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Does age matter to you when it comes to love or dating?

Follow up questions: Does age play a part in what you look for in a partner? Also do you feel a wider age gap poses issues?

BohoHeathen 8 July 3
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72 comments

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5

Depends on the person and what life experiences they have. Each generation brings different things to the relationship. My experience is that 15 years younger is about the limit for me. I haven't had a relationship with anyone more that about 5 years older than me...15 years older would probably mean they are dead...not into that at all.

Now you're just being picky. What with requiring a heartbeat and all. ?

@CeliaAnne agree...also depends what you want out of the relationship, since there are so many facets...oddly, the younger ones have not been problematic...the one 15 years my junior is currently my favorite

@CeliaAnne you are too funny! lol But then, you are also nearly 20 years my junior...😉

1

It does. I think 10 years on either side of my own age is fine, but anything more would be awkward for different reasons. Issues that would arise with younger than that are obvious. With older it begins to look like you're only with them for the life insurance... lol

0

I won’t date someone as old or older than my mother.

Lol yeah that's a laugh too. I have a 39 year old daughter. How awkward would it be for her if I were in a relationship with someone close to her age? As it is her husband is only about 10 years younger than me, and having a son-in-law that old is awkward enough.

@mordant Ha...well you can just tell her "you started it by marrying someone my age". Sorry I couldn't resist

5

Every factor can have consequences, negative or positive, but human relationships are too potentially complex to make general rules. One negative might be outweighed by two positives. I would rather assess a situation by its own unique qualities.

skado Level 9 July 3, 2018

Ditto!

0

Everyone is different. I've dated both older and younger women, with age gaps as high as ten years. I can't say that I cared so much about the numbers as how we connected.

Yes but it is very hard to connect when the person you are dating has no idea what you are talking about !!

@Riki64 Well.... People rarely understand what I'm talking about any way.... Lol

1

I don’t think it really matters if two people are genuinely attracted to each other, but I have to say that there is something so very comforting about someone your own age relating to you on many
Miscellaneous areas from childhood to young adulthood. (I.e. movie quotes, sayings, one hit wonder lyrics etc etc)

@Exterminis I feel this way talking to people only 5 years younger

0

No,what about you.

2

Age doesn't matter. Its where you both are in life. One may be quite settled and likes the quieter tranquil side of life and the other might be up for continuous socializing amongst others etc.

If you are both patient with each other and are accepting without conditions then age doesn't matter imho.

According to Gail Sheehy's book, where one is in life is likely to change at the 10-year mark, which would result in "where one is in life" becoming different from one's partner resulting in divorce. I cannot remember which 10-year segment of time she said it happens, but at some point, a person will come to question the choice they made as to a mate and it seems to me that a significant difference in age would exacerbate that. Note: My second wife was 12 years younger (she pursued me) than myself. I observed her question her lifestyle of married with three children (when she hit thirty) and could relate it to Sheehy's thesis. She pined for her previous life of promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol and eventually returned to that lifestyle. But do not weep for me, I graduated college at 43 and moved on without her. I am now 75 and have been married to my 77 year-old wife for about (?) 25 years.

1

Sure. I don’t date anyone below the age of 18.

0

I think it depends on the people.

I dated a guy 6 yrs younger than who brought up our age difference every single time we saw each other. So it clearly bothered him.

I have dated men with a 10 year difference and age was not a factor.

I think compatibility plays more of a factor than age.

My ex is now 37 and from another country. I'm 72 and feel that age had very little to do with our differences and why we are not together today. One exception was our concept of money, but that can happen to a couple who are the same age.

0

Maybe I don't know I know that at the end of life it can make quite a difference I see many very old couples where the woman is much younger than the husband and she still very active and wanting to be a part of life and he's so old that he's trying to remember to change his attends so I think the problems that you might have would show up at the end of your life

I think those gorgeous, young women with old, decrepit men are just along for the money. There are always exceptions of course. Just my demented opinion of course, flimsy though it may be.

2

I have dated women 10 years younger than me, and women who were 22 years older than me. I'm only interested in how our personalities work together.

0

I'm just me as I always was but trapped in an older body now. This causes me to have an attraction to younger women today even if I once had a partner who was much older. I feel that women my age are concerned with grandkids and things. By contrast I find that women younger than 35 usually have no realistic ideas on housing. I do "young man things" but not as younger people do them today. What I do is like I always did it in my time.

I tend to find that men my age are stoic, stubborn, sexist, and often racist who are afraid to leave their macho driven world of old. So I can relate to your statement about women your age who are only interested in 'grandkids and things'....

3

I don't like dating people more than 10 years older or more than 5 years younger.

0

Love doesn't care about age. Relationships perhaps but really I think it is most important to do what makes you feel good/happy.
Your happiness should be the top priority in nearly every decision you make

0

Can they keep up? And do t hey make me laugh & want to dance?....age is irrelevant......

Not really , I am very fit for my age and that is a big determining factor , I really hit it off with a woman 25 years my JR once we really made each other laugh a lot , that is what I gage my ideal companion on sense of humor ! Making each other laugh is so fundamental !!!

0

I personally think it's gross when there is too much of an age difference. Like when a man in his mid 40s in a relationship with someone in their twenties. I can't get the idea that he's old enough to be her dad out of my mind. I had a 45 year old male friend that was living with a 22 year old. His daughter was 17. To me, it's just really wrong. In my 20s, I remember getting hit on by men in their 40s and all I could think about how gross it was because they were around the age of my own dad.

0

Half your age plus seven

4

Age has never been an issue for me. Connection matters much more. My husband is 14+ years older than I am. We have been together for over 18 years.

1

I don't think that is that big of a deal, but yes I do think that it can come with problems, such as people being at different points in their life. This can also come with people of the same age as well, but I think less often.

1

Yes and Yes. I only date people very close to my age. Studies show that men who have romantic partners 16 years younger than they are live longer than men with partners the same age.

But cougar women who marry younger men die much earlier than women who marry within a year of their own age.

Men live longer when they marry younger spouses. Why don't women? [theguardian.com]

2

This is a recurring question. A person much younger than me would have to be the one pursuing since I would automatically assume she was too young for me. I tend to gravitate toward women around my age. That being said, I’ve noticed several 60+ women who I find myself attracted to.

0

I’d say it’s more about life experience, rather than age, when it comes to maturity and understanding. Age can be a factor in that. And based on my experience, it has been the case. Not to say correlation is necessarily causation, but I try to keep it within the 5 year range. Give or take a couple more/ less.
Wider gaps does seem to pose issues more than not.

0

Yes and yes. I've never had success with dating anyone more than 10 years younger. Seems appealing at first but I think many of them are out for money and / or a dad for their kids... I don't like dating women older than me. I get along best with women about 7 years younger, empty nesters or about to be or child-free...

There has to be a chemical / physical connection as well as an intellectual connection. Large age gaps tend to surface generational differences as well as different levels of life experience and wisdom.

But hey, whatever works for you.

1

No it doesn't, as long as it is legal ?

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