25 5

Do you fear death?

When my father died I was at an early age of 11 years, and it was then that I found out what death meant.

I knew he was gone forever. He would never come back. I could not wrap my mind around it.

Death terrifies and fascinates me. I try to push it down into a dark corner of my mind and it only resurfaces from time to time. It's number being quite a bit less than the many times one touches their face during a day.

I have sought answers for so long. Sometimes I get a small glimpse. Then they vanish into that deep dark abyss of what my reality knows will be.

It will be a nothing. Blackness. I don't suppose I will retain any conscious thought so it won't frighten me then as it does now. Still it is inevitable.

And what about all the people who have after life experiences? They remember with their last thoughts the picture of the room, see themselves on the table, journey outward and back in.

Is the soul nothing but energy? And this energy is thrust upon the world as a mass that is defined as human? Would the soul simply dissipate after the heart stops or the brain dies? So many questions. I guess one day I'll know for a brief moment. Or will I?

I only desire to spend the last few years with another who is of kindred spirit, mind, and thought. Who will hold me as I slip away and say you will not be forgotten.

JustLuAnn 7 Jan 18

Post a comment Reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account


Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.


Death is part of life. In one sense we live to die. The Irish have a saying, "The longer you live, the sooner you'll die." I personally don't believe in an afterlife or in reincarnation. We are chemistry and even though we have evolved to a highly complex organism, we stop being when the chemistry stops working. I believe that we should live the life now that we might desire as a "next" or afterlife. I recently read an article that described how the process of dying works with respect to our various senses and body systems. It was based on anecdotal evidence gleaned from observing many episodes of dying. Hearing was almost the last thing to go. This would support the value of music or other supportive and reassuring talk used to bring calm to a dying person. Don't worry about, heaven, hell or judgment after dying. We live now. Nothing goes on after us. The universal consciousness, if it exists at all, is just short one more soul when you die.

You know its only because of religion that makes me feel there is something. I just realized that from what you said Dwight. Excellent point. I watched my sweet Tim pass four years ago. I had never seen anyone die. I know I kept telling him how I loved him, over and over. I kept sharing all the things that we had done together. When I was saying I love him, he was in a comatose state and would not awaken but it seems to struggle and I heard him mumble, "I love you too." It was garbled but clear enough to understand. I guess he did hear me and responded. How difficult even that must have been for him.


I hope you find someone to be that comfort.

Thank you so much Treasurehunter. So do I.


Put your mind at ease. The issue of death is more simple than you make it. First, when we die, we cease to exist as an entity, except in the memories of others. There is nothing left of us to sense or feel anything.

Second there is no such thing as a soul. That is a myth created by religion. When you are gone, you are simply gone.

Third, these "near death experiences" are nothing more than manifestations of the central nervous system shutting down and struggling to maintain itself. They are not real.

Take comfort in the real finality of death.


Not at all. From the moment you exit the womb you are decaying and dieing


I do not fear death at all. My wish for everyone is that they become able to stop fearing it as well. There's nothing anyone can do to prevent it. Thinking about it wastes valuable time better spent living the life one has now.


I fear dying but not death

Yes Sir, a slow painful death. I just experienced in third person mind you... the last 3 weeks of my brother in law. From looking healthy while taking a lot prescriptions to death. The last week he lost a lot of weight. Heart was weak and failure of other organs was too much for his body to deal with. I saw him dying and in my eyes, same as everybody else including his wife, my sister... we expected him to recover and be with us today. He was 7 years my junior. But he left behind a lot of memories. Including finding an automatic .45 in a leather jacket, more than ten switchblades everywhere and more than one stack of porn hidden. He was a NYC streets trooper with 3 stints in prison and everything that means successfully Reformed until the end and is the only guy that bitched and constantly complaining about his job killing him and I do believe it did killed him, did those medications kept him alive until now or cut his life short? My sister will like to know. I fear dying but not death just like you.

yes watched my sister die of cancer and complications for 11 years and it was horrible. nearly a year ago now. id rather be shot.

I watched my sweet Tim die as well. I posted about it in an earlier entry. He was in such agonizing pain. When the government stopped his pain meds, that did it. He went into a hospice and died within 30 days.

I remember you posting that Ann or talking about it. just horrible for them. I think there should be euthanasia myself.


I do fear dying . Death not at all.

gearl Level 7 Jan 18, 2018

I don't fear death. Death is a natural ending to a life. What I do fear is a life unlived.

Gohan Level 7 Jan 18, 2018

Having come close to death 3 times in the last 9 years I stopped worrying about death itself. I want to live and experience as much as I can right now.


I am not afraid of death. I came to terms with it a long time ago. It's all part of the cycle of life. You're born, you live, and then you die. Now that being said I did not handle my mother's passing all that well and in a way I'm still dealing with it. All I can say is enjoy your life the best way you can. Also, I understand the desire to spend the your remaining years with someone who is a kindred spirit, I think that's normal, but that doesn't mean you need to stop enjoying your life. We only get one go around.


Thinking about death is quite normal ,its what makes us human and unique on this planet. It is part of being conscious. So you really cannot be fully alive without facing the fact you will one day die. If we lived forever it would be intolerable and we would surely go mad with boredom.Thinking about it it is best we do move over to let someone else be born and live and have experiences.It s also a comfort to realise you are not facing this alone or in isolation,you are not separate from the Universe you are very much part of it and everything you see or do or learn is part of a bigger process. you are not born separate and you will not die separate,everything is as it should be and there is really nothing to worry about ,.............its taken care of.

In the west we have grow to view death in a certain way that is all,its almost regarded as a nuisance or inconveneince to our lives,which is rather ridiculous,it really is not a negative thing at all.Suffering on the other hand is probably harder to deal with,dying is as easy as falling off a log. We would become very tired of life if we did not have this ultimate release.

I find Alan Watts is very good at talking about this stuff,he was a zen Bhuddist and I love the soothing sound if his voice

one of his many talks on death here


Less and less.. But my young adult daughters do… So I get to talk them down 🙂 I’ve described life as a cycle, having completed the reproduction and nurturing part, I’m far less concerned with death, though I’ve now far more time to ponder it..

Death punctuates life, making everything you’ve done or influenced more significant. To some, in pain or a slow demise, I suspect it’s welcome. More and more I find the fear of death to be a major motivation of the religious. But they’re promised something an honest person cannot guarantee.

A fellow poster, ‘Treehugger’ I believe, had suggested the book, A World Lit Only By Fire. I’ve found it on audio (Hoopla) … and though it’s deep & dark.. vividly describing The Dark Ages, where life expectancy would have ended mine 20 years ago … and both my daughter’s would already have reached the extent of theirs ..I suppose some perspective helps... Please don’t fear it though, and you’re not really alone it’s the fear and fate of everyone.

Varn Level 8 Jan 18, 2018

I don't fear death, I had lived for too long to be satisfied even if I still want more, a lot more because I like it here. But the pain of those that may love me and will miss me not being around is my only concern and worry pertaining death.


Every night when I go to sleep, I think about the consequences if I do not wake up as if I am committing suicide. I end up thinking: Being alive is SO MUCH WORK, and having experienced so many pleasures of life, I imagine missing out on life's possibilities to be meh.
And then I am awake in the morning thinking to myself: oh fuck


I'm not afraid of dying, only the pain that may come before death. I gave myself up for dead in 1967. For a while I would wake up each morning surprised that I was still alive. I would think; "Oh well, I'll just see what little joy I can find in this day because this will be my last". Such was my alcoholism. I have never feared death since.


I really don't fear death... dying on the other hand, frightens me.

I too have lost many that I love... spectacularly... and it's something very difficult for the mind to wrap itself around. That's because we are not used to "not being." Even when we're sleeping, we're dreaming, and so there's still some form of consciousness at work.

I think the best way to look at is is within the context of a surgery or medical procedure. If you've ever had to have anesthesia administered to you, you'll notice that the moment the anesthesia takes affect, you're gone. You don't feel anything, you have no awareness. When they wake you up, you remember nothing past the moment you 'fell asleep.'

But I think it's okay to fear it. I think that as humans we do many things around death. We fear it, we anticipate it, we court it, we play with it, we ignore it, we pretend we can beat it... but ultimately we know, nobody gets out of here alive. All of those responses are how the mind has figured out how to deal with the ultimate. We are capable of having all those feelings at the same time, and we've been taught to run away from them, but if we get to know them, they become allies. They can help us get more out of life and even more out of death.

I find your words a comfort Benthoven. I agree with you, we fear it, anticipate and play with it but nobody gets out alive. I think it also helps me get more out of life as well. Great post.


Maybe the problem is that you try to shut it out of your life. Your fear might block your freedom of living your life in the fullest. Death is the only security that a child gets when its is leaving its mothers womb. A child doesn't matter and tends to be quite happy in whatever circumstances it lives. Thinking about death is not to be hidden away as it is part of life as we know it. Sure, it is the end of the life you apparently love. Yes, there are a lot of after-death experiences, proofs of reincarnations. Not that there is hard proof, as nobody really comes back to tell how it really is. That's also what religion uses. They can tell stories about how the afterlife is because nobody returns to tell how it really is. Scientists still are not fully convinced that there is nothing left when someone dies, so why bother. Maybe there is some soul, maybe there isn't whatever, you can't change it. If the "nothing" is all you get, than there is not even blackness. But you can still hope, even if you are not religious and you don't believe in a "heaven" or something like that. Enjoy your life as much as you can with others. People will remind you anyway, even if you hardly can expect that you are in someone's conscious mind all the time. Don't be afraid. You were not afraid about the time before you were born, I guess that after death it will be something like that.

Gert Level 7 Jan 18, 2018

I don't fear it in the slightest and I don't question what happens in an afterlife - have no concern for my soul.
I have what I have now.
And if there is more, cool.


I would love to fear death but I am in a place in which I fear the moment. In the moment there is loneliness, abandonment, and poverty.

Death brings relief which is a terrible thought process no matter how true.

MikeJ Level 4 Jan 18, 2018

My Tim always used to say he didn't fear death. He welcomed it to be free of the pain.


I do not fear dying just part of life. I do hope that I have enough time to give my kids a grasp on the skills of survival that I have learned.


I was ready to die 8 years ago. Since then I feel like I've been living this weird bonus round that doesn't count.

So, no.


I have died... during surgery... I was not aware of course. Finding out afterwards was terrifying to me. My kids were still young. Now that my kids are grown, I fear it less... or perhaps not at all. The responsibility to be here and care for my kids is over. My life still has meaning, but there is a calm when that kind of job ends.

I could go today, tomorrow or many years from now. I look at it like this now: I have no control over it. I will go when I go. I love life, so I live it how I wish. I enjoy pals and family, job and hobbies. If I died today, I have had a great life so why worry about it? So, I don't.

What a peace you have. Do you remember anything from your experience?

@JustLuAnn not a thing.. apparently I coded 3 times. That was an excitement that I'm happy to have missed. 😛 I sometimes wonder what happens when we die... I obviously don't believe in a heaven/hell sort of end or beginning... but whatever that is, my life here will have ended. That if it exists will be a new beginning. 🙂 Best to worry about what I'm doing now, eh? I have knitting to finish! LOL Have a wonderful day!


I don't fear death. I have experienced many glimpses of what I consider to be past life adventures. So much so that I don't consider there is an "end" but only transition. I do not think our identity or it's attributes in this life carry forward, I think who and what we are and have always been is what is carried forward. Check out Michael Newton on Youtube.


Not at all. Concerns about suffering a long lingering death perhaps but not death itself.


I don't fear my death very much. I ride a Harley and have lost to many friends. Some right in front of me. I've lost my mother as well last year. I hate that death can take those I care about away so permanently but for myself I'm like Clemens,

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."
Mark Twain.

I'm afraid of dying painfully of course but just see death as nothing. I'll take that over a heaven and a hell any day.

Write Comment
You candd include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:16211
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.