Dump his dumbass and find yourself a guy who likes you for who you are.... Stop wasting time with people who tear you down...

Green Eyes has the best solution!

Forget him, enjoy it with yourself

Find a new partner,

I was in a terrible relationship for 18 years. (12 I thought we're good until i looked wuth hindsight) there was actually a sexual encounter between my ex and i where i just couldn't look at him one more minute. (Verbally, physically, intellectually and emotionally abusive) he was taken aback and said, 'as bad as it gets, i thought sex was always good.' ... And it was. I just couldn't get over the hump of allowing him one more minute inside me, figuratively and literally. It was 7 years later that we actually separated for good. I don't know your relationship, but if the bad starts to outweigh the good, you have to think about what you are staying around for. And if it's sex for some kind of power or control that you are trying to recover, I'm not sure there is any advice I can give you, other than to consider why its not happening already.

Why do you think you deserve to be treated like that ?

And why oh why would you ever think that he deserves to have sex with you after berating you !?

Make him your ex-partner.

Then you might start to enjoy sex again.

Put yourself in a coma

Why on earth do you want that? Not healthy.

The simple answer is to start having it with someone who you find attractive, and who finds you attractive as well. Based solely on your depiction of the scenario he sounds like a prick.

Why are you with him? This doesn't sound like a healthy loving relationship to me.

Ask yourself: Wouldn't you want to be intimate with someone who appreciates you and who you would enjoy it with?

You've had excellent advice here (below.) PLEASE remember that you deserve a life which doesn't involve "forcing" yourself to do anything! This man is abusing you. You don't deserve that! Yes...you can get away and yes...you can have a happy life. Away from him.

He doesn't love or care about you and how you feel and expects you to be there to take care of his needs. People like this never change and don't deserve your love. There are many people out there who want to love. Do yourself a favor and seek help in getting away from this individual. He's not worth it. Be good to yourself.

Why would you force yourself to do something you don't want to? Why would you deliberately deceive him? Just be honest with yourself and with him. If that's not safe, then leave the relationship, with outside help / support if necessary.

You're being mistreated and gaslighted. No woman is responsible for faking a physical response despite real feelings.

My wife doesn't "put out" much either, if you want to use that crude term for it, but in her case it has to do with a lifetime of self-loathing and feelings of unworthiness due to severely dysfunctional parenting. It is possible that something like that is in the mix here, independent of your partner's actions and attitudes ... but he's also massively contributing to the problem. It's all a continuum / pattern of abuse. Love yourself enough to free yourself from it. It's possible to find someone who breaks the pattern rather than perpetuating and reinforcing it.

Words do matter they are our non magical wand that make things happen. Berating and abusive words surely do not inspire any desire for intimacy. My thought is run, not walk to the nearest exit from this relationship. Abuse only gets worse, no amount is acceptable.

Don't have sex with this person anymore and leave as soon as it's safe to do so.

Please leave this relationship. Get counselling from a trained professional well versed in domestic abuse.

Sex should be enjoyable for you. If it's not, don't do it.

FACT~ There are no circumstances under which a person can be intentionally abused by someone who loves them.

FACT~ Unless held physically captive against their will, isolated and locked away; there are no circumstances under which a person who has self-love and respect will allow themselves to be abused verbally or physically by another person. The 'relationship' doesn't matter.

There are people because of abysmal self-esteem or self anger or hatred who both abuse themselves directly in self-destructive ways and by proxy, by finding someone else to reinforce their self-loathing or guilt or any number of excuses for inclusion in their lives.

All of these things and more are based on beliefs held that are not so, and most of the time, that are embossed on their minds before their minds developed (or were free to develop) reasoning capacity. The abuse actually becomes a 'substitute' for it's opposites of affection, admiration, trust, nourishment and protection; and yes, love.

Absence of genuine love and affection makes us sick, emotionally and physically (they are actually one). Your environment, as described is pathogenic and will shorten your life; filling what is left of it with increasing pain. Many use children as an excuse for the sacrifice or financial dependency. There are solutions There are also shelters that can assist as a 'half-way' step to starting life anew.

Cognitive therapy can be a crutch but can also be expensive; prohibitively so. Natural cognitive therapy is a permanent separation from the poisonous environment; escaping to ANYTHING new and far away with NO connections.

In your current environment, you, not your abuser, are your worst enemy. Look in a mirror and address your complaints and the part of you that still holds life as valuable and potentially promising will have to stage an internal mutiny and rescue operation. You must, obviously, protect any children but don't allow concern for anything else, pets included, to undermine the resolve. If you weren't important, with life potential ahead of you, you wouldn't still be around or have the courage to reach out for help.

If you take those preliminary steps and free yourself to relatives, a shelter, etc. and are free of children or a safe place for them to be cared for temporarily, for some months, message me. There are some solutions enabling people to find nourishing living and work environments that enable long-term healing and correction. I might be able to help in terms of guidance in that regard.

You are not going to enjoy sex with anyone if you need advice on how to force yourself to sleep with someone who abuses you.

You need advice on how to increase your self respect and self esteem.

But if you insist on going down this road, drink a bunch of alcohol sheesh

do not let your own thinking be dictated by their mentality. sounds like you need to get out from under that relationship sooner than later....

There’s no way to “fake” it with an abuser. You need to start planning your exit covertly. Start socking small amounts of money away that he won’t notice. I don’t know if you have a job outside of the home, but it’s time to get some independence. Seek some help from your family if you are able or community resources. You are never alone, abusers want you to feel that way. It keeps you groveling back.

This is abuse. I'm sorry to say. I know it's hard to see and admit. But you will need to make a plan to leave. It will not get better. It's not your "job" to have sex with him. You are in a partnership where you should both respect eachother. He's not respecting you. ?

You need to leave. The abuse will continue and your mental health will suffer. He sounds like he gets a kick out of seeing your self exteem plummet. You can’t allow it to continue, believe me you cannot please him ever. He is a sadist, and you are enabling him to feel the thrill of debasing and demoralising you by staying around and even looking for ways to please him. Sex should most certainly be the last thing you should be trying to please him with. Just go.

Wow that sounds like mission impossible and very likely things you won't like to hear will/must be said so, I am going to have to pass. Best of luck, hope you will find the right answers

If "words don't matter" why is he using them to attack you? This is abuse. Why would you want to force yourself to be intimate with a toxic person who deliberately causes you emotional pain. I can't think of a bigger turn-off. Perhaps if you explain to him how he is sabotaging his own sex life, he may get a clue. But seriously, it sounds like he's far too selfish to care.