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17 28

Apparently I’m banned from the Walmart in Grants Pass.  They've kept good records on me I guess!! I'm okay with that though!
I just received this letter from Walmart’s corporate office:

Dear Sheannutt

Over the past several months you have caused quite a commotion in our store.. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban you from the store. Complaints against you are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

  1. June 15: You took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

  2. June 20: You set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

  3. July 13: You made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

  4. July 19: you walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

  5. August 4: You went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

  6. August 14: You moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

  7. August 18: When a clerk asked if they could help you, you began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called...

  8. August 21: you looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while you picked your nose.

  9. August 26: While handling guns in the hunting department, you asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

  10. Aug 28: You darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

  11. Sept 3: In the auto department, you practiced your ‘Madonna look' by using different sized funnels.

  12. Sept 5: you hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, you yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14.Sept 6: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, you assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

  1. Sept 7: You went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Sincerely, Walmart's corporate office.

By Sheannutt9
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17 comments

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1

If this a true statement...you need to get a ‘real’ life!’ You are bordering on deviant behavior!

1
1

OMG! OMG! Roflmao!

1

Oh, I needed a laugh! Thank you!

bleurowz Level 8 Sep 20, 2018
1

LOL. But we all know #18 isn't true. You can never get help in wmart.

freeofgod Level 8 Sep 19, 2018
1

Lol

t1nick Level 8 Sep 19, 2018
1

I think we could have some serious fun together.

1

Gotta break up the boredom ya know.

4

Wow! You’re clever beyond words!

4

Holy Mother of the Rascal Scooter! What do you have to do to get banned from WalMart? Well, I guess you showed us.

I thought it was something more like: Showing up fully dressed to go shopping?
Or speaking in full sentences.
Doing advanced mathematical equations that look like terrorist symbols.
Pulling your pants up past your crack...

Benthoven Level 8 Sep 19, 2018
3

You sound like my kind of person!

Bobby9 Level 8 Sep 19, 2018
3

Well done!

5

That was hilarious !!!!

Luiggi Level 4 Sep 19, 2018
8

These are great! Being banned from Walmart would be a very prestigious honor, and hopefully worthy of a commemorative letter in a frame for proud display. Of course, with that would be the tacit admission that you DID go into the store in the first place. A toss-up, for sure.

Byrdsfan Level 8 Sep 19, 2018
7

that's why I hate going in there..... it's such a large place to try and cause pandemonium... and they act like they own the place.

hankster Level 9 Sep 19, 2018
5

I laughed so hard I had to hit my inhaler.

glennlab Level 9 Sep 19, 2018
8

Some great ideas to make your Walmart shopping experience more entertaining.........

Dhiltong Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

I was thinking pretty much the same. “Hmmm, why have I never thiught of doing this?” I must admit that I never shop at Walmart, however.

@MissKathleen I try to avoid Walmart as much as possible as well......

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