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Does it matter anymore who makes the first move?

As a heterosexual female, I sometimes feel like men are either intimidated or turned off when I make the first move. But does that even matter anymore in this day and age? Do men still feel obligated to make first contact? Is this question applicable in the LGBTQ community?

BeeHappy 9 Jan 7
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35 comments (26 - 35)

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2

Can't answer been out of the loop a long time.

1

To be honest, with all the sexual harassment stuff going on these days and the 'I'm at the ____ I don't want to be hit on' mentality, I'm very uncomfortable making any kind of moves or even letting women know I'm attracted to them. Hell, there was even a post on here (a dating site) a few days ago about men telling women they are attractive in opening messages. I'm probably going to be alone until I die, cause I don't think I'm attractive enough for a woman to seek me out and hit on me. I guess it's because I haven't had to deal with it like women have, but I'd LOVE it if tons of women were always hitting on me.

1

Never did; depends solely on the interpretation of the receiver.

mzee Level 7 Jan 8, 2018
0

Tight accounting in matters of the heart is of little use, but over the long haul, granting space for reciprocity allows authentic balance to emerge, if there is potential for it.

skado Level 9 Jan 8, 2018
1

I don't think it matters

1

No. Not to me anyway. Of course, I am a gay man.

I think too many straight men base their masculinity (and self esteem) on leading and dominance. For such men it probably matters.

1

In today's me too culture I am a the point where there won't be a move unless she makes it. Of course I work in Hollywood and the Weinstein scandal has the entire town on edge in town.
In the past it never bothered me cause in my life looking back it's been about 50/50 for me and I've never had a problem with it.

1

If the feelings mutual I guess it doesn't matter. If it's not mutual then it's at the least awkward no matter who initiated it.

1

I've been out of the dating scene for many years. I too was a shy young man but it seemed like there was no shortage of girls making first contact. In today's world I would be concerned that what I said or did would be misconstrued. I have always been monagamous with the two serious girlfriends I had and with my wife of 45 years.

Oh, and religion was not a factor. I have been an agnostic since I can remember and my wife is same. To me it was a commitment that I made and I would have a hard time forgiving myself for breaking my word.

0

I'll make one now. Hi there. Come here often?

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