A minister cannot save anyone's soul.....he can only lead one to the door....you have to choose to open it and go in......more than likely he had a moment of clarity talking to the minister and made his own choice........I don't think you should be angry with her.....she was doing what she thought best for him out of love......she was showing him real love......
It sounds like you have doubts of your own....we all do....even Christians at times doubt....nothing wrong with doubting......and like you said....if we were all wrong, then he is now in Heaven and at peace forever.......should put a big smile on your face and peace in your heart when you think of him there.

My sense is that baptism is only performed on those of unsound mind, and performed by those similarly afflicted.

Do yourself a favor and remember that what she did had absolutely no effect except to ease her own mind. Given that it sounds like you agreed with your Dad, keep your sons away from her. My bio dad "came to jesus" about 6 months before he died - total hypocrisy from a person best described as a sensualist up until his "conversion".

You're right to be angry. If it had been his wish to be baptized I would think he'd have done it before he couldn't make the decision for himself. As you stated, this was on going bout with cancer so it's not like he didn't have time to decide. I suspect your suspicion is correct and his wife deliberately took advantage of his state of mind.

How disrespectful to ride roughshod across a man's beliefs and wishes for personal gain , using his failing health and illness to override his lifes direction . I feel sure he would have taken exception if consciously given the choice , this for me is not the actions of ones lifelong friend and companion and is shallow and decietful

Yeah, obviously she doesn't really care about the truth. Who cares about her?

Yes, you made an issue, where it is clear why it happened and it made no difference in the final result. I consider super religious people superstitious and these types of people don't bother us otherwise. I agree, some take it to extremes and tend to create arguments every where they go, but in our inner being we are much farther ahead of them mentally and accept the fact they have a position that can clearly be proven inapplicable to most problems in life. Always be kind especially toward family, that will mean more to them than separation. I constantly help family members with problems, and they depend on me for that and say how can you be so giving being an atheist. I love to hear that.

No, you re not wrong. She didn't respect your father....In fact, her actions were an insult to him and to his memory.

Well first off.......don't b on the fence........u can't say u don't believe in god and heaven u don't think well mayb there is something when u die ......u either believe or don't believe........simple.....it made her feel good so b it.....and the jesus freaks always have 2 b so dramatic when somebody dies
No u die u don't know it its like falling asleep and not waking up.......the only ppl ur dead r alive and they r sad........the only reason u know ur alive is bcause u woke up after being asleep.........and u don't know ur dead.........

For me this would be a dilemma of the unnecessary manufacture of suffering. Your suffering seems to be the regret that your mother did this and also that your relationship with her has been soiled as a result. Ultimately, you might like to ask yourself what real harm has been done? Additionally, you could look at owning your feelings and glancing at the irony of you removing your mother from your life because she did something that you disapproved of to feed her ego and now you are doing something to feed your ego? Nonetheless, it is tricky and I would hazard a guess that this is not the only reason that your relationship with her has soured. Kindly, Tim.

if you tell children a fairy tale and they believe it, even in the slightest; maybe it helps psychologically because its such a nice way to show your emotions without doing anything drastic.

I was "religious" for about a week when I was 5 yo. But much later I sang in a church choir and I enjoyed the community part of the experience - esp since people were totally cool with me sticking to my beliefs.

if at the last it made your father feel the least bit better then great and in a way we all are wrong both sides the only thing i think i know is i don't know i don't think theirs a god it's more complicated than our little primate minds can think of

I would be pissed...She might be right, but that's no reason to deny how he felt for his whole life just because she wants to be comfortable. There isn't a ritual for becoming an Atheist, but if there was, how would she feel if someone did it to her on her death bed? It's completely and utterly disrespectful.

I also can't stand the when the Mormons go to grave sites to baptize dead people. Talk about no respect for the dead and their families.

In this country, we are supposed to have freedom of/from religion, even in death.

Be happy she’s out of your lives. She sounds intrusive.

Not of sound mind? Let's assume he was unconcious and stayed that way until he died. In that case, and assuming he didn't have specific instructions against being baptized, I say, what the hell. Let him be baptized. If the Xtian God exists, there are good scriptural reasons for the baptism not taking.

On principle, it is demeaning and hurtful that she would force her beliefs onto another so SHE could feel better. That is a hallmark of the devout. You have every right to be angry. On the other hand, this one act in and of itself had to negative impact to your father's situation. I can't say the same is true for other religiously motivated unnecessary hurdles her religiosity may have placed at other times in your life. You may likely be actually upset at this historical pattern of behavior.
Death and tragedy is where we are at our most vulnerable. It's natural to doubt the nature of reality, everyone is afraid of the nothingness. Especially religious people. We who can accept that there is nothing are more mentally strong. Those who cannot handle the idea of death need to comfort themselves with the idea of immortality. I would encourage you to not give in to the fear of the unknown and be strong in your grip on reality. In the end, the choice is up to you based on what you can handle psychologically and emotionally. Being an atheist is not for everyone, especially when surrounded by so much messaging about a happily ever after.

Your dads wishes needed to be kept.

You should be upset. She obviously had a complete disregard for his opinion in reference to her beliefs. There is no way to be happy about that as he would have likely pissed off her irrational god at those pearly gates.

Seen this happen to my grandfather
It was terrible

Hedging bets aye!?! Seen this happen before, sad. Follow your heart!

This was an awful thing to do to him. I’d be pissed off if someone did that to me or any of my other atheist friends.

I think she was definitely wrong to do this to him while he couldn't resist and she knew it would be against his wishes.
I also think you hit it right on the head when you said you think she did it for her own peace of mind.
Fear drives religion, fear of dying, fear of hell, fear of the unknown etc. People will do strange things to appease their gods.

Very Pissed

Not at all I have cut many people out of my life for pushing their delusional beliefs. Those types are rude, arrogant, and a royal pain in the ass causing far more stress in your life than they are worth...