holocaust story that a Catholic priest would baptize jews and give them baptism papers dated before the war started with which they could leave the country for someplace safer. Many Jews had quite a dilemma with that. As the heroine of the movie put it, I could swim in a vat of holy water and it wouldn't make me any less Jewish. So the initial act won't make you a believer, however, what will come after? This comes down to asking your gut. Does it feel right to you? Is she asking you to compromise who you are? Make sure you're talking about how the children will be raised, how the holidays will be celebrated. Do you have any resentment about this request of hers? This can and will affect more than just your life.

Civil marriage is the best solution here. can't imagine anyone getting baptized in catholic church

You do what you feel is right for you. If you truly love her and want to do it.It will make her dream come true. After the wedding just tell the church to fuck off. They will excommunicate you from the church.
But really we all have lots of advice and opinions about it but really it is your life, your girl, your marriage.
BTW I was Catholic before I was born. Lol

I have been atheist / agnostic for many decades. It was important to my wife that our kids were baptized, in order to do this we had to both go the catechism school. I was NOT allowed to ask any questions. This was about 20 years ago now. I found the whole process to be amusing and as I said it was important to my wife, She has never asked me to do anything of this sort again, our children are grown and agnostic / atheist.

My comment got cut off. You have to decide if you feel like she is going to push farther and how far you are willing to go.

relationships are attachments. attachments cause suffering. you are stronger without.

Nothing in your description suggests that you would insist on her going through a superstitious ritual. Yet she, according to you expects it.

On the face of it she's demonstrating a serious lack of respect for who you are. Love respects and admires. If those elements are absent, so is love.

One sided love has a short, doomed shelf life. I'd work on self respect and self love and admiration. Because if you are prepared to counterfeit who you are to please a woman who doesn't show respect or tolerance for your differences, you both appear to share the same dim point of view and valuation of... you.

Bargain away what little of yourself you hold in esteem this time and you'll have even less to 'bring to the table' next time.

You are the bigger person by being true to who you are. A non believer. What are you bringing to the marriage? A deep dive needed here. This isn't about her- this is all you.

Good luck. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest.

If you've already had sex before the wedding then becoming a Catholic would damn you for all eternity. Ask her if that's what she wants.