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Overweight shows weakness?

So I got into almost an argument with family members when the subject of health came up. They actually made the remark to say that the true strong people are the ones who never allowed themselves to gain weight to become overweight to begin with and that people overweight are only strong minded to do something about it. Like, really? That’s completely unrealistic because sometime life happens and the individual have no choice but to automatically gain weight. I thought what this person said was just plain pointless and stupid. What do any of you think?

By EmeraldJewel
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82 comments

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Strength and weakness comes in many forms. Never are things so simplistic.

novoxguy Level 6 July 13, 2018
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I thought I was a stress eater for a couple decades. I did not know about insulin resistance. Once I did, the diet change allowed my workouts to be effective. The problem for me was not understanding the carb effects and the diets I would try were not helping. Hated myself in the mirror and resented my ex not helping, she would push comfort foods during stress times. Much happier now, but I would not characterize it as week. Because of insulin resistance my body was screaming it was starving.

TaylorWalston Level 5 July 13, 2018
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I'd rather be a good person who is fat, than a skinny person who is an asshole.

arnies Level 6 July 13, 2018
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As long as the person saying those unkind things doesn't smoke, exercises daily, & has no bad habits....sure. But mainly it bothers me when people consider things like weight gain an indicator of poor character, & that they obviously consider themselves superior to anyone who is overweight. The person's remark was not only pointless & stupid, it was very unkind & to me that's worse.

Carin Level 6 July 13, 2018
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For me it's laziness in both exercise and eating habits I don't know if I'd call it weakness though. For example I can ride my bike to work but it's easier to just drive.

Preston Level 4 July 12, 2018
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2

I have an ulcerative colitis (Bowel disease), and as a result sometimes i get a poorly stomach. On occasions I have been on bouts of Prednisolone (steroids that make you incredibly hungry like never before). I am only 5 foot 9, and before this illness I weighed about 170 pounds. With the meds on and off for about 2 years I went up to 220 pounds (this is the heaviest I have ever weighed, and I was actually really fat), 18 months on I now weigh 190 pounds. Hoping that I won't need the steroids anymore and would love to get down to about 180 pounds. So I have lost 30 pounds but still look quite chubby, Never had an issue with my weight before this condition. There is nothing I can do about it, auto immune conditions fight you, not the other way round.

RobH86 Level 7 July 11, 2018
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I can totally relate to the steroids. It sucks because they make you feel a lot better but, the appetite and the weight gain is horrible. I was diagnosed with lupus in 2000 and was put on high doses and gained about 65 pounds. Here I am 18 years later and I'm still struggling to get the last 40 off.

2

When weight becomes a contentious topic, it's time to do some serious thinking about the people bringing the topic up. Whether they are family or good friends, they either love those close to them, or they have issues they need to address. I have been overweight, skeletal, etc.... The people close to me have never made one comment.

Holysocks Level 7 July 11, 2018
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For myself a part of the 30 extra pounds I have is from failing to stick to a healthier diet. I have given up a lot of bad things; soda, caffeine, cigarettes, and I've never drank so my last vice is sweets; just can't stop lol. For me yes I consider it MY weakness and I don't like being where I am in my weight.

I don't consider it everyones weakness though because I understand that each one of us is different.

Like you have said people have life events, there are also medical issues, or even genetics that could add to the problem.

I do feel that its best to do my best to keep from getting any bigger, because that's what's best for me. I would recommend that everyone try to strive to stay healthy or get to what's healthy for yourself.

cimoore34 Level 5 July 11, 2018
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Fatness or leanness is not an indicator of health! I just read The Secret Life of Fat by Sylvia Tara, I highly recommend it to everyone.

Jellifish1 Level 5 July 11, 2018
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I’ll check it out.

0

Simple magnitude check for all that think extra weight is OK
Extra weight is OK if you can fit in single seat of a bus — not if you don’t
Imagine same size human also has an assigned seat next to you and you won’t fit for the next 300 miles of continuous trip!

Morganfreeman Level 7 July 11, 2018
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That's not entirely true, some people are much larger than others. A 280 lb man that is 6'5" tall may not have a lot of 'extra' weight, but also probably won't fit comfortably into a single seat on a bus or airplane.

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Sometimes it's your family that comes up with the most stupid shit. It hurts a lot more than hearing it from some random stranger. First, I'm suspicious of any idea applied as a generalization that covers all cases. Second, even if that's what you think, why broadcast it? What do you gain at the cost of hurting someone else? But finally, what exactly makes someone else's weight (or status, or any other characteristic) your business?

zeuser Level 7 July 11, 2018
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Exactly!!!

3

Your peeps are being simplistic dimbulbs, that's what I think.

My wife gained (and lost) about 60 pounds on her small frame over the past decade and it wasn't weakness, it was suffering. Ironically, largely inflicted by her family of origin, which she is finally making a mental break from. Me or anyone else riding her about it wouldn't have helped, and shaming her about it definitely would have made it worse, given that her issues were largely shame-based to begin with. She had to save herself and I had to give her the space to do so.

Obesity, depression, anxiety, OCD, addiction issues ... our society does its best to kick people when they're down with things like that. While largely being the catalyst, if not the cause to begin with.

mordant Level 7 July 11, 2018
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and some of us get hurt and build a wall of fat as a defense to heartbreak

whiskywoman Level 6 July 11, 2018
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Exactly! But judgmental people can’t seen to grasp that.

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skinny angry ppl die too and are not always healthier than fat ppl

and who wants to screw with a stick it hurts to bump bones bruised hips are not fun

in women we have extra for bearing children and getting oregnant can change body chemistry so that one can get thinner or fatter more easily my first 2 kids i lost weight as a not chubby but not thin teen i lost weight and was thin for the first time in my life but child number 3 i gained so fast and could not loose it even with diets or pills

whiskywoman Level 6 July 11, 2018
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Lmfao

Yea you can definitely compare me at 155lb vs my 345lb cousin of same age and see who can quicker put together floor tiles in my moms kitchen lol!
Having some belly and fat tuch? It might make you sound and even beautiful, but not if it’s too fkn far out — not to the size that cannot fit elevator doors

@Morganfreeman who the hell said anything about not fitting in elevators good fucking gravy that is another conversation im not that fucking fat but ive outlived 4 of my siblings skinnier siblings and im oldest of 7

1

The (implied) "theory" that all overweight people "allowed themselves" to get that way is BS. It does apply to some, but not all. There are many reasons why it happens to some people. Interestingly, I read that some contestants on The Biggest Loser who lost massive amounts of weight are gaining it back despite maintaining lifestyle changes and exercise they learned on the show.

IAMGROOT Level 7 July 11, 2018
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Not all — only 98%

@Morganfreeman bullshit

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Skinny women, like a sack of bones... are weak... too weak... they fall, they break a bone... so what is your point? Get off your complex.

GipsyOfNewSpain Level 8 July 11, 2018
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Alright, I’ll make sure I tell them that cause they need to hear it.

@EmeraldJewel You don't have to... they know they are brittle! They don't need to hear it. Same as the overweight don't need to have a bunch of senseless discuss their "weakness" online.

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Skinny women, like a sack of bones... are weak... too weak... they fall, they break a bone... so what is your point?

GipsyOfNewSpain Level 8 July 11, 2018
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"no choice but to automatically gain weight" is nonsense.... We are chemicals. Anything worth having is often hard to get.

buck1977 Level 7 July 11, 2018
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The reality is that whether the person is "weak" or not, people tend to assume they are. I am wresting with that as I lose weight. I feel like I am discounted the moment I walk in a room.

Fanburger Level 7 July 11, 2018
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3

If not caused by medical conditions being overweight is just a matter of poor choices.
Energy used=<energy consumed.
I lost 50# using no diet just considering better choices for food.

oldFloyd Level 5 July 11, 2018
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And none of these people ever had an illness that made them immobile, or took meds that cause weight gain, or comforted themselves with food? I say BS!

AnneWimsey Level 8 July 11, 2018
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I do, too!

1

The other thing that people who are very overweight have a tendency to get their feelings hurt over is the fact that people say they're not attractive on The evolutionary level we have evolved to be attracted to mates that are healthy looking this is to ensure the survival of the species

Drsmash253 Level 5 July 11, 2018
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5

There are many reasons for being overweight. Fat shaming doesn't help with the struggle.

moonmaid Level 7 July 11, 2018
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I did also want to add that every other single member of my family is morbidly obese does my family have a genetic propensity toward being fat absolutely does that mean that I have to be fat absolutely not

Drsmash253 Level 5 July 11, 2018
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4

Wow, fat shaming is rampant. Food has so many associations and so much baggage. If the answer were only so easy as simply more will power, more strength of character. The math is simple, eat more calories than you burn and you gain weight. The reality is food is wrapped up in mental health and emotions. Food is love, food is celebration, food is life. Yeah, every overweight person needs more judgement in their life. What would I say to your family members. I'd say "Fuck you. Take your judgement and stuff it down your pie hole and I hope you choke on it."

HippieChick58 Level 8 July 11, 2018
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Yes our society has a completely unhealthy attitude towards food

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