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This site requires usage ... to gain points ... to be able to see more dating profiles and to be allowed to communicate with them. I get it - activity/use/spread the word/new members etc, but it's also restrictive and patronizing. some of us don't have time to write 40 posts like this, and to "like" other's comments, just to get enough points and find a little love. Or maybe a lot of love, which is why we do it anyway. pavlov / mice in the maze / etc. thoughts? fyi, I'm on another dating site that requires a paid membership. They all need to survive and even prosper, but ...

JCinDenver 3 Jan 22

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Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

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I personally want to know a little about a person before considering dating them. The requirement to post/like gives me a little insite into said person. I really get tired of emails from people who not only have not read my profile, but send obvious form letters. At least when they post something I have something to go on.

this is EXACTLY how I see it πŸ™‚


We are more than a dating site-I was on 4 different ones-trust me. You get to use your brain and see if a potential mate has a brain. Some of us have been messaging for a month or so and starting to meet each other. Its up to you. What you put in you can possibly take out. Show a prospective mate you care enough to do the work. If not you shouldn't be here.


It is kind of like leveling up in a video game except is way more intelligent.

azzow2 Level 9 Jan 22, 2018

The point system is only as important as you decide to make it. I certainly don't write a bunch of posts - I participate when I'm able, or in the mood.

I see being on dating sites no different than many things in life. Little effort in generally results in not much of an outcome. But then - the opposite also tends to be true.

Your call ...


You get out of it what you put into it. Just like everything else.


Thanks for the post! We just made a change yesterday to make it a bit easier for new members to reach level 2 (writing a bio and answering profile questions now get points). As a non-profit, we don't want to charge for the site... but do realize that time=money so we might consider some alternatives.

Admin Level 8 Jan 22, 2018

an occasional 5 day period that boosts a members level by one or two notches, allowing more access, probably enticing the user to engage more to get back to that higher level after the "bump" period is over? maybe around christmas and easter - a passive message sent to believers?

Are we going to get people like this guy who don't care?

It seems to me that the main complaints in the original post stem from a lack of knowledge of what benefits become available at what level.


hang in there. its a really interesting site. almost as good as that cheese dip they have at Super Bowl parties.


I find that this isn’t really the best site for dating anyways. This group seems to be primarily discussion group with a side bar for dating.

Myah Level 6 Jan 22, 2018

I hope it is not against the rules to promote outside sites. Here are some dating sites that a free member can at least have some communication with other members: (best in my opinion),, (mostly scammers but can be fun). (more scammers). As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good luck and I wish you well and success in finding what you are searching for here and in your life.

nicely phrased

Got to mention those ones that put their phone number with text me across the picture or on t-shirt have seen that on zoosk.


You are NOT paying "points" or anything else are required to get into the "dating" area...but if what you are looking for is mostly a dating site, may I suggest Plenty of Fish? This is primarily a discussion site for agnostics, atheists, and, increasingly, trolls. And the "points" you so hastily denigrate, are simply a measure of your comments, posts, other contributions, to encourage you to participate. Ooohhh, how evil!

The points add fun to this site. I find it fun.


It's a two edged sword for sure. I like that it encourages participation. That's something severely lacking in other places. On the other hand, rewards for making posts also encourages a lot of drivel, which hasn't been a problem here so far, but will be as the site gains more members.

d_day Level 7 Jan 22, 2018

I love this site because everyone here is intelligent and each one of us knows something that someone else doesn't. Everyone here is awesome to talk to. I'm excluding the trolls though. Have fun and talk with people. You might find someone.


Why so concerned? None of what you intimated actually occurs. I am not here for the dating aspect, but I understand that there are quite a few who are. You are one of them and I wonder, how do you expect to line up a date potential without much in the way of input? If you can't engage in a bit of conversation, how do you expect to attract anyone? The magical allure of your profile? Not being a smart ass here, just genuinely curious.


I enjoy the posts and comments and intelligent discussions on this site. Freethinkers are not the kind of people that I meet in my work and personal environment. I like this site and I like the humor and everyone having an intelligent and unique opinion on all different subjects. I have not tried to contact anyone here for dating or a relationship, but maybe one day I might find someone who has similar non-beliefs as I do and hit it off. Who knows? I enjoy the community here.


I had no idea the points meant anything. Assumed it was like Whose Line. I'll follow you to get you some pointers.


I wouldn't mind if it was even more difficult to gain access.

skado Level 8 Jan 22, 2018

Doesn't take that many posts or likes to level up to see everybody. Patience!


Oh Boy! I checked in to find 396 comments! A new record!

(Made you look)

Seriously, there are many more comments to my post than I had anticipated. Some are helpful but some of you seem to be a bit more, shall we say, judgemental than others? To the latter group I offer that you pray for patience and do the rosary or whatever it is folks do. I thought I was simply pointing something out, with a little added salt. I too will pray for patience next time. Truth is I was posting to make a legitimate point annnnnnnnd because posting helps me get points ... so I picked a topic that was on my mind, something other than religion or politics. It seems that the unexpected number of likes, unlikes, suggestions, well-wishes and death wishes from you folks added those points and helped me jump a couple levels - thank you very much.

Agnostics and atheists are opinionated but let's hope it comes with a serving of nicety rather than judgement when we talk outside the site.

Be well, folks. I'll post another little comment inducing bomb when I need to get to the top level. : ) ; ) and hugs


I’m just curious, does it take you a long time to type?


...'no pain, no gain', remember? You want it handed to you on a 'silver platter' me thinks! Good luck with that!


I much prefer having a dating site merged with a forum, it lets me have enjoyable, intelligent discussions and see what potential partners think about topics that matter to me. It is much better than dealing with the fake accounts, scammers, and people who think a relationship is feasible from 7000 miles away.

The last time I was on a 'regular' dating site the closest person to reply or message was from the west coast, I live in Maine. Most of the others were from Russia and southeast Asia. I would really like to have a boyfriend, but would prefer one I can sit across the table from and actually touch without having to plan a vacation to the other side of the country or planet.


I like that this site requires usage. Seems like an intelligent place to meet someone. Better than POF or OK Cupid where guys seem to just grunt. I have been dating online since the late nineties and I love it. Lots of ups and downs but worth it all.


I dunno. I like it.

Yeah, I’d like to meet someone and develop something genuine, but I think that this helps.

If they post, I get to read what they think and feel out their opinions. Which, to me, is the heart of a relationship anyway. Intellectual compatibility.


Mirth Level 4 Jan 22, 2018
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