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22 8

Friends with benefits OK?

We talked about multiple partners. Is friends witb benefits the same? Is tha pk?

By BucketlistBob8
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22 comments

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12

I have one friend like that. We both have needs that we can meet sexually.

Sarahroo29 Level 8 Jan 31, 2018

So true. Some people aren't lucky enough to be able to find love easily OR some might not want to commit to a full relationship, but we all like sex in a trusting environment. I have friends who have been burned in dating relationships and who just aren't ready to date again, but they enjoy fooling around with friends they trust. Who knows, that might develop into more or it might just be an outlet for their sexual needs, but if they are both happy then who cares!

8

It works for a while until one partner wants more

Babyseal Level 6 Jan 31, 2018
8

if thry have health insurance that covers me that would be great

btroje Level 9 Jan 31, 2018

@twshield what about other benefits like vacations and sick leave?

Move to somewhere like the UK with free heath cover and take your pick lol
PS.My address is available on demand

7

After I divorced my ex husband I was gun shy when it came to relationships for a good 10 years. Really, it was PTSD, but the thought of a committed relationship was terrifying to me. I had a couple of friends with benefits during those times. Worked out great for me.

Tecolote Level 7 Jan 31, 2018

@ScienceBiker Completely objective here -- just because people have not "complained" (or offered suggestions, room for improvement, etc.) about their partner does not at all mean they have not had the thoughts, complaints or criticisms inside their own heads. They may have kept quiet to avoid hurting their partner's feelings or egos; or they may have been too timid to share.

@ScienceBiker You're just gonna have to get back on that horse. No bestiality pun intended.

@ScienceBiker, we could probably swap horror stories. It sucks to lose your sense of self-worth when the one who is supposed to love you forever can't or won't. Keep your chin up, friend!

7

I think friends with benefits is very hard for a woman because there is so much emotion involved. I'm not saying that there aren't woman out there that can't keep there emotions separate, but I think for most, myself included, we love with our heart.

geeky1965 Level 6 Jan 31, 2018

Interestingly, the only friends that I know have tried this are women and they were choosing not to look for a boyfriend because they weren't ready to date, but were happy to fool around with single guy friends that they really trusted.

7

Ok so long as both partners understand and agree up front. Most that I have known of have either developed (one sided) romantic feelings or ruined the friendship. It's not for me, but that does not have any impact on others for whom it suits.

Zster Level 8 Jan 31, 2018
6

a friend is the most important part of this and not the benefits so much I think. I would have a one-off sex date but there would have to be some basic honesty but it's not what I really want. I would love to find a woman who has her own house and life but we are an item and don't cheat on each other.

exactly @Dida and better put than I did it.

you know I think I dad madam lol

5

I have been doing it for 50 years and, to the best of my knowledge, everyone was a winner. (IMHO)

jlynn37 Level 8 Jan 31, 2018

Great attitude...

4

Absolutely..cause you can tell them to go home afterwards..

Charlene Level 9 Jan 31, 2018

Well.... us guys can't do that... but the gals can... if he wants to continue... lol...

And include, "see you next weekend", if it is what both would want.

4

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Truly depends on the friendship

TheRevjoe Level 6 Jan 31, 2018
4

If that is what someone is willing to settle for, it's ok by me. For me, not so much.

Though it's not for me either, I think many (not all, of course) people consciously choose this arrangement for one reason or another (probably primarily physical) and feel content rather than that they are settling.

4

Its easy to give someone more than they can handle, when they start catching feelings you need to know when to keep them at arms length without hurting them badly. I have never caught feelings in this type of relationship, but I would want them to stop me if they thought I was falling for them.

4

It's as close to lovin as I have been in recent years, all honest, no secrets.

Rugglesby Level 8 Jan 31, 2018
3

If someone can handle that arrangement, more power to them!

BlueWave Level 8 Jan 31, 2018
2

I've been in a friends with bennies relationship before. It was exciting and fun and when it ended it was on good terms. No regrets, ho harm.
I have another "friend" who's interested in this arrangement, but I'll need to move first. Maybe soon I hope. smile009.gif

Paul628 Level 8 Jan 31, 2018
2

ok, but not great.

hankster Level 9 Jan 31, 2018
1

Friends with benefits sounds good to me,if that benefit is sex

It's what ever you all decide to do for each other .
It includes sex...

1

I don't know what to tell you... we need to have a fight... but never happens... so here we are. With more questions than answers. And that... "what do we want?" Every 10 years... revisited, because we never said goodbye or threw a "Fuck You" as send off note. We just are... until one of us die. 2 planets in a universe just being. Putting distance between us... to be removed because we want to play with fire once in a while. So we are. The whispers we hear... close and far... the "he's back" or "she just went". And they wonder. Because we never broken up to say goodbye.

1

I'm all for it, but it's difficult. You have to find someone you're physically attracted to and good friends with, but at the same time, not romantically interested in. I've had multiple FWBs in the past. One even lasted seven years, on and off (we broke whenever either of us was in an actual relationship). However, that one ended when she decided she wanted to convert it to a real relationship.

Vtinga Level 3 Jan 31, 2018
1

Absolutely. I find women who have or have ad FWBs more attractive, because it tells me that they're not hung p on societal norms, and aren't afraid to go after what they want.

Vtinga Level 3 Jan 31, 2018
1

No offence Bob but you're not my kind of gal smile009.gif But seriously, if 2 adults want to fool around then why not? They might get their feelings hurt or they might enjoy the whole thing and something more might come of it ... they go in with open eyes and life is for living and learning.

ChrisR Level 6 Jan 31, 2018

Awww hell brother.... I've never been the girl even though I have been screwed in life...lol.

0

Been there done that and I have to say it`s a bit too clinical for my tastes. Not that I am looking for yet a another long term partner but some emotional entanglement is a must for me now. When I go swimming I want to get my hair wet. Give me a head over heals love affair any day. It may go arse over tit but I want that fall from grace.

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