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Do you trust easily or do you trust no one?

I learned a long time ago not to trust anyone. Most people will snitch on you, backstab you after you just helped them out, use you, abuse you, spread rumors about you, etc... I especially had to learn the hard way in the work force. All the managers and crew gossip. It's like we went back into time and are back in high school again. I don't trust anyone anymore. Parents say to trust them, you can't. Friends that I used to have did it too. I tend to keep to myself because of all the drama I try my best to ignore, everywhere. I don't care about anyone else's business but my own. Do you trust easily? I don't.

Sarahroo29 8 Jan 7

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34 comments

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7

I hardly trust myself

^what he said

7

i only trust when a person has earned it. i guess initially i trust no one

X-files...

6

Depends on what's being risked. My general default is to trust but verify. As the stakes go up, the verification gets more rigorous. In long term relationships trust is essential, and must be proactively built. In other words, trust is earned.

skado Level 8 Jan 7, 2018
6

Fool me once shame on you,Fool me twice shame on me.

5

My trust is readily available to people who demonstrate impeccable integrity, authenticity, and compassion.

Almost no one makes the cut.

I'm fine with that.

That describes how I negotiate and evaluate. ...good job. ...be the model for best behaviour and demand reciprocity

4

I tend to trust people and usually think positive ,but unfortunately this has not always turned out in my favor

4

Trust is like firewood, once its burnt its gone forever

4

I have trusted too much in the past. I have always been a giver. Learned to hold back a little.

You seem like a nice person. People tend to want to take advantage of kindness.

You're right. No more.

4

easily . you have to disprove my faith in you

I agree with you, I trust YOU 100%! I cannot see that if YOU want a relationship to work that you withhold anything. That does not mean to be blind or gullible.

3

Well, I trust other drivers (but I drive very defensively), but on a personal level I trust very few people. Experience.

3

I subscribe to the trust but verify school of thought. That being said, it's extremely hard for me to completely trust anyone.

Phrases that will immediately turn me off:

  1. What; you don't trust me?
  2. I would never lie to you
  3. I'm a Christian, so you can trust me.

I'm sure there are others but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.

3

I regret that I must agree with you. Despite human altruism, we are self-interested and self-protecting beings. It may be part of our evolutionary development; I don't know, I'm not an expert on this. At my age I have few illusions about people, how they will turn on you if tested, and it's best to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised, rather than assume the best and be horribly disappointed about people. But let's also make a wider context point: political ideology over past decades has promoted selfish individualism, a winner and loser culture, a succeed at all costs mentality, it's you against the other guy (person) attitude, and the prevailing ideology and human behaviour are inextricably linked. We build dog-eat-dog societies and then we are surprised that people act like dogs.

I might have to steal that last sentence

3

I got many levels of trust for different uses. Trust on compartments, works for me.

3

I see trust like a banker sees a loan. You determine whether to put your trust into someone based on their past merit. If you find they do not deserve that trust, and have burned a bridge with you, then you know never to gift that individual trust in the future, regardless of any future merit.

Gohan Level 7 Jan 7, 2018
3

I trust people to easily and am a pushover . I have lost thousands over the years to people because I felt sorry for them when they would ask me for loans of money and failed to pay it back

I lost that much to my second husband just before we split up. The dirt bag.

@richiegtt not with money per se but I always have to watch myself as the "projection" for nefarious purposes is absent in me. I hate having to ask myself "what's in it for them" but after past experiences have no other choice. Once a person's trust is broken by someone close it's very hard to go back.

e.g. there is one person in our family who is like a newspaper if you want to save money taking out an ad, just tell them a thing. LOL Funny but also not. With that if someone messes with my kid they've won themselves a lifelong target on their back with a timer attached to it.

3

There are a very small number of people I trust, and one or two I trust entirely. I used to trust people unless they gave me a reason not to, but like you I've discovered that most people simply can't be trusted.

Jnei Level 8 Jan 7, 2018
3

I take my time.

2

The golden rule maintains that you will be treated as you treat others and if you don't start with a position of trust, you will not be given trust in return.

Hence, I trust (everyone) but verify (everything).

2

My trust is a lot more open for people who wish to have platonic friendship.

clea Level 4 Jan 9, 2018
2

Both, I guess. I tend to treat new people as though I trust them (within reason) until they give me a reason not to. If I cannot articulate a valid reason I cannot trust someone, I give them the benefit of the doubt. However, that said, it takes a very long time before I genuinely trust someone enough that I don't think about how they might actually be deceiving me. Come the end of the day, the only person a truly trust is myself.

2

I am so sorry to read how many people violate you. Perhaps if I share a different yet global trust story of mine THIS MAY HELP. ? EVERY USA VETERAN is trained to give 99% trust with our very lives at stake. The 1 % exception = UN-lawful orders may be counter-manded. Even that situation of trust could result in being shot by the un-lawful commander. A Marsha Mason James Caan movie CINDERELLA LIBERTY entertains both civilian and Navy trust issues. Being trusted is as great a love gift as is being violated a Trojan Horse at work home friendship or neighborhood. Listening to Carly Simon sing kept me human in an UN-human war 45 years ago. I'M glad you trust us co-Atheists here to vent and seek cathartic discussion. Liberty is the Navy word for a pass from on duty base presence. Cinderella is the label code word for a pass that expires @ midnight requiring return to duty post.

2

Perspective. I tend to be open to all as they approach. A stranger is a friend not yet made. As they get closer, other things begin to kick in. I'm a skeptic, after all, and I've been around for a while -- so I watch, and listen. There are some who raise so many signals on the way in that I sidestep them -- let them pass on by -- outside the circle. Others may raise a couple flags, but they don't appear threatening enough to cause me concern. I let them all the way in but watch them even closer. The third type sounds no alarms and raises no flags. This one gets watched the closest. This one is either highly experienced at being clever and/or deceptive -- OR -- one of those you really want to have around you, to be close to. If they begin to show negative signs and it continues for too long a period, they find themselves summarily ejected from the circle.

If I avoid or dismiss out of hand, I will never find those folks I want at the core.

2

I tend to trust people easily.

1

If a person has earned my trust. Other than that, hell no! People can’t be trusted! Well...most people, anyway.

1

Pretty much , I use the everything is bull~#%# until proven otherwise. As people demonstrate their lack of bull#*% the trust factor rises. Also, I tend to look at myself more so, in regards to relationships .. platonic or otherwise. Did I not use my intuition? Did I purposely overlook some red flags because I wanted something etc .. that’s not to say I haven’t been blindsided . As a general rule tho, we kind of teach people how to treat us ... so I check myself... and get rid of the nonsense ????

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