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Are common interests important to you?

I tend to like people who share some of my interests, but not all.
We can share some time, but that will leave me to explore life alone.
Personally, I like a man who enjoys sports, concerts, movies. Great things to do together.
I also like to visit museums alone. So I don't feel rushed through the exhibits.

By Nichole7657
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Common interests are important. However, it's hard to find people who like ferret racing, collecting snake skins, stalking celebrities and grave digging.

Rudy1962 Level 9 Sep 20, 2018

I think you have it just about right. Some things are better shared, but there's value in doing enjoyable things separately.


More than common interests is common values. I'm interested in most anything if it is approached with passion and sincerity. If she doesn't value introspection, keeping fidelity to objectivity as much as possible, joy over fear, and personal responsibility, then we aren't going to get along well no matter how much she loves Ren and Stimpy.



What works best for me, is interests/activities in common, that can be shared. But I also need there to be separate interests and activities, that each can savor alone. Then it's satisfying to come together afterwards and share the different experiences, along with being able to relate to the world as an individual.

evergreen Level 8 Sep 19, 2018

After 48 years, I find I have less in common with my partner than when we first became a couple. I believe in life long learning and have embraced a broad spectrum of interests. Although some of these coincide with hers, she has lost interest in some original common ones and has not ventured much in new ones. Sometimes I am saddened by this turn of events, but I still find joy in learning new things. It is still an "until death do you part" situation for me, but I sure miss the great times we had in the beginning of our relationship.

Dwight Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

Common, not identical, interests are critical. I want to like the person too. I am not seeking a carbon copy of myself but certainly there must be some genuine overlap. Politically and religiously however the interests/beliefs really do need to be close.

Skeptic66 Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

Yeah. I've ended relationships due to religious and political indifference.

@Nichole765 I could not continue them either.


Completely agree. Some common and some new things to discover.

ArtzyNerd Level 7 Sep 20, 2018

Definitely some shared interests, but there absolutely has to be me time. I may be wrong, (I am about a lot of things) but personal time is essential to any kind of a successful relationship.

Holysocks Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

If there weren't common interests what would make you even want to speak with that person beyond the first time? I mean, once the physical attraction dried up there would be nothing to talk about.

GwenC Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

For reference, how long does sexual attraction take to "dry up"?


As a married couple of 27 years,my late wife would sew or make a quilt while I was nearby on the computer,I'd show her how to use my woodworking power tools,and all the needed safety requirements,when using them. She had her hobbies and interests,and I had mine. It worked out wonderful.

Mike1947 Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

Some common interests are great and it's a way break the ice and create a bond but I don't want a male me. I'd like to even be able to even introduce new interests to him and vice-versa. We need to be our own though not Legion.

Dandewine Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

Yeah for sure but it doesn't have to be everything, I quite like getting to know something new and enjoying my partners enthusiasm for something smile001.gif

ipdg77 Level 8 Sep 19, 2018

That's true. When I meet someone who has a true passion for something, And patience to teach me, I'm very intrigued.


I prefer to have a few common interests. Gives us stuff to do and talk about together. It can't be all sex...

Minta79 Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

I agree on the museums strategy. Unless there is a common passionate interest in the exhibits being visited, someone is bound to become uncomfortable with the pace.

Byrdsfan Level 8 Sep 20, 2018

@Rainbow Oh definitely!


The similar interests are, for me, the initial attraction. The differences are what bring people closer. When care enough about the other person to want to learn about the're hooked.

Btbd Level 7 Sep 20, 2018

I completely agree. It's annoyingly difficult to find a partner who is comfortable with the concept of alone-time, I've found, but it is something that I need very much to supplement and compliment the shared time.

Hordo Level 6 Sep 20, 2018

I think there needs to be some overlap in interests, just to be practical — what do you do together if you don't share anything in common? — but I also think it's important for everyone to have their own lives, other interests, different circles of friends, because those differences are what we use to add flavor to the stew of the relationship, a little infusion from outside to keep things spiced up. Otherwise, it's just two people with the same thoughts, the same experiences, the same interests, the same perspective, and that's bound to get old and get boring.

resserts Level 8 Sep 19, 2018

Yes! I'm very passionate about what I care about. Music, politics, hobbies...I seek partners. I've dated (and married) non like minded and felt very alone.

OwlRN Level 4 Sep 19, 2018

Recently this boy i fell hard for told me we are too much alike to ever be together (after he told me he lived me and asked me to move in with him - like same day after??) . too alike to ever be together. The thing is, i feel like we had nothing in common. Still, like i said, i fell hard. Truth be told, i still like him too much. So, he had this perception that was the complete opposite of mine. I think we liked spending time together and enjoyed finding out about each others likes/dislikes.... My favorite people are those with whom i genuinely share interests. But coupling up, in my opinion, doesnt necesarily fit into that constraint. I suppose its how much tolerance folks have for exploration??


I don't think it matters. Because...when building a life together, you FIND what you want to do together, and what you need to do alone. And, then you make time to do the partner things together, and respect each other's time needed to do things alone. It's the give and take in a relationship that you determine because you want the relationship to last.

linxminx Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

You gotta talk about something. As the relationship develops, with luck, you get more and more common interests. Not to say you both ought to have the same ones, but it helps to have a couple that you do share, and I believe it's a good thing to have a couple that you don't share.

zeuser Level 8 Sep 19, 2018

It's better to have more things in common than less. I'm always happy when I can share a hobby with my partner. Own space is also important to not suffocate in a relationship.

Agnieszka Level 7 Sep 19, 2018

Yes, very. Shared interests and passions are important. Probably around 60% to 70% would be ideal.


Not always important. Though I would say you should have some. And you certainly shouldn’t have interests they loath.

JDRay Level 5 Sep 19, 2018

Everyone needs their own life. I wouldn’t care to be attached at the hip.


Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking.

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