Crikey! That's powerful stuff.

Nice one Matt

All funerals are for the families, friends, or whoever sets them up and pays for them. People who are afraid want to cover themselves in conventions in order to avoid the fear that they are doing something wrong. It is a sign of respect to do things as the deceased asked, but it's unrealistic to expect that your wishes will be followed unless you have an ironclad agreement with a funeral home director. Or a deal with the mob.

Thanks. I believe that's what we do and I've found that it's comforting to both the religious and nonreligious.

Very apropos.

Tell the crowd I was a fart sniffer. It won't matter to me.

@Level1 Hey, I am going to calmly reply to you.

@Perspicalidocious said the person who passed on was "proudly gay and a sarconic contrarian atheist."

sarconic - likely a typo and meant sardonic - @Level1 do you not know what this word means? look it up if you don't and look up contrarian as well.

So this gay man did not follow religion and was against what the rest of his family believed. Which means that when his family threw him a "The family gave him a religious church funeral against his wishes." funeral that family completely disrespected that gay man's last wishes and ignored how much he tried to separate himself from religion, because I can already tell there is no way his family didn't know about him and his views. Being lgbt+ of any kind is typically abused within religion, adding to how horrible this family was acting. They sound like bigots, and if they really did this, then they were bigots.

I respect someone's grieving process - some people go out partying, some people stay at home and inside, others want to be around friends & family. It's the same with what people say - some people say "rest in peace", some say "I'm sorry for your loss", others make light-hearted jokes. But there is a point at which "Nobody is going to stop me from doing/saying this because everybody understands that I am grieving, I am in pain" does not make any sense to fall back on as an argument and is hurtful to everyone else, sometimes including that person.

"Just let them be" is often what people think when someone who is grieving begins sleeping in late or isolating themselves, but there is a line that it can cross. Would it be okay to say "Just let them be" if the person started heavily drinking? What if they used lgbt+/gay slurs about him? People made inappropriate comments and then his own family got in the last word about what they thought of him and his life. That is crossing that line.

With that, I absolutely would say, politely of course, "Excuse me, but the man you are speaking of separated himself from religion and was an out-and-proud gay guy. It is a part of why he separated himself from religion in the first place. I am asking you politely to not use religious phrases about his passing on because he wouldn't want that. Do not disrespect him please, thank you."

Towards the family, I definitely would have confronted them. I've confronted bigots before. "You're grieving, you're sad and angry, you're stressed, yeah, I am too. You are not the only one that lost somebody. The entire lgbt+ community lost one of our own, and we already have so few that lived OUT and HAPPY and PROUD like he did. I have the decency to not spit on his life and how he lived by going against him when he cannot even stand up for himself. He is dead, the least you can do is respect his final wishes." Judging that family, experiencing some awkwardness or tension, and arguing with them is worth it to stand up for someone. However it seems you believe it is better to keep the peace and not upset anybody even when people SHOULD BE upset.

The family did not respect him. Why are you giving this awful family any kind of leniency or forgiveness in the face of their bigotry? (why are some others in this comment section doing that too..?) Are you also a bigot? It would make more sense if you are a bigot because otherwise why would you get so angry and hateful towards somebody being the slightest bit judgemental towards a group of bigots?

This slap-in-the-face funeral situation sounds like one of the many times a family decided to get the last word in on their lgbt+ relative. With their passing on, the family can send the person off however they wanted where they couldn't choose how their relative lived. There are millions of lgbt+ people who have cut off connections from their family because their family does not accept them or because their family full on hates them. (I am not saying that happened here, but I've seen it one times too many.) Sometimes, unfortunately, when that lgbt+ person passes on, the family (and I use that word very lightly in these/this case(s) are the only people left with the final decisions. They end up taking care of the deceased's funeral and wishes.

Did you know that in my time it was common and legal in canada and almost everywhere else in the world for hospital staff to not even allow the boyfriend or the girlfriend of the respective man or woman who is dying to see them? That still happens around the world, you know. Did you know that gay friends and lovers are still barred from attending the funeral, and it's legal in places?

How old are you? Because you talk like an ignorant child. You are saying awful things with that ignorance, and that makes you stupid. Seriously, you just told @Perspicalidocious "I hope no one ever attends your funeral." That is a disgusting thing to say. I would love to talk to you in person, face-to-face. Find out why you are the way you are. Why you would say something like that to someone? I doubt that you would say what you said here in-person though because I doubt that you have a spine given that you wouldn't stand up for somebody even if standing up for them is seen as "being mean".

For you and a lot of others in this comment section:
The entire point of @Perspicalidocious question was wanting a simple but sweet acknowledgement of some kind in place of Rest In Peace because R.I.P. is a christian phrase in origin, and many people are not christian or even religious (why i and a lot of you are even here) including the person they are talking about. @Perspicalidocious was not asking to be told "just use r.i.p. it's fine" or for anybody to wax poetic to them about how death is inevitable. All this person wanted was some useful alternative phrases.

@Perspicalidocious: My defiantly atheist out-and-proud gay friend died. His family sent him off with a religious funeral like a bunch of asshole, bigoted zealots.
You, @Level1: fUcK You, dOn't jUdGe tHeM1!!!!!1!!1

Seriously now, what is WRONG with you?