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Overweight shows weakness?

So I got into almost an argument with family members when the subject of health came up. They actually made the remark to say that the true strong people are the ones who never allowed themselves to gain weight to become overweight to begin with and that people overweight are only strong minded to do something about it. Like, really? That’s completely unrealistic because sometime life happens and the individual have no choice but to automatically gain weight. I thought what this person said was just plain pointless and stupid. What do any of you think?

By EmeraldJewel7
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Anyone who thinks that has obviously never ventured outside their own safe little bubble, whether it was thru a voluntary choice or not. That point of view is short-sighted and lacks empathy.

Kat Level 5 July 10, 2018



Also I've watched skinny people eat my weight in pizza and people 'haha you're so lucky" but I eat one slice of pizza and "see that's why you can't lose weight."
They always say they're concerned about the health of fat people but they never seem concerned about the health of skinny people that eat piles of garbage every day

IKR! I know a woman in her late 80s who eats junk all the time and brag about how she’s been skinny all her life. I finally said,” Jist cause you skinny doesn’t ensure you’re healthy with you eating loads of garbage.” She got on my last nerves.


It's really pathetic for people to believe that. Fat-shaming is cruel and ignorant. People come in all shapes and sizes and are large or small for all sorts of reasons. As a larger woman myself I spent years feeling I was ugly and weak because of my size. I can say now I've finally been able to embrace who I am, regardless of my size, and any decision I make about my body is based on my health and nothing else.

bleurowz Level 8 July 10, 2018

The classic argument of someone who has never been overweight. There are a million reasons why a person might be overweight and not a single one of them is helped by being fat shamed. Skinny doesn't necessarily equal healthy.

GwenC Level 7 July 10, 2018



Fat is caused by...
hormone levels
food deserts
poor living condisions

you will notice none of these are over eating or self-fucking-control.

MissaDixon Level 7 July 10, 2018

@Morganfreeman I know poverty as a cause of being overweight sounds strange but, when you look at the food choices that are available to people that available that do not have a lot of money it kind of makes sense. The most inexpensive foods are pretty much crap and full of fat and highly processed. As opposed to using fresh meats, fruits and vegetables. Which unfortunately are a lot more expensive.

@Morganfreeman skeptic? WTF? You can read right...then fucking google it you nit wit... stop expecting others to do your work.


@Beach_slim body shaming much? why yes you are...and you can't read.

There’s also medication to be added to the list. I take two that both say ‘may cause weight gain’ on the insert and I’m quite sure there’s there’s many more.

@Morganfreeman and yet you blame the victims. Hummm why is that?

@Morganfreeman, @Beach_slim fat shaming... really... how about asshole shaming...There's a reason y'all are single. Really people don't put up with this kind of abuse.

@Beach_slim is some kind of troll... can't figure out which type and I don't have the spoons for it right now... maybe later. However, his support of the alt-right is all over his page/no pic/ no real local/ no real anything means that this person is a little bitch.

@MissaDixon I understand what you are saying. @Beach_slim @Morganfreeman , True, a lot of being in good shape has much to do with diet and exercise. However, there are exceptions and they are becoming more and more prevalent. Before you judge and say that if people would just diet and exercise they wouldn't have a weight problem, look at the exceptions and see if you can possibly be a little empathetic and non-judgmental. Have you ever had an extremely painful autoimmune disease and had to be on very high doses of steroids just to function? (corticosteroids cause extreme weight gain in case you didn't know) Have you ever had every single joint and/or muscle in your body so painful and inflamed that you can hardly get out of bed, let alone exercise? How about having a low functioning or inactive thyroid? How about losing your thyroid to cancer? PCOS? Cushing's Syndrome? A failing liver? Epstein-Barr? CFS? Hormone deficiency? Depression? I can go on if you want to. I have autoimmune diseases (lupus, fibromyalgia, CFS, underactive thyroid) and also depression and insomnia caused by all of it so, I know the struggle. And it is a very true and difficult struggle. As if it is not bad enough living with chronic pain and fatigue, myself and others like myself have to put up with judgmental people like you. So please get yourself educated and quit assuming that someone is overweight because they are just lazy! If you need help, there is this thing called Google where you enter a topic that you want to know more about and it will lead you to places you can get yourself informed and become less ignorant.

@Morganfreeman After careful reading, I realized that I don't know what on earth you are trying to say!


Gaining weight is so easy.
Losing weight is so hard.

JohnINFP Level 7 July 10, 2018

There are many reasons for being overweight. Fat shaming doesn't help with the struggle.

moonmaid Level 8 July 11, 2018

I've been this basic body shape since I was 5 years old. The story goes that my mum went into hospital for a few weeks, dropped a thin kid off with my grandparents and picked up a fat kid a few weeks later. I'm not sure how much truth there is in that, but I don't ever remember being thin. My situation is somewhat different to someone who was a normal body weight until they started to develop middle aged spread.

Self-control? Most of the thin people I know still smoke. Harming not just themselves, but those around them. Only when you have absolutely no vices (eating too much, drinking, smoking, taking drugs) should you consider yourself to have the right to be patronising to those who do.

And yes, it's quite clear that some people can eat what they want, do little to no exercise, and still stay close to their ideal body weight. There's definitely a genetic factor in this.

Perhaps back in the days when most work was physical, being overweight was an indicator of laziness. But a lot of people do non-physical jobs these days (desk work, driving etc.) still making them a much more productive member of society than a thin person who spends all day watching television at the taxpayer's expense.

Most prejudices are slowly falling into the realms of political incorrectness, if not outright illegality. You can't pick on people for their sexuality or the colour of their skin these days. But I think 'fat = lazy' and 'fat = disgusting' are going to be the most difficult ones to kick. Though reading the comments on here already, there's hope. Thank you for being so positive.


I can only add... there's no connection between "moral strength and willpower" and your weight. Be as "strong" as you like, if your body doesn't cooperate, too bad.

Paul4747 Level 8 July 11, 2018

Wow, fat shaming is rampant. Food has so many associations and so much baggage. If the answer were only so easy as simply more will power, more strength of character. The math is simple, eat more calories than you burn and you gain weight. The reality is food is wrapped up in mental health and emotions. Food is love, food is celebration, food is life. Yeah, every overweight person needs more judgement in their life. What would I say to your family members. I'd say "Fuck you. Take your judgement and stuff it down your pie hole and I hope you choke on it."

Yes our society has a completely unhealthy attitude towards food


As someone who has lost 100lbs before. I can tell you that people that have been thin their whole life have absolutely no idea what they are talking about when it comes weight loss. I started a new job in a new city after I had lost the weight. The young thin people would talk bad about the bigger people all the time. I told them that I would much rather hangout with a bigger person than any of them 100 times out of 100. Seriously people lose weight only if you want to make yourself healthier and live longer. Never do it for vanity.

McWalsoft Level 6 July 10, 2018

Well said! I agree with everything! It should be about health.


Your peeps are being simplistic dimbulbs, that's what I think.

My wife gained (and lost) about 60 pounds on her small frame over the past decade and it wasn't weakness, it was suffering. Ironically, largely inflicted by her family of origin, which she is finally making a mental break from. Me or anyone else riding her about it wouldn't have helped, and shaming her about it definitely would have made it worse, given that her issues were largely shame-based to begin with. She had to save herself and I had to give her the space to do so.

Obesity, depression, anxiety, OCD, addiction issues ... our society does its best to kick people when they're down with things like that. While largely being the catalyst, if not the cause to begin with.

mordant Level 8 July 11, 2018

If not caused by medical conditions being overweight is just a matter of poor choices.
Energy used=<energy consumed.
I lost 50# using no diet just considering better choices for food.

oldFloyd Level 7 July 11, 2018

I did also want to add that every other single member of my family is morbidly obese does my family have a genetic propensity toward being fat absolutely does that mean that I have to be fat absolutely not

Drsmash253 Level 7 July 11, 2018

I can tell you this I got very sick I was on massive steroids and I swelled up like a balloon. I was 42 pounds overweight as soon as I went off the steroids I adjusted my eating program I drop down to 12 to 1500 calories I exercise everyday I drink a lot of water and guess what I lost 42 pounds I'm not going to bash on anybody if they're overweight but unless you do have a health problem in my case it was rheumatoid arthritis making it necessary for me to take steroids being skinny is a choice

Drsmash253 Level 7 July 11, 2018



Overweight shows weakness if the overweight person DID have a choice NOT to become overweight and did NOT want to become overweight. It also shows a lack of willpower if the person IS overweight, DOES want to lose weight, CAN lose weight, but DOESN'T.

Reducing weight can be as simple as ingesting less calories and/or exercising more.

Make them do burpees


I agree with you. I think they are ignorant of the real facts. I had a friend who weighed 400 #s, she was a large baby, a tall big child, a larger teenager and it continued through the years. She was the mayor or a large city. That's a strong person. She had health care and surgeries. Still gained. It was hormones her body causing it. It's a never ending health problem for her, not her fault. That is just one of a ten thousand reasons why some people gain weight. It depends on the person. No one case is the same.


What about those with a thyroid condition? I have hypothyroidism and weight gain is a symptom. There all kinds of health conditions that result in weight gain not to mention side effects from life saving medications. Sounds like your family members are uninformed.

yogafan108 Level 7 July 10, 2018



Personally, I find slender people slightly unappealing body-wise. Not trying to be a body bigot (before some stupid ass takes offense). That's just my opinion about beauty. I think curves look better than bones. And I find I like men with a little weight on them too. A study a few years back concluded that women who were slightly over weight actually had longer life spans than women who were thin. Myself, I like having a little weight on my body. I also think that if you are "over weight" and are confident and love who you are, who gives a damn what anyone else thinks.


There is an unfortunately common stigma that weight is an indication of virtue. Our society has the same stigma about poverty. Both ignore many relavent factors in order to assign a label of good or bad to strangers.

A2Jennifer Level 7 July 10, 2018

Being overweight only shows how the sugar and corn lobby won. They sweetened everything and told us for years fat was evil, not their overly sweetened product. Cut out sugar and people will be healthier, thinner, and more energetic.

dokala Level 7 July 10, 2018

I have an ulcerative colitis (Bowel disease), and as a result sometimes i get a poorly stomach. On occasions I have been on bouts of Prednisolone (steroids that make you incredibly hungry like never before). I am only 5 foot 9, and before this illness I weighed about 170 pounds. With the meds on and off for about 2 years I went up to 220 pounds (this is the heaviest I have ever weighed, and I was actually really fat), 18 months on I now weigh 190 pounds. Hoping that I won't need the steroids anymore and would love to get down to about 180 pounds. So I have lost 30 pounds but still look quite chubby, Never had an issue with my weight before this condition. There is nothing I can do about it, auto immune conditions fight you, not the other way round.

RobH86 Level 7 July 11, 2018

I can totally relate to the steroids. It sucks because they make you feel a lot better but, the appetite and the weight gain is horrible. I was diagnosed with lupus in 2000 and was put on high doses and gained about 65 pounds. Here I am 18 years later and I'm still struggling to get the last 40 off.


When weight becomes a contentious topic, it's time to do some serious thinking about the people bringing the topic up. Whether they are family or good friends, they either love those close to them, or they have issues they need to address. I have been overweight, skeletal, etc.... The people close to me have never made one comment.

Holysocks Level 7 July 11, 2018

Maybe being fit provides more discipline, but if one is never comfortable in their skin, all their work is for naught.

There are also health reasons that cause weight gain, same with emotional. So one person to say fat is weakness, means they are weak themselves and they just are projecting a shallow argument to validate their egos.

Body shaming, no matter what size is the true showing and meaning of weakness. Not the person's who are fat/skinny.

Chilton704 Level 5 July 11, 2018

One's Metabolism changes as we age. You can eat and excercise the exact same amount and still gain weight if your matabolic rate shifts even a little. Extreme stress can also trigger weight gain. Self discipline can only prevent so much.

MaverickXL Level 3 July 10, 2018
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