It tells you if the woman is pro active and is ambitious. Having no job highlights inactivity. Student highlights working towards something. Having a job highlights pro active member of society.

Most men in this society feel that they are defined by their job. Them asking what someone does for a living is a way to help define who the person is.

I do not feel at all defined by my job. I don't ask what a woman does for her living, I ask how she spends her time? The answer reveals a lot about her and her priorities. If she spends 20 minutes telling me about her volunteer work rescuing kittens before she mentions her job, I know which matters more to her, or at least which she finds more fulfilling and rewarding.

Another reason for asking about someone's job is to find out what her schedule is like. Is it compatible with mine to the point that we will be able to spend time together? Will she have time to travel? Will that be weekends or weekdays? Fortunately I have some flexibility in my schedule, but it's helpful to know what to expect.

24 hours a day - 8 for sleeping - 1 or 2 commuting - 1 or 2 eating - 8 working.... work is something a person spends a significant portion of their lives doing. Depending on the vocation, you might spend more time doing that than being with anyone else in a day. It is synonymous with asking "what are you passionate about in life?" If it isn't, then you aren't living as well as you could.

Conversation starter

I'm a woman but maybe if I were a man I'd want to know if she's a co-dependent bum type. Some women still have their brains in 1952 and if I were a man I don't think I'd be interested in supporting a grown adult as though they were a child. I wouldnt be interested in a stay-at-home wife. Also, it seems lately that these types usually use pregnancy to get out of actual employment and still expect a high fallutin lifestyle. If I were a man? Hell to the NAW.

It's just rude to ask. Don't do it.

When you meet someone new and are attracted to her, its normal to be nervous and hence difficult to think of conversation starters. Since you spend about a third of your waking hours at work, its an easy topic to talk about. When a group of guys are talking, the most common topics are work and sports. So it stands to reason that when talking to women, they will gravitate to the one that they think has the most common ground.

I would think it is just a quick way to see if you have something that takes up a lot of your time in common, nothing more sinister. If I worked in the medical field and I find out you do too, we suddenly have a whole lot to talk about. Maiasaura below who gets asshole comments on her job would have probably gotten asshole responses to whatever topic was brought up! I was never ashamed to say what I did for a living and it never occurred to me that the person was trying to scope out my earning potential. Maybe I was wrong. If you do something interesting, I want to know more, and it can lead into your other interests.

I am a retired professional and outside of some horrible part time jobs in college have usually loved what I did for a living. I think there is frequently an assumption that what people do for a living is something about which they are passionate or, at least something they like. That's obviously not true for a huge portion of the population but I think people who love what they do tend to assume most other people also love what they do. I think that people who hate what they do for a living might think that nobody else would tolerate hating what they do and must love or at least like what they do. If that is substantially true (?) then asking someone what he or she does and how he or she feels about it is looking for a window through which they can get an idea of who that person is. That is a reasonable curiosity. If someone hates what they do and they tell me that I would feel a step closer to knowing who that person is. I understand that Europeans are baffled why Americans ask each other what they do for a living.

I think it is a central part of finding out about the person. I think I saw a study that said over 80% of people are unhappy in their job....so the following shouldn't be taken as "I see you as a sell out", but if I was to ask (1) it tells me if you are happy with what you do for 1/3 of your day and (2) it gives me an idea if you are not, what dreams you have given up on just to fit in and make ends meet. You typically spend 1/3 of your day at your job, 1/3 of your day sleeping, and 1/3 of your day dealing with life and trying to squeeze in some enjoyment. I don't necessarily judge a person if they are working at a job they hate, I've done that myself like most people, esp single parents, but it also tells me the what and why you are doing it.

So yea...I think your job is a big part of who you are b/c it is so much a part of your life.

It is a non threatening way to find out more about a person. It adds to the quiver of things to talk about, and unless you are truly embarrassed by what you so for a living, this is information that anyone that knows you should have an idea about. If you believe that people ask it for stereotyping, that sounds like projection. Stop looking for deep meaning in early conversation, it normally isn't there. This is a common human desire to know more about people around us.

I imagine it's more of an ice breaker. there a motive? probably not but i can remember a song that said if her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal. if her daddy's poor, just do as you feel. asking right away? in general you sound defensive. why any one curious? because they either want to know, or they are interested. you are too defensive. by the way, what do you do for a living, lol

I suppose I would ask because sometimes what a person does for a living lets you know a little bit about that person themselves

I've stopped doing that as I feel it doesn't necessarily give an accurate picture as to a woman's personality. I'd much rather know what she does in her spare time in order to get to know her better.

"Imagine you've just met a woman, briefly discuss the weather and she asks, "So, what do you do for a living?"" - - pretty typical for the very few I encounter outside of work that wish to continue a discussion.

After telling the few that ask me what I do for a job and me asking them, "why do you ask?" the response is usually: "I just wanted to see if you make enough money to make me happy". I do respect that pragmatic answer.

As for me, I only ask on the very rare occasion I encounter a woman of superior (to general populous) intellect to establish a base for their education and interests. The more science they know, the more we can share.

I find that many people identify/define themselves by their occupation, especially if they truly enjoy what they do. No matter the answer (just a job or it's their identity), a follow-up question is how much they enjoy it. That reveals several things: their job makes them feel good or miserable, if they are stuck in one location or they can move, they are looking to do something else and that may make a relationship work or not, they are too busy for a relationship without realizing or is willing to manage time to be with someone, and there are many other things to learn depending on the person/situation.
Of course, it doesn't mean this is something that needs to be asked right away.

Lack of imagination, struck dumb by your beauty and demeanor, wants to know your abilities to handle off beat questions, seems like somewhere in there is your answer

I’d say it was because it’s what someone spends 1/3 of their life doing? And often ties into their passions, ambitions and interests? Sometimes it’s a career they love and is an important part of their self image,other times it’s ‘just a job’ and hen the next question is of course what they would love to be doing- what are their dreams?

I’ve never seen it as a negative question or stereotype. I’d happily go on a date with someone from a totally different field to me and learn all about something new.

It's a conversation starter - It can reveal a lot about the girl's interests, goals, drive, etc. If you're an entrepreneur, I can take that conversation in like 5 interesting directions. If you're 30 and still working as a bartender, you more than likely don't have much drive or goals.

Curiousity and it is a way to get her comfortable talking about herself? I mean most people I meet like what they do so they are very engaged and excited to share that with people.

It can tell if a person is educated, a hard worker (ie construction/farming) compatibility off jobs too, so let's say Jane Doe works steady midnights and John Black Works only weekends and that's the time that she has off that would suck. Reason like that is why so many have said just curious.

I don't mind it because I love my job. But I think it's just one of those standard questions everyone asks. I don't think it's ever changed my opinion of the person I was talking to.

It’s a pretty easy, 0 pressure icebreaker. It’s not flirtatious enough to put the other person on guard, but it shows a certain level of not-so-creepy interest.

I never had an issue with women asking what I do for work until I started this career. Now I’m sometimes a little reluctant to answer only because it makes it difficult to gauge their actual interest level. A few women pick up interest just hoping for a free massage.

Because thats one of the first things that women ask me. So, I think that is what they want to talk about?

It’s a great way of getting to know someone. I’ll ask the same question of a man when I meet him. I also the other typical questions of both. Like music or sports questions.