I think men's identities are often built around their occupation. sometimes that could lead to the question because ain't everybody's....jk.... or they're thinking about money, or they're genuinely curious, or desperately non-creative conversationalists....idk.

I’m sure glad I am not in the market as I would probably be someone to ask that question. It does tell a person a lot about the other person as they spend a large proportion of their time doing whatever their occupation is. I guess you could ask about hobbies or tastes in food or whatever but if something like this is a no-no I would be afraid to ask anything.

you could tell him you run a vasectomy clinic. start rummaging in your purse for some coupons.

Most people have some passion for how they make money. It's an easy conversation starter with total strangers even when dating isn't an option.

Some people like judging and classifying others. If I think that's what's going on, I claim to be an entrepreneur and enjoy the eye rolls.

I've had dates who were likely burnt by free loaders quickly ask about my job on the first date, I get that and my response varies depending on how the questions are asked and how I think the date is going.

For people who really pay attention there are other things to talk about. People's clothes, their reactions...can tell a lot about them. I often have random books, so that's an easy conversation starter that doesn't involve qualifying my character based on income.

"What would your reason be for asking a woman what she does for a living, upon meeting her?" - Well, i wouldn't initially ask a woman that, - unless she brings it up herself. Occupation may be how many men define themselves (not how i personally operate), but i am confident that most men do not measure a woman's attractiveness by what they do. (Let's face it, this is often gagued by her physical beauty to the man). If, in your personal experience this is an ongoing approach that men who you meet engage you in, i would preceive that you are surrounding yourself with men that might view you as competition in relationship to finnincial earnings. It could also be argued that if this is a man's approach to continuing a dialog with a woman it is out of lack of his own imagination to continnue much of a conversation with her.

I always laugh and say enjoy life! I then go into this philosophical conversation about that phrase. "What so we so for a living" I'm confused. I'm pretty sure I could survive in this world just living by the beach and doing nothing. Do we live to work? Or work to live? Or are you asking me what do I do to earn the funds to get what i want? I want to understand the purpose of this question. I never ask this question. I want to know about HOW a person lives their life and why.

As a rule, I don't ask a woman I've just met what she does for a living until I've gotten to know her better. It will come up eventually in conversation, but at that point I think my impression of her as a person would supersede a general view of her career. Also, I believe some of my occupational biases are positive. For example, I'm the son of a teacher, so I tend to consider educators hard-working and dedicated.

It's really not that important to me what a woman does for a living I prefer that she is self-reliant but other than that it's not really my business right off the bat it also helps if it's not some form of career that does not allow you any time for personal relationships i

Just gives something to talk about

I don't ask right away if l ask at all. I've known men and women for 5 or 6 years here and l have no idea what they do for a living.

It's not a question I generally jump to, unless there's a reason (such as she says the reason we may not have met before is that she normally works nights). I think it's just generally a good small-talk, non-closed question which focuses the attention on the other person while you're scrabbling around to think of something better to say.
Sometimes the answer is truly interesting and opens into great conversation, or they may say something like "I'm an operating system marketing co-ordinator for small manufacturing companies", in which case I will forget it immediately and could end up marrying the person without ever needing to know another thing about her job.
Whatever she does, the way she answers will probably tell you a lot more than the answer itself.

I think it says a lot about what sort of human you are really and how well suited you would be to me. I couldn't give a flying fuck about what you earn at all. I'm interested in every aspect for real and might be really interested if you did something I liked but had never tried. I'm an artist myself so I think that says I'm easy going, friendly and good with my hands perhaps. I think its more a matter of why you ask rather than if you ask.

Another thought-provoking question posed by you, Athena. Why am I not surprised? I think a woman's occupation could be a starting point for a "getting to know you" conversation but doesn't have to be. I don't know why so many guys start off in that manner with you. There are so many interesting facets about your personality. Your occupation would be just one beginning point. But if a guy saw the way you write or heard you speak (I'll have to imagine this "heard you speak" point for obvious reasons), then in my biased opinion they should go down a plethora of different avenues in pursuit of getting to know you. That would be my observation of the very-insightful you in particular. In general, I think it may be nervousness or habitual or just really important to guys who open up conversation with women this way. I guess it's really up to the individual guy.

I think it's a fall-back, a way to find something to talk about. I don't usually go there unless she brings it up. I'd rather find out who someone is before I ask how they pay their bills.

I did notice you phrased it "what do you do for a living?" People usually ask "what do you do?" When I get the question without the living part, my stock answer is "mostly make inappropriate comments."

Good question. A couple of reasons:

-Habit
-A conversation starter, a good jumping-off point to more questions and conversation.

In early conversations I am trying to determine a few things: Is she smart? Interesting? Is there something special, grabs my interest? Is this someone I am going to learn from? Occupation can help determine some of this.

It can also serve as a quick eliminator. There are some occupations I avoid.

Curiosity?

As a window into their daily life..to see if there are any commonalities between our work lives..
They may do work that you find very interesting..
It's more an implicit curiosity about the person's life than specifically the actual job...its entirely normal and innocent..is it not?

I don't see how expressing an interest in an important part of a person's life should be threatening. Or even, particularly, how you can avoid it coming up fairly quickly in any relationship the objective of which is to ascertain compatibility for long-terms intimacy.

I do know that outside of the US, total strangers meeting for any purpose tend to regard questions about what you do for a living to be intrusive and boorish, whereas to Americans it's pretty near the first question we ask. So from this, I deduce that at least in the US, a lot of the reason men ask the question is that they have been socialized to do so in a variety of contexts and they tend to regard it as a "safe" and acceptable conversation-starter. And let's face it, men are insecure and nervous about meeting and impressing new people, same as anyone, whether or not they admit to it. So they are going to gravitate to what they know to do.

When I asked this question of a date, I would not have been stereotyping. I would probably factor the answer into a rather complex calculus that includes many other factors. There's a big difference between women who have seldom worked, who do low-level work, executive level, professional level ... these things imperfectly signal ambition, curiosity, education, intelligence or lack thereof, but at the same time I would not assume for example that a stay at home mother was dumb or incurious or unlearned or that a successful professional was smart and educated. It would have to be factored in with other things.

I think both sexes do this somewhere along the way. I find it interesting if the initial question leads to finding out how a person got into their job, what it took etc. The stories behind the choice often show more about the person that the actual way they make a living now. I have met people who have flipped their initial jobs into something else; People who have been in a career all their lives because they love it; People who are working hard and getting no where. I do get asked that question a lot...I think mainly because I don't fit the stereotype of what people think an accountant is...usually when I tell a person, I end up picking up the tab and calculating the tip (JUST KIDDING!)...it really doesn't matter to me as long as there are other things that make us compatible. Love reading everybody's views on this as well...

It’s an exchange of information, small talk. ...if the answer is stunt pilot as apposed to baker it tells me allot, one would make me fat and the other nauseous

Becuase I would expect her to ask me. I’m in the military and that means a lot going into a relationship.

If you just meet someone, the topics available for conversation are limited. This question opens up some avenues for conversation. That's about it. If you find you are both involved in similar or related fields, this can make the first meeting more interesting.

I ask the question to help feel out an understanding of their identity. It’s not to pigeonhole a person, but to find out who they are. That’s also very typical of male-to-male introductions.

As a man I generally hear it before we would even meetso what's the problem

Well let me say I'm a sales men.. One of the best topics for getting interpersonal with your coustomer is asking their occupation.. It lets you know many things about the person, one of them being just how open they are. It is a great conversation starter and a tactic taught by sales men.