My dads entire life he was an Atheist. He battled cancer for several years and upon his death bed when he was not of sound mind, his wife had him baptized and had a minister save his soul.
This angers me bc I know it was more for HER peace of mind. She is no longer a part of mine or my sons lives. Am I wrong to be upset about this or should I be happy in case she was right and we were wrong all along?
Feelings aren't facts so always remember that feelings aren't wrong of course it anger you. Forget about in case she's right cuz even if there is a God or whatever power it's not like the one in the Bible I call myself an agnostic atheist because I believe in not knowing personally I don't like it when people seem sure there isn't a God or sure there is one it's an unknowable. But just like you want people to let you be you let her be her. By the way I like your profile I'm a contradiction too .
One of the purposes of religion is to provide comfort with respect to our own mortality and that of those close to us. The idea that you end this life and go to a better place, and that when your loved ones die, you are reunited with them, takes some of the finality out of death. It might be nonsense, but as a coping mechanism, it has validity.
Yes, it sounds like she did it more for her own sake than for his, and she's violated your and his principles along the way. But equally, it sounds like he might not even have been aware of that, so perhaps there's no harm done to him. If it helps her with her grieving process, then it's served a purpose.
Let it be. Let her believe what she wants. Try to find something you do agree with her, and put emphasis on that. Not permitting your sons to discover who she is, is not a rewarding decision. You can advise your sons not to bring up the subject of religion and ask your mother to avoid the subject. Do not be concerned if she lapses. Your relationship with your sons will be in the minds of your sons and they have to decide for themselves what to believe. If you try to control your mother or your sons, you might encounter resistance. Just let it be and let your mothers ideas be her own and expose your sons and mother to the love they deserve.
I don't think this was a matter of how you feel about it. He probably didn't care because it mattered none to him since he didn't believe that it would do anything to him. So if he was still happy to accept her as she believed, it probably didn't hurt anyone. I understand that she couldn't accept and honor his beliefs but maybe he could hers. This is the thing about persons who are religious they often can't respect those who don't believe and those who believe differently.
My father had a similar experience with his older brother who was converted on his death bed. Dad never had much use for religion for most of his life. While this was a despicable thing to do, don't let the hate consume you. Forgive, if it gives you peace, but don't let this woman have an emotional hold on you, even if it's anger.
I can understand not wanting your son exposed to religious doctrine when he's young I can also agree with it making you upset. I guess it comes down to wether or not you want your mom to be apart of your life in general. If you feel ultimately incompatible with her belief then fair. I can understand why she would do it and since atheism has no concept of blasphemy I couldn't be too angry. I know though that if certain members of my family forced their beliefs on someone I cared about I might be happier severing that relationship rather than continue to make excuses for it.
When I was a bub and my mum was visiting her dad and his 2nd wife she was talking to her and she said "oh by the way your father's baptising your son right now". She wasn't impressed, but in retrospect I don't really care, it's just a meaningless splash of water. I've heard some ministers say that it's meaningless if the person isn't aware of what is going on.
Hell no, you aren't wrong to be upset by what she did. She showed complete disrespect for your father, and his stated beliefs. She basically ignored everything but her own need to perpetuate her delusions. I'd have cut her out of my life, too, and I certainly wouldn't want her anywhere near my children. This kind of bullshit is another reason I have such little patience with religutards.
Their make believe rituals did nothing harmful to your dad. It might have given his wife some peace. Yeah, it was kind of intrusive, but people do stupid stuff when they're afraid or distraught. My advice is to let it go. Forgive her and move on. There is an old saying that not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So get the poison out of your system. Forgive her and move on.