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Do women enjoy sex as much as men? Does it depend on who they're having sex with?

Movies always show these guys lasting like 5 seconds as comedy. Are most guys selfish in bed? Generally speaking, do guys have a higher sex drive than women? Most guys probably won't turn down a chance for sex, but on TV you always see the guy sleeping on the couch as punishment. Do you think some women fear men although they enjoy sex?

Atheistman 6 Feb 19
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20

Wow, that's a lot of questions. Both sexes enjoy sex a lot. Who does more? It depends. The ancient Greeks had a myth that explored this question. A seer named Tiresias got to live in both a male and a female body. When the gods asked Tiresias who enjoys sex more s/he said Women do. Of course, that was only a sample of one.
Looking back over the arc of history, men have spent a lot of energy and effort policing the sex lives of women. Think harems, chastity belts, female genital mutilation, early marriage, etc. This suggests that men are afraid of female sexuality, possibly because they are aware, consciously or unconsciously, that women's Capacity for sex is much greater than men's. Some scientists believe that women evolved sexually to enjoy multiple partners in a single episode, since they can have sex repeatedly without much resting in between, unlike men. Sex at Dawn explores this concept. Human females don't have estrus, unlike most other mammals, meaning that they can be open to sexual activity at any time, regardless of their fertility cycle.
Also, it's worth mentioning that sexual athleticism peaks for men rather early, about age 20, while women peak much later, in their mid-30's, or even later. So in our modern culture, male sexual superstars are usually paired with young, inexperienced partners, while female sexual superstars often have partners who are already past their prime. And all the "rules" tend to favour male sexuality over female.
With that as backdrop, I will say that in my experience, men are often clumsy and selfish. This is based on both my personal experience and my clinical exposure to the intimate lives of many couples. Men don't have to learn much about female sexual responsiveness to get their jollies, and many of them don't bother to learn. Porn has reinforced and encouraged this double standard. I have been surprised to date men in their 60's who are clumsy kissers, and can't be bothered with reciprocity when it comes to oral sex.
Men are also able to divorce their sexual responsiveness from emotional attachment, better than women can (or do). These means a lot of men treat sex as a commodity or a bodily function, compartmentalizing it from the rest of their lives. This is an advantage for men in some ways; they can "enjoy" sex with prostitutes, or casual hookups, better than women can (I'm generalizing). Most women say, and I am among them, that casual or anonymous sex is far less enjoyable than sex in a loving relationship. Of course, if a man loves you, he is much more likely to try to please you than if he barely knows you, or has paid you to share your body with him.
And yes, all women fear men, if they have any sense in their head. Men are afraid that women will laugh at them; women are afraid that men will kill them. That is a complicating factor for sure.

Wow that's saying a lot,! And saying it well too shp. Kudos!.

Agreed! Very well said!

Well said!

So I am proven right here when I say,women who hardly know anything about me think I am loaning on streets to kill them?--I cannot be even slaughter a chicken. I never had a feeling that women will laugh at me, why would women think that men are out to kill them? Isnt this paranio?but i like your well expressed remarks.

Very well said, As a science fan I have read about this topic, The female evolved the orgasm to the point of pleasure. With this she evolved to have a climatic time causing the need for rest or just lie there letting the sperm navigate using gravity and body function.

with all due respect, and maybe I'm an exception, I couldn't have sex with someone who wasn't going to enjoy it so though I respect prostitutes I wouldn't pay for one and ill never be a rapist. I said before this is not possible to answer from any one person. I'm highly sexed and love it but that's just me. I watched a poor woman on tv having orgasms literally every minute and it was really fucking her off. I've seen a woman, not in person, seemingly loving sex with lots of partners who can't get enough and I've seen a woman on this very post who just don't like it and men are macho liars and/or wankers after all woman don't very often get busted for rape. you might say woman can't rape men and you would be wrong. there was a Sargent in the army (female) who got busted for raping a private (male) as it was proven a man can have an erection he doesn't want. from a personal view, i will definitely agree as I am often getting erections I don't want or at terrible times. then there are perversions like fancying people who are terminally ill or dead. humans are the only mammal that will have sex with another dead human. this question can not be answered by even a hundred people as we are so diverse.

I do agree with a lot you said for sure @sunhatpat.

@0752532706 it certainly was not how I generally looked at men "in my younger days" , like fearing men generally. I think I was rather oversexed, where now I have lost interest all together, and don't miss it. I just praised my lucky stars in retrospect to never have [been] picked up [by] a really violent man. Emotional abuse, yes. But I wasn't much afraid of violence as a rule of anyone. Sure, certain situations, certain men, all your hair stands on end you you do what you can to get away. But I have seen the violent side of women too, though it is less often physical. But on the whole, I agree with sunhatpat, and thanks for her long contribution.

7

My sex drive increased significantly when I got to be about 37. My ex didn’t seem to have any sex drive whatsoever. I do find that most men don’t seem to give a crap whether I’ve cum or not. But the few that do, or even get more out of pleasing than receiving? Those are the true gems. Guys, just try to give even a little bit of a damn about if your partner is enjoying herself.

If a woman doesn't enjoy herself then I don't That is the most important bit for me. If a man only wants to cum he might as well masturbate and doesn't need a woman to be there. Sex IMHO is all about what two people can do to please each other.

Exactly, but it’s almost shocking how few guys feel that way @El-loco

6

Too many men seem to believe that all they have to do is poke it in and out and we'll be their's forever.

I want foreplay. I want foreplay to continue when the actual sex act begins. I want to feel loved, cherished, wanted; and not for just a hole to put it in. I want my partner to listen to me on what I want and not believe they know better than I do (I've actually had men tell me that they know what I want better than I do). In otherwords, I want the same attention given to me that I give to them.

When I started to read this I thought you were a bloke. That's exactly how I feel. I understand what you are saying. We should meet.

But we never will.

5

Yes, to the first half and Most Definitely to the second part of the question. Now, if you add in the age where both men and women reach a sexual peak where they would have sex just to have it then in both the age varies. Men are usually younger and women are usually in the 40's. But again, everyone is different.

4

All generalizations are false, including this one. For every example offered there will be a counter example.

Sex is about (or to me is about) intimacy. It is about how I am feeling about myself, and my partner and our relationship. All that is influenced by how I am feeling at that time, both physically and emotionally.

Younger men have more testosterone which leads to a higher sex drive. If you are getting your sex education from TV and movies you're in bad shape and we have just revealed a good deal of what is wrong in America, if not the world.

I have enjoyed sex with some men, and there are some men I fear, and I not about to have sex with a man I fear.

I had a lousy early sex life, so by late 30s I was really feeling disappointed believing that guys peaked in their 20s. Luckily my 40s were my best years, I worked for myself, mostly over night installing computer networks,paid well and my days were free. That was when i discovered single mums. Their only free time is when the kids are at school usually, nights and weekends are out. Most available guys do the 9-5. Downside was that my kids were older and I was not that great putting up with young kids again, particularly kids with drop kick fathers who would ensure they made life difficult for the mothers.

4

I can only speak for myself . For me , it very much depends on who I am with , and how that person treats me . Mutual respect is an absolute must for me . Intelligence , is a definite turn on , as is a willingness to help with the work that needs to be done . Cutting me down to his size or lying about who he is , in order to impress me , is a definite turn off . While sleeping on the couch , may seem like punishment , it can also be a sign of respect . Most certainly , if you are not in a relationship , but somehow get stuck with limited sleeping quarters , she does NOT OWE you sex . Under absolutely no circumstances does a woman ever owe any man sex . For a woman , sex is a gift of her body to you . She risks , a lot . According to the 2015 census statistics , it costs over a quarter of a million , that's right over $250,000 , to have and raise a child . Historically speaking , and in some cultures today , a woman can be murdered for having sex outside of marriage . In some cultures , even if she is married , but her husband was not approved by her family , she could be cut off from her own family , if not killed . A woman with a destroyed reputation , will be treated differently by others , even those not involved in her life . A lot depends on the culture she is in . In addition to these concerns , there are also the concerns about STDs . If a man has sex with others , he's likely to introduce any of the numerous STDs into a relationship . There is no cure for HIV , and it's deadly . It requires a lot of expensive long term medical care and ends in death . Just because you bought her a can of soda from a vending machine , does not mean she owes you anything .

3

I think I enjoy it more and of course it depends on who you're with.

dream girl. wink

3

My sex drive increased in my late 20's, while I was still married, which resulted in me pleasuring myself more. It definitely depends on who you're having sex with. Sex with my husband was not a marvelous experience. We divorced at the end of my 20's. Now I'm able to really truly enjoy sex, I feel, with different partners who can show me new and exciting things. So I do think it really depends on the partner you have whether or not you'll actually enjoy yourself. When I'm my partner, I have no complaints 😉 As to who has a higher sex drive, I'd say that it just varies, or could possible be even.

3

The question of who likes sex more, men or women, was a subject of debate between the Greek God Zeus and his wife Hera. To settle the matter they called upon Tyresias, the blind mystic who had lived for seven years as a woman. Tyresias was renowned for being ambiguous or leaving out important bit from his reports, but on this occasion he was unequivocal: women love sex ten times as much as men do.

3

My wife and I can't have sex. We haven't for over a decade. And I won't ask her to do any alternative to pleasure me.

So that is why you now worship guns... figures.

@gipsyofnewspain thank you very much for the typical response from a masturbating clown who enjoys to inflict physical and emotional pain. You crab infested ass fuck.

3

Yes, yes and maybe. I can usually tell the sex of the writer by how the movie portrays the encounter. A man generally will make is easy to do and things move linearly and fast. A women writer tends to build complexity and passion into the scene. I plead guilty to this dichotomy when it comes to sex. Love however, lives on a different plane. It may include sex, but it may also lead to celibacy.

and probably will.

3

A discussion on who enjoys sex more seems to shortchange one of the partners from the mutual benefits of maximizing the experience for both. For me, it's the interaction of one with the other, and vice versa, that makes sex worthwhile. Too many times, it is the male who creates the situation - by getting the satisfaction he chooses - and she gets to be frustrated. How can the female ever get to enjoy things more than the guy in such a situation. The woman will, in most cases, come off second best. So, a variation that tends to make things work more equitably, and more beneficial to both, I believe, is for the guy to let his partner "have her way with him." It now becomes her choice on how to pleasure herself - and in the same gesture - he gets pleasured. It's amazing how this kind of sex play can result in never having to ask whether he - or she - enjoys it more. It can usually end up in a situation in which they both do! On the other hand, another important factor should be considered here. Guys - are you maximizing the situation with providing sufficient foreplay? if not, you're missing the boat. I'll even argue that the guy who takes his time - and even overdoes the foreplay a bit - that puts his partner into wanting to get to the next step - or even begging for the next step - gets to experience a totally aroused partner who may become totally pleasured. Such a satisfied partner can result in a totally satisfied guy. If done with finesse and patience - these behaviors may bring continuing long-term rewards. Well women, what do you think? Could these suggestions help? As for me, my motto of - "Happy woman - Happy guy!" works wonders.

3

Not a one size fits all, Some women enjoy it more than most men, and I think in all cases it depends on who it is with. I have slept on many couches as punishment, sometimes I have been joined on the couch, sometimes I tell them to go back to bed. One woman really annoyed me, then kept holding my hands in a movie, at home she went into my bed, I slept in another room, in the morning she confused me, saying she was disappointed I didn't try to go back to my bed, and that it wouldn't have done me any good. If you think women fear men, you don't know women like the ones I know, they scare me.

Yes, go back to bed woman. If a woman joins you on the couch you respect her decision.

And, if there's a woman out there who fears men she has only herself to fear.

3

As I'm not a woman but have had sex with approx 20 women and I like it a lot and I've been around a while, I would say in my humble opinion there is just about every possibility out there in both sexes. I don't really see you getting a true answer if literally thousands of men and woman of many sex drives and orientations to actually know. that is a huge question made of few words.

I've only had sex with 8 woman.

Hangs head in shame.

why hang your head in shame?

@El-loco There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a low body count. Quality over quantity dude.

yes, I agree to @JohnnyMiller, I was just telling the truth and personally, most of them were when I was young so wernt great.

2

Guys guys, pay attention. Notice some of these ladies answers. Look for words like commitment, connection, it depends, conditions apply, love, consideration, thoughtfulness, attention etc. and almost in the very next sentence they mention how equally as good or better than good inanimate rubber dildos are.
Kind of ridiculous ain't it? Almost like they're negotiating. Funny.

Notice the womansplaining thing.

In fairness there is plenty of room for disillusionment on the part of both genders, but yes, from the average man's point of view, it's a funhouse hall of mirrors and constantly moving goalposts. I think understanding the other side's perceptions is a step toward sorting it out. A lot of men AND women I've talked to about it, don't even begin feel to like an effort is made to hear or understand them. It reminds me sometimes of how theists and atheists talk right past each other, using the same words, meaning different things.

Personally, I'm too old for this shit anymore -- I'm just putting it out there for what it's worth.

2

Have you ever had sex? Do you speak to women frankly and honestly? Do you trust women?
P.S. I am a man and will not answer for them.

2

Physics alone gives insight that women enjoy sex either equally or possibly more than men. The male libido peaks by the mid 20's inspite of their ego. Where a womans peaks by the end of their 30's. Their are many variables on both sides which determine each individual lusts, wants, needs and or desires. To think, feel or believe one sex is more driven than the other is placed in the hands of each person individually, based upon each individuals views and outlook on sex. Which gives basis to possibly what and or where you partake in the pleasures of sex. Whom encounters more pkeasure is pretty much determined by each individual, male or female.

Ditto!

2

lol

Marz Level 7 Feb 19, 2018
1

Very subjective, as everyone else is saying. But there is the problem with men often not giving much care towards the woman's pleasure. As for higher sex drive, i believe research has shown that generally men do have a higher one, but i could be behind in that particular study if anything new has come out in the last few years showing otherwise.
And yes, many women fear men. Patriarchy is mostly at fault i think for that. Personally, I tend towards a higher sex drive. There are periods where i don't want it and can't easily be convinced, or really convinced at all (very rare, though i have enjoyed it the few times ive gone through with it anyways) and other times where im horny like all the time. My default mode is if you do a little foreplay, you can get me raring to go. Im very easy to please (also have almost no kinks) and have never had any problem with orgasming (often multiple times...). Very different story from what seems to be the vast majority of women. Wish i could give a little bit of my low pleasure point to other people xD but with one exception in my past (he was super charismatic and skilled and attuned to what I wanted), weve got to be able to be pretty good friends for me to have sex with you. I just don't care to risk it otherwise.

1

I just came to your post on the top of this page I have not read the comments below. Why the hell would someone try to have a relationship with another person and not make sure they are having as much fun as you are? Am I doing it wrong or something, if she does not come first I am not doing it right. I do not get it. I have no idea who enjoys sex more, don't care, everyone has to give and get. Perhaps I am wrong or have a weird sense of play. Perhaps it is because my mother told me that "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." I took this to mean do something more than just be there like a fish on a bicycle.

1

I hope not ! .... It's their duty after all . Please don't have me killed for that comment .

DUTY ???? your joking right? you got a hand and tissue and their porn, prostitutes of both sexes. if it was through duty I wouldn't want it. no one needs sex with another human ever, they just want it. it can only be great for me if its great for them.

@LeighShelton Of course I was joking .Good Heavens .I understand Mafekin has been relieved too.

phew lol

1

Yes and yes.

0

Whoa - one question to a customer !

There's no one answer to any of these questions. People are way too varied in their choices, their sexual lives, and their ways of responding . Please don't believe everything you see on TV, or take it as gospel. Some women fear men, some don't like them. Some men fear women - even thought they want to do them ... Speculation. All of it.

0

I hope so! 🙂

0

A thing I've noticed in other comments . Men seem to think sex begins with foreplay , it doesn't . Sex begins with what's between your ears . Let's say , for instance , you have a standing routine , that the two of you agree to spend each Sunday morning at the movies . Perhaps you have a business trip , you're out of town for a Sunday . The following Sunday, a family emergency keeps you elsewhere . Some of your buddies , invite you on a weekend hunting trip . Then you spend a Sunday at work , doing a required inventory . While there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of these excuses , never the less , you've proven to her that , she is of no importance to you . After the long day of hard work on the inventory , you arrive home , smelling of stale sweat , covered in grime , exhausted and hoping for some instant sex . Meanwhile she may also have been spending her 40 per week at her job , plus dailey travel time , then when she gets home she spends her home time taking care of household chores . I've read that on average , women spend over a hundred hours weekly taking care of family - grocery shopping , lugging the groceries home , preparing meals , cleaning the pots , washing the dirty dishes , and her work spaces , washing the family laundry ironing , folding , hanging then delivering it to the appropriate closets , cleaning the house , and everything doubles if she's given birth to your baby . Then in addition to everything else she's doing , having just been released from the hospital where surgery is a part of childbirth , in addition to everything else , she's low on energy , but has an infant to lug around , has new responsibilities for the dirty diapers and all that goes along with caring for a new child . She does these chores , because she feels you are important and she cares for you , on a daily basis . But she has so little value to you , that you can't even give her a couple of hours over a month , aside from taking what you want . Spend as much time and energy taking care of her as she takes care of you , and you'll find she's more open to sex . Treat her with love and respect , not as an afterthought .

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