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Honest discussion wanted

When you see a man or woman put attention into another person, as in posting a photo and making comments or staring at someone in a public place. Stating how they admire their body etc.
There are plenty of examples on both sides.
I have worked in non traditional roles most of my life. I have seen bikini clad women selling tools and hot firemen on calendars. When I was young I really didn't understand how that is objectification of people. I went along with it and just thought it was how things worked. But as I have aged, and not in the most wonderful way, things changed.
I think we have to move beyond the objectification of people of both sexes and hope that as we move into a new era of thinking about people we will be more about embracing our differences and finding beauty in all types of people.
What is your take on this?

Akfishlady 8 Aug 18
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45 comments (26 - 45)

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3

If a picture is worth a thousand words, they must be simple fricken words. It's really not much to go on. Actually, a comment on a picture is more revealing to me than the picture itself.

The best pictures are painted with words. Words create an image in the minds eye which far excels sight itself.

3

One of my favorite responses to someone who wants the world to be as they think it should be is, "There is no one size fits all to humanity". By all means strive to make this world a better place for EVERYONE but being the individuals that we are, it is something that everyone has to learn to live with.

3

The attractiveness of said models is merely a method of attracting a fool to be separated from their money

3

Word. You are spot-on.

2

there was a jewish woman who had been in a concentration camp during the last war, she survived and on her 100th birthday she was leading the conga with the biggest smile on her face and she was beautiful as a person - I find that what we think of as 'beauty' often changes when something like this comes your way.

2

I value people from the neck up (their mind) and teach the same.

2

I call it "I am not dead neither blind just yet" ?

2

I feel much the same way. And I think that age and maturity are the forces that work against the objectification glamour. The inexperienced and insincere are easily taken by the shallow lure of youthful images. That youth will age and what becomes is less and less of its appearance and needs to rely more and more on its inner substance to be meaningfull. So too the eye of a wise beholder learns early to look inside for value and not to be fold by cosmetics. One of my teachers in statistics once told me that "looking at statistics is like looking at someone in a bathing suit. What you see may be interesting but what you don't see is crucial." While a woman I worked with and had a total crush on once told me that " men age against time while women age against gravity." One of my early mentors told me, in his crude sort of way, that the older chicks " don't yell, they don't swell, they don't tell, and they're greatfull as hell." So my own social diet is focused on more meaningfull connections with people of substance rather than cosmetic appeal. But to be honest I still enjoy an occasional look at the menu.

2

We are ALL genetically programmed to look at, and appreciate, what we are genetically programmed to appreciate.

I think we need to move to total nudity, no restrictions. Titties on big display. Pubic hair everywhere. Then we will be able to stop caring about it.

Covering it all and letting the religious demand ignorance and denial helps no one.

Awh, man, if we all went nudist I'd never be able to go outside in the daytime unless they invented, like, SPF 1000 super-thick blockity block sun block.

@memorylikeasieve yeah. got red hair. got burned every summer as a kid.

I am sure the result would be more trees everywhere.

But, my comment was mostly about advertising and movies/TV.

A lewis black explanation:
"""I’m lucky that I can keep a shred of sanity because I get to travel every few years and get out of the United States. I was lucky enough two years ago to perform in Copenhagen, in Denmark, and uh… Copenhagen is a happy city. This is how happy they are. After I arrived that evening, looking for entertainment, I went down to the park, and a band was playing. It turned out to be the military band. And they were playing– [SNAPS FINGERS] “Dancing Queen.” Yes sirree, that’s a– that’s a country I can go to war with. Also, another reason I knew just how happy they were was because about 20 minutes after I arrived, I was wandering around to get my bearings, the neighborhood, and get a sense of what was around my hotel, and a bus drove by, and on that bus was a billboard, and on that billboard was a photograph of the most… beautiful breasts I’ve ever seen in my life. They were– they were glistening. They were glistening! I’m a little embarrassed, but it made my mouth water. We’ll never have a billboard like that in this country, ever. It’s just not gonna happen. We’re not– we’re not sexually mature enough, as a country, to have it. As a country, we’re about twelve and a half years old. We’re not even close, and I tell ya…

You know, if you put that billboard up anywhere in the United States next to any highway, there would be an accident every eight seconds.

“Look at those tits! Look at those tits! Look at those tits!”

This is the way I, and I consider myself somewhat sexually mature, this is absolutely the way I reacted when that bus passed. I followed the bus.

I followed it for blocks, and then I realized that other buses had the billboard, so at that point I knew that I could sit in a cafe and they would bring the breasts to me. It took three days before I realized that there was writing on the billboard. And the writing, even though I didn’t speak Danish, I knew what it meant. It said, “New tits?” And I thought, “Wow.” I was stunned. An ad for breast enhancement. Because I thought that we were the only country that was obsessed with enhancing breasts. But even– even in Happytown, apparently they are a little disappointed in the titties. I have never understood the concept of breast enhancement. Never! It’s unnecessary surgery, unless you have a medical problem or a psychological one. What the [expletive] are you thinkin’? You’ve missed the cardinal rule of life. Every breast is a great breast! [APPLAUSE] And I know this from personal experience. Never have I looked down at a naked woman in my bed and thought… [BLOWS RASPBERRY] “Hoo! What a disappointment.” Usually I have to stop myself from crying, or saying something stupid like, “And I can play with them now?” When I was, um… When I was leaving there, I… I realized that I wanted to stay on, ’cause I wanted… I wanted that surgery for me. I did. I wasn’t transitioning. It had nothing to do with transitioning. I am not, and lucky enough, I’m not a woman caught in a man’s body. But I did want those tits here! Why would I put ’em on a woman? Why would I do that? Then I’d have to negotiate to see ’em. This way, they’re always with me, and they’re always glistening. [APPLAUSE]
"""

@memorylikeasieve with ozone being depleted if white higher chance of skin cancer. The fairer the skin the higher the chances.

@benhmiller I am like mostly indoors.

2

I don't really have a frame of reference for some of it. No-one's going to objectify something that looks like me. They never have. Then again, even if I were being objectified, I probably wouldn't recognise it.

I have been known to stare at ladies I find attractive, but I never have the courage to say anything, and I pretty much forget about them the moment they're out of sight.

I'm not objectifying you, but I find you very attractive.

2

They say... Prostitution is the Oldest Profession. Still Front and Center in Our Lives.

Second oldest profession, arms dealer

@Savage Yes, the arms dealer and weapon maker was created to provide means to get for free what was already an institution. Remember the attacks to other villages or clans always included "Rape and Pillage".

2

I hate seeing people in ads, period. I want to see what;s being ofered and details of cost and use, anything else is fluff. so, as you can imagine I hate ads and avoid like the plague

2

That would be wonderful, if that could happen. But, sex sells and gives people false expectations, that they seem to want. A lot of things/factors/mindsets would have to change in order for that to happen and I honestly don't know where you would begin...

I know. With ones own self.

2

A great idea but we are just animals and that sexual desire drives us for the most part. I mean I want to take part in meaningful intellectual conversations/discussions but if I have my choice...I would rather be having sex.
So while we can be PC and say the objectification of human anatomy is wrong and we shouldn't fall for it somewhere you are lying to yourself a little if you think we all don't do it to some extent.
"You and me baby aren't nothing but mammals lets do it like they do on the Discovery channel" *Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch**
Watch the video and listen to the lyrics...it is just funny...or offensive...maybe both depending on your bias.

@Akfishlady But with objectification it hardly matters what the criteria is right? Doesn't matter what is beautiful only that is objectified and used to sell or promote...
Anyway I really don't have a problem with it. Sex is necessary for the survival of the species so an instinct shared by nearly 100% of humans...one of the very few things we all have in common as far as life goals

1

objectification is how we dehumanize people to the extent that we go beyond simple ogling into such things as slavery it isn't just an attitude about what is or isn't beauty. it isn't even a matter of appreciating someone's physicality, which can be okay or can be objectifying -- we do tend to allow objectification to creep in. our focus on the prurient is both a symptom AND part of the underlying cause, but it is neither all by itself, and it is neither all of the time.

g

1

My 2 cents: objectification has been around for a long, long time. Many renaissance painters painted heavy set women as they were all the rage -- whereas skinny women had to improvise -- bussel (sp). Bathing in milk to lighten the skin, wearing white makeup, tanning to change the skin color. It isn't that humans find sex desirable, it is that we don't teach our children the pros and cons of sex or objectification. Most cultures don't really teach children about sex other than disease and pregnancy. Hence objectification will be with us. Note: it is beginning to swing back from the starving waifes to a more full-figured woman.

1

Yes I like to see myself in others to try to have the forth knowledge to understand them and most importantly be able to help them love you you can call me any time Joshua Hojian 7017815259

1

I think I've talked about this on other posts so I may be repeating myself... There is something to physical attraction but to me physical appearance and emotional health go together. I am physically attracted to women who seriously work out, especially if they have visible muscle. I am emotionally attracted to women who are intelligent and are emotionally insightful. However I am more likely to want to be with the latter as being with an emotionally healthy woman is easier than an unhealthy one. Doesn't matter how physically attractive a woman is, if she opens her mouth and says something truly offensive you can't get any uglier than that. I also must say physical ill health is quite commonly connected to emotional ill health too... Also my definition of physically attractive has become immensely more inclusive as I've gotten older.

Hmmm, it’s your attraction, so no one can really argue with it, but there are some underlying assumptions there...even a little bit of sexism. “If a woman opens her mouth and says something truly offensive, you can’t get uglier than that.” Men say truly offensive things to women’s ears multiple times on a daily basis, yet no one insists this is linked to their sexual attractiveness. Men often get “truly offended” by strong women who don’t let them get away with BS. I can understand why they don’t like it, because they are called out! If a girlfriend has a contrary opinion and makes it known loud and clear in front of a man’s friends, it seems it kills their bedroom performance. I find it very insecure of men. I say exactly what I want, when I want, and be damned if that makes me unattractive to any male. Men really need to get over themselves and setting standards for women to fall in line with.

@Livia I made my response personal. I thought about using gender neutral terms but that wouldn't be a personal response. I maybe could have been clearer about the assumed heterosexuality too but that is also me. I did not mean to exclude men from membership in the truly ugly category when saying something offensive. Again I'm talking about my experience with determining if a woman is attractive or not. To be specific I was remembering a woman I was attempting to develop a frienship with who more than once made an offensively racist statement. I'd hoped she'd never go there but I couldn't ignore anymore that deep down, unrepentant ugly I saw on her face. I am a straight, white male but as best I can I have tried to resocialize myself to be less and less masculine and to recognize the lie that is 'white'. I will continue this process with the goal of being able to listen to and take in the perspectives of those with different life experiences than my own. What I said had nothing to do with setting a physical standard of beauty or being intimidated by an opinionated, strong woman. I prefer, no I crave, openness and honesty in any kind of relationship. Sharing wants, needs and opinions is essential for any healthy relationship.

@kmdskit3 I love your answer! You turned it around ❤️

@Livia Thank you.

0

I believe all this can continue if it's done in a respectful manner.
For instance - if anyone wants to pose for a calender, and maybe be a bit (or a lot) provocative, to raise money for some cause - I will happily appreciate their efforts.

There will always be all types of perceived beauty, and all types of people to appreciate certain aspects of it.

There will also always be those that may choose to be be offended by, or judgemental of, some aspects as well . There's no pleasing everyone.

0

I'm not sure I understand the question. Are you saying would should look at something ugly and pretend it's pretty as to not hurt anyone's feelings? No one looks at a pile of shit and sees it's "inner beauty". Whatever ur looking at is either appealing to the eyes or its not. So if ya ask me, I who clearly haven't graced the covers of GQ Magazine, people should just accept their lot in life. If you're ugly, try and make up for it with personality sure...but don't throw a fit when Playboy turns ya down. If little Timmy fails a test miserably, don't give him a tin star for spelling his name right. When that same moron applies for a job at NASA, hand him a broom...cause that's the way it is. Stop telling people they're better then what they are, it just leads to a lifetime of disappointment. If they truly want to better themselves (looks too) there's steps they can take to do so. If they're not motivated enough to make the effort, then I could care less how they feel about it when my eyes or ears pass judgement. If anything, people like (you) should feel bad for filling their head full of the bullshit that has em so deluded.

Started off by saying I wasn't sure if understood the question, so I suppose it's possible. I don't think I missed it "completely" tho...did expand on it a bit. If ya care to enlighten me on where I went amiss, I'm all ears.

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