You sound like the better parent, however not knowing the laws of your state it is difficult to know what the biases are. You should consult a lawyer again. But if the lawyer said it is doable, I'd want to do it.

Getting full custody is really, really difficult these days. I didn't believe it but I certainly experienced it. Unless the other parent is basically shooting heroin in front of your kid, judges these days want both parents to have custody. That is true around here anyway. And it was a humbling and painful process to go through, especially to not succeed.

You can have a separation agreement put in place and if both parties are cooperative, it won't cost a fortune. Mediators are good for this kind of thing too.

Even with full custody, it does not necessarily take time away from the other parent. My goal was to have decision making authority without having to agree on anything with my ex, because he basically will fight anything I think is best for our kid (he is autistic so there are a lot of decisions we have to make for his care). My ex also wants to turn my son against me and my parents, just out of anger that I left and just to hurt me. He doesn't understand he's hurting his son.

This kind of stuff is tough.

No. You type too much. I have full custody of mine and I didn’t do shit.

My girls were adults when their dad and I divorced, so I can’t address the custody issue. I am, however, a cheerleader for the collaborative divorce process. It’s far cheaper than litigation and the focus is on preserving respectful relationships among the divorcing partners. It will only be an option for you if your state allows it and if she is willing to agree not to go to court.

I think the best thing for a child is to have 50/50 time with both parents. (unless one parent is doing illegal drugs or putting the child in harm in anyway) And that is how the court sees it as well. Quite frankly what she does at her moms is none of your concern, you can only be a super dad and try to make up for while she is with you. I guarantee your soon to be ex thinks she is doing right by your daughter giving her a religious upbringing! In the future your daughter will have both options to choose from- whichever way comforts her more in her adult life. It doesn’t matter our opinions of our ex’s choices in life, it will only make you crazy & unhappy if you obsess over it! I’ve been divorced 8 years with 50/50 custody and it took me a long time to learn this lesson. Just be the best you can be when she is with you. Teach her, talk to her and love her to pieces.

Men should ask for custody more often. These days you are actually likely to get it if you ask. The problem is a lot of men don’t ask. (I qualify this statement that this is variable depending on where you live).

I say go for it. Kids need both their parents. The default should be 50/50 not whole custody to mom.

Sorry you married a psycho

You should do what's best for your daughter. And based on your description, it's not even a close contest.

Interview attorneys, ask their advice but have all your questions ready so you do not go over an hour. You could probably get joint physical and legal custody. Document all you have done, including bills you pay, alimony and child support paid. I don't know how long you were married but you may not be required to pay alimony. I do t think you can do this without an attorney. And unfortunately, giving a child and IPad to use while she prays will probably not be seen as a usive, tbough I think it is not good parenting!

While "get a lawyer" is usually good advice, there are some follow up points to consider... Which I learned the hard way.

I am not a lawyer, just someone who has been fighting his own legal battles.

1. Don't blindly trust your lawyer, do your own research, get second & third opinions. Don't stick with a lawyer who doesn't seem to be fighting on your behalf.

2. always, always, always get transcripts of every hearing... and learn & obey the law about recording phone calls (Federal and Ohio law is single party consent... )

3. Guardian ad Litems... if they're not meeting the children face to face on a regular basis, don't trust them.

4. Use a court admissible message/calendar service to coordinate with your ex... "Our Family Wizard" has been a (dare I say) "God Send"

To tell you how bad my case has been, after my lawyer deliberately threw the final hearing (didn't show at all for first of two days, didn't file to reschedule, didn't object to hearsay & self-contradictory testimony from my ex and her witness, didn't try to call any of the 12 subpoenaed witnesses for me, etc, etc) I've been ProSe (self represented / no lawyer). Half the witnesses under subpoena to testify on my behalf, were to respond to the false statements and claims of the Guardian ad Litem.

Without using a lawyer, I've successfully argued "Contempt of Visitation", to where my ex was given three days jail time... yes, she's that bad.

And her conduct today at the County Fair, when I tried to see my son's fair projects, was on par with when she got the jail time.

In my case we went through mediation -much cheaper and quicker, and then had lawyers for settling the financial stuff. A skilled mediator can outline the realities you face -laws, child's rights, etc. May blow a hole or two in your ego, but better than holes in both your ego and wallet.

Full custody. Would if truly be for the betterment of your child or would you be using the child in some way to punish your ex? Most fights of this nature have very little to do with the children and it can come back later in life to bite you in the ass.

I have had dealings with someone in the "system" in Illinois, and from what I understand, the courts are fairly stringent there; my advice would be to seek counsel from an attorney again. Since you are not divorced legally yet, you still need to protect yourself, and prove to the court that your main concern is your daughter, and her welfare and her future. It seems that your wife, as you have said, is using your daughter as a pawn, and you need to take that out of the equation, and make it strictly about your daughter's well being.

Kids need both parents. This also depends on your state laws. Florida defaults at 50/50. I have 78/22 mostly because my ex took a job 130 miles away before the divorce. I do everything I can to make sure the kids see their mom. It’s not their fault she moved away.

Dude. Get a grip. No court is going to grant full custody based on what you have written here. The kid needs both parents. She is feeling attacked hence the "get a judge" comments. The kid needs downtime. My son comes home from his time with his dad completely knackered. I want to do something fun with him, but see his need to relax and don

It's a tough situation, but you are not alone in that there are literally thousands of parents who are feeling the same way. Family law almost always looks for fair and balanced time with both parents, regardless of parenting strategies/philosophies so long as one parent is not engaging in abuse/neglect or otherwise stunting the wellbeing of the child. It's always a good thing when two parents can work it out between themselves and then present an agreed order before a judge. Judges loves that. It's much less work and much less trauma for the child. Not everyone has that luxury. Still, even in those cases, many parents find themselves in strong disagreement with other parent's choices. I can tell you that from a judge's perspective in family court, none of that matters in terms of conservatorship status so long as the child is not being abused or neglected. Instilling Christian values and lacking engagement or structure does not rise to this level. What you can do, however, is request that the judge order certain activities for your daughter, and that your time with her is fair and equal.
It is almost never an ideal situation, but in divorce cases, you do have to pick your battles - and battles you can win. If you don't already have an order outlining custody arrangements and who's responsible for what, then I would highly encourage getting one to protect your rights. All the best to you.

How old is your daughter and what does she want? I started as a weekend only dad and the kids eventually (quickly actually) extended that to Thursday night to Monday morning. Both moved in with me full time as soon as they were old enough for after school jobs (I lived in a town with work within walking distancess, she lived in the boonies)Which they wanted.Ifyou daughter is over 12, I'd wager any Court decision would depend on what she wanted, safety etc., being equal. Twothings to remember -neither of you can win by forcing her to do what she doesn't want to andas nice as parks/zoos etc. are you'regoing to end up doing a lot fo at home parenting. Finally, never bad mouth her mother in front of her. Ever.

Why do you even have to ask?

First and fore most I would deffinetly speak with a lawyer, most will give a free consult and a little advice.

I have gone through and am going through some of the same stuff, and honestly having representation has saved a lot of headaches. When she tries to pull some crap you can always revert to the paremting plan, and if she continues she can be found in contempt of court.

My advice when dealing with stuff like this is always cover your butt legally. And no you are never selfish for wanting what is best for your child.

No special knowledge here, but church going and prayers are a big plus in many cases and her lawyers will make her look a saint and make you look a risk.
Hire a lawyer to enforce 50/50 visitation rights, keep the narrative of putting the child and mother first and keep looking reasonable. Document the time and activity you have and do with your child. If she violates the agreement, serve her. Communication by lawyer only. Be patient- give your child quality experience and education and let her mother, mother the way she does. The child will choose you as the main carer, when they are older. Never speak badly of the mother in front of the child. The mother will appear unreasonable and unkind - document everything negative she tells your child about you. This will all help if you then move to the next step of full custody.

No special knowledge here, but church going and prayers are a big plus in many cases and her lawyers will make her look a saint and make you look a risk.
Hire a lawyer to enforce 50/50 visitation rights, keep the narrative of putting the child and mother first and keep looking reasonable. Document the time and activity you have and do with your child. If she violates the agreement, serve her. Communication by lawyer only. Be patient- give your child quality experience and education and let her mother, mother the way she does. The child will choose you as the main carer, when they are older. Never speak badly of the mother in front of the child. The mother will appear unreasonable and unkind - document everything negative she tells your child about you. This will all help if you then move to the next step of full custody.

Go for it! Your daughter deserves the better life.

Single father here. I had joint custody for most of the time my kids were growing up. My ex-wife had primary custody of both kids at first, but my daughter came to live with me shortly after the divorce.

I made a big mistake accepting the custody arrangement as their mother's only interest was in collecting child support, and she played the system really well to make sure that her reported income was far lower than mine.

At any rate, what I'm getting at is that that initial investment in a lawyer would have saved me on $4,000 - 10,000 per year over 12 years. Obviously, the benefit to my kids would have been more important, but the money you spend on a lawyer is more of an investment in your child than an expenditure.

Did you ever thing your ex wife might be doing more at home then you give her credit for doing?
Did you ever stop to think that your ex wife might be suffering from depression? Your daughter is not void of emotions. She will worry about her mother and miss her mother. Activities and distractions are not a substitute for her mother.
You haven't said one flattering comment about your ex wife. You did say some flattering things about yourself. You bought her a house. Well she gave you a baby. You don't hear her reminding you of that ever chance she gets do you?
Showing respect towards your daughter mother will prove more beneficial in your daughters life then a day at the library.
I suggest going back to the drawing board and start co parenting in a more humane way.
I don't mean to be disrespectful but merely present some hard truth.

Should we assume that the estrangement between you and your wife has something to do with the difference in your religious orientation? I would offer that you seek out a process called a "Circle of Trust" (http://www.couragerenewal.org/approach/) Also, <iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="[w.soundcloud.com];