I tend to like people who share some of my interests, but not all.
We can share some time, but that will leave me to explore life alone.
Personally, I like a man who enjoys sports, concerts, movies. Great things to do together.
I also like to visit museums alone. So I don't feel rushed through the exhibits.
More than common interests is common values. I'm interested in most anything if it is approached with passion and sincerity. If she doesn't value introspection, keeping fidelity to objectivity as much as possible, joy over fear, and personal responsibility, then we aren't going to get along well no matter how much she loves Ren and Stimpy.
What works best for me, is interests/activities in common, that can be shared. But I also need there to be separate interests and activities, that each can savor alone. Then it's satisfying to come together afterwards and share the different experiences, along with being able to relate to the world as an individual.
After 48 years, I find I have less in common with my partner than when we first became a couple. I believe in life long learning and have embraced a broad spectrum of interests. Although some of these coincide with hers, she has lost interest in some original common ones and has not ventured much in new ones. Sometimes I am saddened by this turn of events, but I still find joy in learning new things. It is still an "until death do you part" situation for me, but I sure miss the great times we had in the beginning of our relationship.
Common, not identical, interests are critical. I want to like the person too. I am not seeking a carbon copy of myself but certainly there must be some genuine overlap. Politically and religiously however the interests/beliefs really do need to be close.
As a married couple of 27 years,my late wife would sew or make a quilt while I was nearby on the computer,I'd show her how to use my woodworking power tools,and all the needed safety requirements,when using them. She had her hobbies and interests,and I had mine. It worked out wonderful.
I think there needs to be some overlap in interests, just to be practical — what do you do together if you don't share anything in common? — but I also think it's important for everyone to have their own lives, other interests, different circles of friends, because those differences are what we use to add flavor to the stew of the relationship, a little infusion from outside to keep things spiced up. Otherwise, it's just two people with the same thoughts, the same experiences, the same interests, the same perspective, and that's bound to get old and get boring.
Recently this boy i fell hard for told me we are too much alike to ever be together (after he told me he lived me and asked me to move in with him - like same day after??) . too alike to ever be together. The thing is, i feel like we had nothing in common. Still, like i said, i fell hard. Truth be told, i still like him too much. So, he had this perception that was the complete opposite of mine. I think we liked spending time together and enjoyed finding out about each others likes/dislikes.... My favorite people are those with whom i genuinely share interests. But coupling up, in my opinion, doesnt necesarily fit into that constraint. I suppose its how much tolerance folks have for exploration??
I don't think it matters. Because...when building a life together, you FIND what you want to do together, and what you need to do alone. And, then you make time to do the partner things together, and respect each other's time needed to do things alone. It's the give and take in a relationship that you determine because you want the relationship to last.
You gotta talk about something. As the relationship develops, with luck, you get more and more common interests. Not to say you both ought to have the same ones, but it helps to have a couple that you do share, and I believe it's a good thing to have a couple that you don't share.