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MEN: What would your reason be for asking a woman what she does for a living, upon meeting her?

I'm always sensitive to how men feel being asked this question right away by women. I don't ask, and I'm much more interested in learning other things about a man before knowing his occupation.

Imagine you've just met a woman, briefly discuss the weather and she asks, "So, what do you do for a living?"

I find men do this very often and I'd like to understand why, from a man's perspective. Is it that it's very important to you, or that you don't know what else to ask, or is it that you think you'll learn about her more quickly, by knowing? If so, would you be stereotyping? Has anyone made certain assumptions about you that were incorrect, based on occupational stereotypes?

Examples: Lawyers are dishonest; Investment bankers are ruthless; models are airheads; artists are flaky; construction workers are not that smart; accountants are boring..

Women are welcome to comment! I am just curious to know the motive behind men asking this question right away.

*I'm adding to this, as I'm getting a lot of "Just curious" replies which I don't believe addresses the question. Why are you curious? What will it tell you, that you need to know, in the first few seconds of meeting someone?

*Thank you all for your replies!

Athena 8 July 8
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144 comments (76 - 100)

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2

I think just to have something to talk about

0

Artists are flaky? LOL I resemble that.

1

I think is almost basic to know what. the person you are trying to meet, does for a leaving.. I am not talking about any random person .. but someone you are interested in, and you want to get to know him better.

2

Just an ice breaker really, not intrusive but shows an interest. I don't think it's any deeper than that.

Although if I met a woman in a wet suit playing a banjo I would ask 'What the fuck do you do for a living?' 🙂

2

The occupation itself may not define the person, but it may indicate the amount of ambition, may show their interests (if they are passionate about the work), and if they'll have time for a guy. If she works a ton or has irregular hours beyond reason, then tjatay not work out so well.

3

Because I have social anxiety and can't think of anything else to say?

2

I ask EVERYONE what they do for a living. It's just a means of starting conversation.

2

I think that question is more attributed to our cultural norms, than anything else. Just like asking about the weather or how someone's day went. We ask out of habit, not for the answer, but for the human interaction.

I prefer to ask women if they're happy, what motivates them to get out of bed, and if they know they're beautiful.

Marz Level 7 July 9, 2018
1

For most people, most of their waking lives is spent at work. And like it or not, your job says a lot about your social status, your values and possibly your expectations. I know women who are Engineers, Doctors and Scientists. I would find these women more interesting than a waitress. What if her occupation is topless dancer? Many of them are outright prostitutes. That comes with baggage I would never want to deal with.

0

Honestly it’s just one of a long list of questions I ask when I am first getting to know somebody. When people tell me things about themselves, I don’t really judge them, nor do I ask questions with ulterior motives.

1

It's always a double edged sword. I've seen woman have a complete attitude change when they lean what kind of job I have. If a woman is a "gold digger", that can mean they are nobody to trust for mariage, but a one-night stand opportunity.

1

Depends on who is asking and why. It could be innocent in just making conversation and or a way to get to know the other person. What someone does certainly provides some information about who they are.

2

It's generally just small talk. I'm not looking for what you do so much as what do you spend your time thinking about. I wanna use that to open up the conversation.

1

It opens the door for more questions.
I use it as a gage. It can show a lot of the woman's personality. Depending on the follow up questions it allows one to dig into her personality.
To see how her ego is and gives a glimpse of her of lifestyle.

0

Encouragement

Some women don't like to talk about what they do for a living because they feel that it doesnt help them better themselves or because they feel the income earned isnt enough. When I ask, I also ask if they like what they do, and I encourage them to keep doing what they are doing. Gotta remember we live in a world of fake economies and "jobless recoveries" so having a job is better than being unemployed or victimized by "jobless recoveries".

0

I think of it as a general curiosity. For many people, their work lives are either part of who they are, or just a job. Either way, by asking about their line of work, you learn a lot about a person in their response.

My 2 cents, as always.

DerekD Level 7 July 16, 2018
0

Just to make conversation if you what you do for a living is your passion it says a lot about you and therefor paints a good picture of what type of persone you are and if you don't like your job can still be a good conversation as why your in this line of work and what you can do to change that

0

It is an icebreaker, I get asked this by both men and women (I am male) and am just as apt to ask it of males as females. Typically anymore at my stage in life I already know what someone does for a living when we start talking, though.

PDF Level 5 July 16, 2018
0

I would ask women that question too, but not first. I am more interested in who they are as a person than what they do, although I realize there can be a link between the two. It will come up anyway, sooner or later, but getting to know a person in other ways is much more fascinating.

0

I'm a woman and have been asked this question by men and I have asked this question myself. I don't mind the question and I don't mind answering it. It's just a piece of information that can help you to see how a relationship with that person fits together. I always thought guys just wanted to see if I was self sufficient and can take care of myseIf and not become overly financially dependent on them. I understand how people are concerned about being in a relationship where they could end up being the sole provider. Most of us want a partner you can build a future with and work together towards a decent life. Myself, I just like to know that they have a job! I mean it's just a practical and real life question. However, I have been asked how much I make. That's not cool. It doesn't matter how much you make. That's just someone looking for money. I think what you do for a living is a very practical question and leads to us feeling a little more secure about entering into the relationship. I'm cool with it.

0

I am an older man and I have found that question very male by nature. Men, when they meet, will soon be talking about what they do for a living. Yes, it is a bit strange when you think about it. Perhaps, and I can't say for sure, young men still do that and they do it with women now. In a way it is a matter of equality. I like to know what a person does. I am a film editor and I compose music. Have a nice day.

0

I, for one, recognize profession as the tip of the iceberg when learning about an individual. If I were to discover someone who has a career rather than just a job, that is rare and fascinating to me.
But to apply a mosaic of stereotypes based on profession, culture, race, religion or political bias is to miss the point of asking questions in the first place. IMHO.

1

I think I ask it just to continue the conversation, it usually leads to some more questions and insight about that person and maybe a way to find common ground.

0

I think it's about getting a base to work from rather than going into the heady arena of emotions! It does open the way for further questions; Do you live to work or work to live? Are you following your dreams? Do you think you are part of the system? Etc 🙂

0

It's less about what they do for a living and more about why they do it. Are they at that job because they love it and it's really important to them? Or are they strictly there for a paycheck? If they like it, why? What does their job say about their values?

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