It is an unnecessary question. If the 2 people don’t find each other attractive and the sex isn’t satisfying, then there is no basis for a romantic relationship.

Perhaps some people are looking for Platonic relationships?

Guess I'll be the old fashioned person here. I'd like to get to know someone a bit, like probably in person, before discussing sexual preferences. I mean, seriously, I'd like to find out if someone is compatible in so many ways that can only be determined by getting to know someone. If the chemistry is there, the sexual compatibility will be there. I've never thought that choosing a mate should be like checking off a list of qualities and activities. Of course that is the real problem with online dating. It's an attempted shortcut that can never really substitute for actually getting to know someone. I understand that it is difficult to make connections in this day and age, particularly for the agnostic community and especially for us older folks, so we do use online, but still, it is very limited. What I like about this site is that there seem to be avenues to get to know people.

I also have trouble with the question about sex in the activities section. If I list sex as a hobby, does that mean I am interested in hanging out at sex clubs or interested in screwing a new guy a week? If it is in reference to relationships, then it needn't be there since (as someone else put it) duh, most everyone is interested in sex within the context of a relationship. If someone holds an extreme position on sex, maybe they should just mention it in their profile.

As others have said, sexual compatibility is a lot more than your individual drive.

True fetishes where someone cannot orgasm without the stimuli are fairly rare and if the other isn't into that there's always therapy, I'd suggest a Certified Sex Therapist.

Maybe I'm naive here, but IME while sex is essential, if everything else is going well then sex also goes well. Even if one person isn't in the mood, it's usually easy to get turned on bc the person you care about is hot and wants to turn you on.

If your lover really wants to do something and they're not selfish, then you should make them happy. If what you want absolutely disgusts them, then your respect for and concern for them should win out over your desires.

Communication is essential, I've actually adopted some of the religious teachings on healthy sexuality I had in seminary where open, non-judgmental dialog is critical. If someone is unhappy with sex, it needs to be discussed thoroughly and without judgment from either party. There shouldn't be any topics that are totally closed off IMO and that includes things in the bedroom, but just bc people discuss fantasies, that doesn't mean they have to play them all out.

Did you ever flash your tits in public? (Mardi Gras beads)
Do you like or love anal sex?
Do you swallow cum?
Would you go to a swingers party.
Ever had a threesome?
Ever fucked a person from another race?

If your answer to these questions is no way, never or I'm not going to answer that then we're done here. If you're not mature enough to answer these common experiences honestly then you and I certainly wouldn't be compatable. This is life not a guessing game.

I'm open to add sex-related questions such as "Do you have a high, moderate or a low sex drive?" or even "What are you into? oral, sex, anal, bdsm, toys, role play, fetish" ... and only show the answers to people who have also filled them out.

I think you’re right. Another way to put it is: are you (a ) (1) Nymphomaniac, (2) Normal or (3) Frigid.
?

I think they are both important. No guy will ever be able to match my drive. However, if you think sex once a week is enough or you only like gentle sex, you don't give oral....we're not going to work. ? Also I wish this site would add all kinds of questions like OkCupid.

The way I took the question is if one of you is more sexual or less sexual would that be means to end the relationship.

[] cunnilingus [] falashio
[] Coitus ( sub category ) [] any thing in the Kama Sutra goes. [] only missionary [] doggie style is a must
[] Fetish
So it needs some detail, just throwing a suggestion.

I think the question is intentionally vague. I've seen other users who were concerned about the responses they might get if they indicate they are open to sex. But it's also about more than just how active your sex drive is. Your preferences, fetishes, orientation, etc. all factor into your compatibility.

Drive will vary over time due to a number of factors. I believe commitment is much more important over the long term than compatible drive levels.

For me sexual intimacy, curiosity, and libido are important but other things need to be a good fit, like common interests, enjoying being with each other, , intellectually stimulating, and having h fun are needed to feel the connection and desire to explore sexuality together. Even though I was sexually compatible with my last partner wouldnt mean I want that as this is a new person and it will be new and expansive to choreograph our uniwue experience. I would rather have a blank canvas to create all of the relationship instead of use past ones for a checklist of what I want now. I need a break between relationships to get in touch again as just me. Anytime I or the new partner
has been fresh out of a prior relationship or seems that way mentally ( still bitter or blaming the other partner, it isnt a clean slate to create on. The partner loving sex helps too, as there are some who don't seem to.

Many of the questions for building a profile on this site do little justice to actually get to know someone, like including "sex" as an option for something one enjoys... Well, duh! We're f-n humans, of course we like sex, but after checking that box, I was like: "wait, what? Does that make me sound like a pig?"...

As far as compatibility goes, that is case by case, and in how two people evolve with each other (for the sake of argument, I am using "two" as the beginning standard). Compatibility isn't always smooth on the first go round, but that doesn't mean that it won't get better.

I use this site for community, I have never done online dating, but the whole "what do you enjoy?" question cracks me up, because my answer would be "smoking, drinking, fucking" - not that I have a problem with long walks on the beach - as long as they result in fucking, smoking, and drinking... Maybe I'm too honest

is your Kinky Syncy?

I think compatibility is purposefully vague because what is compatible for one person might not be the same for another and part of the relationship process is to figure that out. If there is no chemistry, why bother going any further by asking if your date is into bondage, anal sex, or whatever. Drive has nothing to do with compatible interests, but you are correct, frequency can be an issue. Sex once a week might be acceptable to some; sex three times a day for others. Interesting question you pose...

Yes, I also thought that was an odd question. Of course sexual compatibility would be important, whether the couple was in agreement that never or frequent is best. But then I thought maybe the question is geared toward matching up answers to related data collected such as gender identity and sexual preferences, as well as goals for who you'd like to meet, friends, dating or hookups, etc.

Maybe the question should be more like "how important is intimacy to you" or "are you seeking an intimate partner, intellectual mate, friend, companion or some/all of the above?" I would think that every relationship is different and sexual appetite might depend on what is being served. So degree or frequency would depend on the chemistry between the partners.

I believe that it is important to be satisfied or sexually fulfilled because if you are lacking the things that you need to be happy and you can't make someone else happy! For example if you don't like what you are watching on TV you change the channel, if you don't like a book you are reading you find a new book. And the same will happen with sex, if you aren't having enough or it isn't satisfying then you will eventually find it with someone else!

Has anyone actually answered that question with a no? I'd like to hear the reasons behind it. Curious minds would like to know.

I agree. It would be useful to include that question: 'Do you have a High, Moderate, Low sex drive?'

Of course, sometimes it fluctuates.

I don't think it helps to call those who don't value sexual compatibility 'inexperienced' or 'uncaring'.

To.me compatibility isnt as much drive, as it is to being into the same things sexually.

It could be phrased you like dick,minge, both or neither ? That should cover all bases

Granted if people are interested they canh lern wht their partner likes and thus become sexually compatible. However, I had had partners who were only concerned with their own gratification.

Perhaps the question should be "Do you think it is important for your sexual partner(s) to enjoy sex as much as you do yourself?" But, would a selfish person answer that honestly?

Just completely do away with the question.

I think the question should be "How flexible are you in your own sexual practices in being able to meet a potential partner's needs?" As you indicated, most people want sexual compatibility. But the real question is how far are you willing to go in order to achieve "compatibility"? One might have never experienced anything other than missionary sex which on the face of it could lead a potential partner who has been down the BDSM road to think that there is no chance for compatibility. Knowing how "adventurous" a potential partner might be is much more informative than just comparing compatibility or drive levels.

Perhaps it should be something like "Rate yourself on these three aspects of sex on a scale of 1 to 10. How adventurous do you think you are?, How high is your sex drive?, How important is emotional intimacy to your desire for sexual relations?"

I think this would make a much better starting point for the discussion about compatibility.