That is exactly why people of faith bother me, it's all about them! It was all for her peace of mind. I completely understand why you are angry.

It depends on whether your dad cared more about preserving his identity or consoling her.. still Im of the opinion that he was exploited in a moment of weakness.. and I'm disgusted by such predatory behavior on the part of the theists.

My advice would be to let it go. It's a meaningless moment of time in the totality of your father's life. If nothing else, this serves as a good example in terms of why people should put their final wishes to paper. Had your dad done that - i.e., specifically stated that he didn't want to be baptized - it wouldn't have happened. This is the final decision that most people will make - what should be done as they're dying and after they die. If it matters, to me it doesn't, put it in writing.

It happened to my mum, she was and still is in care, our aunt did some nonsense over her knowing she is Jewish and disagrees with her belief. I told her daughter this was overstepping my mum,s rights! I had a twinge for a week but it dissolved, l give it a grain of sand in importance ,this is helpful to assign to crap in our lives.

Personally I wouldn't be upset. I try to have no discontent for religious people. To each his own. If it made her feel good then allow it and respect it. According to the "bible" etc a person has to make a self proclaimed repentance etc. Your father didn't do this on his own free will? So even if Christianity were true it wouldn't matter. But who cares. So many of us non believers have so much hate in us for religious sects that we live a sad life, never truly happy, always angry. I want to respect everyone's beliefs. Regardless if they respect mine. It makes life good.

U have a right to be upset in my opinion but punishing her by not seeing her grandkids is a little far I would tell her u can see them but any Christian talk or going against wat I say and u won't see them again. She has to respect u as u have to respect her. And if she doesn't then u take the rights to see her grandkids I know ur upset cos she had him baptized even tho u know ur dad would nvr want that. She still has rights to see kids until she over steps ur authority.. yes ur his daughter but she was married to him meaning she had rights to do wat she did.if that makes sense

Just let it go! It does not matter now. The only person you are hurting by holding on to this anger is yourself. Your Dad does not care and she does not care. I have learned that if others find comfort from following traditions, religious or not, let them. As long as it does not physically or mentally hurt the person. Let them do it.... and let it go.

What has it hurt? It’s not a question as to whether she’s right or wrong, but a question as to how she deals with her grief. Did he insist on not being baptized? If he was truly an atheist, then the baptism was meaningless anyway. This is fait accompli. I wouldn’t worry about it.

I doubt a few passes of the hand and sprinkle of holy water will make much difference to his eternal soul. The disturbing point is that she knew his standpoint. That is certainly disrespectful, probably not to your father as an atheist he probably wouldn't have bothered one way or another. But disrespectful to you as you knew your father's beliefs but were overtaken by her personal belief. My sympathies for you

It's not fair, nor is it really worth to carry the burden of the grudge. Just tell yourself the your dad's mind was Teflon covered..

She is an idiot who thinks a magic bath will make someone live forever, her delusion makes no difference to your Dad, laugh it off, all she has done is make a fool of herself.

Are you wrong to be upset? No. If it bothers you that's your business, but I think being upset about it serves no purpose. It's a harmless ritual. If she had refused medical treatment because "God will save him" or some such nonsense, then you'd have good cause to be upset. As it is, from here it seems you're only hurting yourself by holding on to this anger.

My ex-wife came to me after my parents passed and asked me to sign off on allowing their names to be submitted to the Morman temple so they could be baptised (by proxy) there. I said I didn't think that was a good idea since my parents both considered Joseph Smith the most dreadful lier to ever walk the earth. Sometimes we should leave people's spirits alone.

My wife died several years ago, so I understand grief and how we might deal with it. I understand your anger, but if it brought her peace I don't see the harm in it.

Sorry about your Dad. People do strange things sometimes in these circumstances and when emotions are high like they are when a loved one is about to cross the memories of events are forever burned in our minds I think. You are not wrong to be upset it's normal. I lost my husband last year to cancer and some of the behaviors of others will never be forgotten. I respected his wishes to the very end. He was a mason and wanted rites.

I kind of figure that if there is some omnipotent entity it should understand why we came to our thinking as we do.

You are not wrong to be angry. I would be angry, too.

No soul. No god. A guy in a uniform sprinkled water on him. I wouldn't worry about it, though the disregard for his belief (or lack thereoff) I find a bit disrespectful.

IMO, your dad’s beliefs are not compromised simply because his wife tries forcing her beliefs on his death bed. It is unfortunate she did but then again, death brings desperate people to cope in sometimes, controversial ways. Still, this gives her no right to force her beliefs on to him just to make herself feel better. Selfish, very selfish. Very disrespectful to him and his family.

It was her prerogative as his wife. Personally, I could care less what happens to me at the point of death as long as I don’t know about it. If he was conscious, that’s another story.

I think what she did was imposing her will on a sick man. What the hell is baptism going to do anyway? I mean, who the hell wants to meet a god who will forgive a pedophile or serial killer just because he got baptized, but will send a good soul to hell, just because he/she didn't accept god as the savior, or didn't have water spilled on his/her head? Is that the kind of god all these religious freaks want to meet?

If your father lived his entire life as an atheist then he should have been quite comfortable in his belief system. His wife betrayed his wishes to satisfy her own beliefs. You have every right to be upset by that.

So many people do things that they think the person who is dying would "want" them to do. In reality, you are right;it was more for her peace of mind than his. This is wrong....wrong....and wrong......For a person to have suffered through the aches and pains of cancer, and then have someone over ride their wishes is not only wrong, but is brutal and the wrong way to send a loved one off into the unknown. You said his wife, so I must assume that it was not your Mother. My father re-married after my Mom died at 50 years old and was sorry from the wedding day. Religion didn't enter into it, but I only mention it to assure you that no matter what is said in this life, after someone dies, his/her wishes are up for grabs, and that is dead wrong. Their wishes should be followed to the tee, regardless of how different they may be from what we would desire for ourselves I hope you are able to find peace within yourself.....for that is the only place that truly counts.

No, your mother disrespected your father and his belief system.

She didn't do it for him; she did it for her. Though it was a dick move, I would just let it go. There are better things to be pissed at (I'm sure).

By the way, my step-mother pretty much did the same thing to my dad. She filled the house with her conservative Christian friends and completely ignored his DNR. Was nothing us kids could do since we all live out of town/state from him.

I guess if it made her feel better, and we know it is all BS, what did it hurt? You and your sons know the truth, and you celebrate his life accordingly. I think he would have liked that you remember him as he truly was. It was just words, water and ritual. Meaningless things that give people a false sense of security. Those words held no power over him, so they rolled off like water off a duck's back.
Personally, I'd feel I was giving her and her god too much power to control me and my feelings that way. (not to say they are, just how I would feel) I would just give the ceremony the attention and the power it deserves - absolutely none.