My comment got cut off. You have to decide if you feel like she is going to push farther and how far you are willing to go.

relationships are attachments. attachments cause suffering. you are stronger without.

You are the bigger person by being true to who you are. A non believer. What are you bringing to the marriage? A deep dive needed here. This isn't about her- this is all you.

Good luck. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest.

If you've already had sex before the wedding then becoming a Catholic would damn you for all eternity. Ask her if that's what she wants.

Be you, stick to your guns.
I married a catholic, I didn't back down, civil marriage in a garden, great wedding, lousy marriage.

You have to wonder why she would put such a condition on you getting married to her. If you agree to that, what else will she ask of you? The wedding should be what you both want rather than what she wants.

If she is Catholic and hellbent on this it would appear that you have to do it their way.

My father was in the exact same position as you mention. He approached the Catholic church and asked if he could get married while keeping his own faith but was told he had to become Catholic in order to marry my Mom. He refused and my Mother instead changed her faith. Regardless of the religious approvals, they were happily married and stayed that way till my mom's passing. Don't let religion get in the way of your life.

She's putting her faith before you.

And it could be said you're putting your non belief before her.

Religion and atheism are like oil and water, which makes it impossible to compromise.

Marrying sounds like a bad idea.

You must had no friends, seeking advice of strangers?

My ex and I solved this by using a priest that was no longer with the church. A good compromise.

Don’t do it. If you compromise your own truth, you lose your integrity.

My advice: Don't do it. Don't do the ceremony required by people who believe fairy tales are fact because some book tells them so. Don't do the marriage to someone who believes fairy tales are fact because some book tells her so. Be true to yourself. Do not compromise on this or you'll be compromising on everything. Life is too long to fill it with frustration and misery.

Is it possible that she's using this to nudge you forward in her own attempt to convert you?

I was just a kid when I got married my fiance was Catholic and wanted to be married in the church but was willing to forgo it. It didn't really matter to me so I said church it is. There was no baptism involved, not sure where that idea came from. No it didn't change my feelings about religions.

Getting married in that church might have important connections for her which have nothing to do with religion. I'd find out whether it's REALLY about religion or just about satisfying her parents, etc. She should know that, as an atheist, ''conversion'' is off the table here! This is a very basic difference and you should know precisely what her agenda might be.

As someone who was raised socially Catholic I can understand her desire as Catholicism is built on ritual however I would be unwilling to go thru the process of being baptisted into any religion to make my partner happy because it would be dishonest. If having a priest officiate is important you can find some pretty progressive priests who would be willing to marry you outside the church which seems like a reasonable compromise.

Dude ... the religious bullshit and the ceremonial mumbo jumbo is all just that - mumbo jumbo. It all has about as much true significance as waving your hand over a hat to make a rabbit appear. If she's worth that paltry bs to you then by all means go for it. Having some happiness and the experience of love for any time makes it a no-brainer. Just remember that with attachment comes suffering. That is the price.

I have known several marriages with Catholics vs any other religion. Most likely once the priest hears your not Catholic, he won't perform the service until you are. She will resent you for not changing, you will resent her if you do. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

JESUS CHRIST!!! Are you afraid of a little water? Take your baptism, laugh at the priest's sexy little boy jokes, marry your woman, stop going to services, write the pope to excommunicate you for godless heresy. You gave her her "fairy tale" wedding - now tell her that's it. Dispite your personal convictions it doesn't excuse you from human obligations/traditions, particulary when "holy ceremonies" are involved. Get it over with - it's just water, god doesn't give a damn if you belive it.

This was an incident in the old movie" I Remember Mama". If it would make her happy what is the harm? Marriage is about compromise. It is referred to as working on the marriage. But it's compromise. Now if she wanted something like a face tattoo, I might consider that very carefully.

You need to have confidence that she will honor your position. If she doesn't you both have a rocky road ahead. Be true to your core values or you may later resent her for nudging you away from them.

Love is compromise. Tell her how you are uncomfortable with it and maybe there's a different way. Maybe an outdoor wedding or something. If she blatantly refuses to even consider it and refuses to compromise then maybe it's best to not marry or break up, because then she obviously cares more about her own desires than you

Easy way out, get baptized. It's not a big deal to pretend.....what you really have to weight in is what else will be coming at you going forward. Will you be able and willing to handle it as well?

Wedding is the smaller of the problems here . Wedding brings kids . Kids bring responsibilities to teach and provide w options and choices . If wife religious and imposing to u , an adult , what do u think will be the fate of your potential kids ?