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What do you call your mother-in-law?

I've mostly just called her by her first name since I met her, but now my wife wants me to call her "mom". I'm not quite comfortable with that, though, because I love calling my own mother that.

Thoughts?

Rhetoric 7 Aug 7
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65 comments

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2

Generally I called my inlaws by their first names. They were kind of standoffish, and the daughters in law were not on the same level as the sons.

10

I've never been married so I can't speak from experience, but here's how I think I'd respond in your stead: “I want to have a close relationship with your mother and I really do feel close to her, but ‘Mom’ is reserved for the woman who spent so many years providing for me and caring for me and bringing me up to be the man I am today. I mean no disrespect, but I'm just not comfortable calling anyone else ‘Mom.’”

Perfect

7

I called her Linda her real name was Marie. I just liked fucking with her.

6

Dead now, but I only called her by her first name. She wanted to be “Mom,” but I never felt the emotional tie.

UUNJ Level 8 Aug 14, 2018

You just don't throw "mom" around.

6

I posted about this yesterday, but on reflection now she has been dead since 2004, I think I will give full vent to what I feel, and call her what I wanted to when she was alive. OLD BAG!! Wow that felt good! ? ?

6

Being called Mom by someone not related is a super high honor imo and has to feel right to both.
I would never insist on such a thing in that position but that's me.

5

I always knew when my mother in law was visiting. The mice used to throw themselves on the traps.

5

JABBA the hut in private

My mil has disdained me since I got married. She has tried to poisonn me to both of my own children and to their partners. She in now 85 and it hasn't changed. I no longer go with my wife on social visits.

The jabba the hut is beacause she has gained so much weight she looks like jabba.

My favorite story is when my children were very young we were all in our minivan driving to the mountains. My 5 year old son exclaimed that hey that building has a plus sign on it! I was quite happy he new his math , she became histrionic that her poor unbaptized grandson was going to hell. Love that boy.

5

Dead

Ditto.

Yup she's dead.

4

I used to call her mom, even after our divorce. She was a very kind and caring woman.

4

It’s ok to call more than one person mom, but it’s up to you to do what feels right to you. If it’s not genuine, you shouldn’t be pressured to call her that. If there is some other nickname that you both feel comfortable with, maybe ther is a compromise to be made, but first names should be fine.

I won’t say how I referred to my former MIL ?.

4

Mama Toni. She died when our daughter was eight. That was a relief.

A narcissistic, critical and controlling women, we never let her babysit our daughter.

"You are not family," she told me. Cruel.

Yes that's bad

4

1st name seems to be the way to go here anything that makes you uncomfortable should not be up for discussion

4

Dead! She has been gone quite a few years now, but she was the coldest of women when she was alive. I called her mother when she was alive as that is what my husband called her. My own mother was always Mum.

4

My mom calls her mil mom. So does my aunt.

Its just the way my family is.

When I was engaged, my fiances mother I called mom, and father I called papito.

I guess it just depends on how close you are.

Even my dad calls my grandma mom

But for some reason everyone besides me and mom called my papa "steve" lol

4

Dead. When she was still alive, I called her Virginia and Mom. Loved that woman a bundle and a half.

4

Before, during, and after the marriage, I called her and my father-in-law by their first names.

3

My mother-in-law has always been Judi - don't give 2-sh@ts what anyone feels about it. It used to be Mrs. Gagnon - we reached a compromise. I have one mom and I have no intention of assigning anyone else that title - don't give 2-shits what my in-laws think about it.

3

I call her by her name, or Grammy in relation to my kids.

Lauxa Level 5 Sep 2, 2018
3

2 legged snake? I was physically forced to give her a hug during "My Daughter Celebration of her Life". I always been True to my Feelings... No Sugarcoat! It is Personal!

3

I've never been married, but I call my exes parents by their first names. I never felt close enough to them to call them mom and dad.

3

I’ve always been happy to call mine Mom. She’s pretty damn awesome.

3

I don't have one (and don't want one!), but I had a cousin who didn't get along with the mom-in-law. The nicest thing he came up with was either "malicious old dragon" or "adipose harridan who broke every broomstick she tried to ride." Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that they didn't get along? 😛

3

When I was married I called her by her first name once and my husband laughed and laughed at me. I thought I got her name wrong! Apparently I was supposed to call her Mrs. So-and-so. Um, no - I was not comfortable with that so I just avoided addressing her in any way for 20 years lol.

Hihi Level 6 Aug 7, 2018

Here in the south, the I regularly hear "Miss So and So" for any female elder - including in-laws. My friend has been married for about 30 years and still calls and refers to her mother-in-law as "Miss Susan." My ex has five siblings. All his siblings-in-law call the mom "Ma Mary" or "Miss Mary." I called her Mary.

@BlueWave This was south Georgia. Boy did I not fit in with the other sisters in law!

3

In the beginning , if I was speaking with my boyfriend , I'd say , your Mom . Or if speaking to someone else , his Mom . Occasionally , by her name . By the time we'd separated , I was working at purging her from my mind altogether . I can remember later , when I found out she'd died , sitting at my desk singing in my mind , "Ding dong the witch is dead , which old witch , the wicked witch ."
I hereby apologize to all witches . I actually enjoy witches . They are wise , intelligent , and often self educated .

3

Since my mom passed away, I asked my mother-in-law if I could call her Mom. I know she is not my real Mom, but it makes me feel closer to her,

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