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34 8

Humour.. What are the worst things you could say or have said after sex?
Your mother always makes me a sandwich after.....
What was your name again?
High five
You look like my Mother
..... 😉 Add away

#mother #sex
Sacha 7 Jan 31
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34 comments

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12

Level 8

OK, I swear this is true and it actually happened to me.
Just as we were finishing the deed one night, a girl I had known for over 10 years looked at me and said, "I am sorry, but who are you?"
Sounds like a joke right? Then she asked where we were and who she was.
I dressed and had to help her dress because her clothes were unfamiliar, and got her to hospital. She had global temporary amnesia that lasted for 6 hours. Talk about freaky.

Oh no! I hope it never happened again?!

Wow!

Sounds like a bout of "headboard banging".

Definitely more scary than ego deflating!

Well... Could ha e been worse. She could have freaked out during.
Hah, I bet that was hell and hella funny trying to explain what happened to the doctors.

Well, at least you can say you "fucked her brains out"
I'm sorry, I had to say it.

@Atheistman That's what I want to know ... I want to learn that technique.

@Atheistman I took her to the hospital, that was a learning experience in itself, waited until the Doctors said no point in hanging around, she was admitted. 6 hours later she rang abusing me for leaving her there, and 3 hours after that I collected her from the hospital as it had passed. Her memory was back, but Doctors said it was a most unusual case in that she could actually remember the not remembering.

@NeoXerops She didn't freak out, but she told me after that it hit quite a bit before we finished, she assumed it must be ok and that she was enjoying. Strange thing, she never freaked at all,she was just extremely confused. Kept repeating the same questions over and over, retained the answers for like 10 seconds, then began asking all over again.
9

Level 8

Do I get a discount? It's my tenth visit.

Haha, you have a loyalty card?

Gotta make sure you get those things punched!

@Sacha Sure do! It's called the Brothel Bonus Card. As you can see, it's been "ho punched" nine times already. 😉

@MrLizard Finally, someone who get it! The struggle is real, man.
9

Level 7

That was quick😉

8

Level 8

This reminds me of the " rodeo " This entails doggy style then in the middle saying " this is your sisters favorite position too " and see if you can stay on top for 8 seconds.

LOOOOL
6

Level 6

My mom taught me that one!

6

Level 6

Should we call the dog over?

6

Level 8

Reminds me of an old joke, I hope nobody gets offended.
A young guy and his sister were both dateless one night, unusual because they both had plenty of action normally. Eventually one suggests to the other that they alleviate their frustration and get it on. Afterwards, the girls asks her Brother, "Well how was I?", the brother replies, "Great, nearly as good as mom" then she says, "That's what Dad says".

Hillbilly humor!

@phxbillcee You know you're trailer trash if your 14-year-old daughter lets her kids smoke at the breakfast table.
6

Level 6

I've had better.

5

Level 9

next!

You have them lining up outside your front door hey? lol 😉

5

Level 6

One last one....

At least you tried.

5

Level 9

Well . . . That was a mistake!

5

Level 6

First to finish!

5

Level 4

Feels good, eh? ( I was dating a Canadian fella for a minute, years ago!). Still makes me laugh.

5

Level 7

I win!

5

Level 8

" the condom broke"

" whoa ! ... that's IT ???"

after a particularly noisy orgasm, you look up past your lover ... " oh honey, you got home early !!! "

" I didn't notice all those little scabs before ..."

5

Level 6

Next time bring mustard

What are you eating????

😉
5

Level 5

We're not doing this again, it wasn't the sex... I just can't see a romantic relationship with you and I'd like to just be friends.

4

Level 5

After I had returned from a long overseas deployment, and the wife (now ex-wife) and I were intimate for the first time in a long time (I was deployed for several months), I jokingly said "that was the best sex I've had in like 3 weeks."

Needless to say, she didn't like my joke.

Ouch! lol
4

Level 6

I remember saying "Soooo, do you mind calling your sister in? I've got enough in me for her too"
Yeah... The girl I was messing with got mad as hell. She knew I was joking, but it just came across bad.
She still glares at me when I say something about her sister. Jokingly.

Is that your wife mate? lol

@Sacha haha, no. My ex didn't have a sister. Although she did have a cousin that looked just like her. Nah, if I said that to my ex-wife when were still together, she probably would have stabbed me.

The girl I was talking, we use to only fool around a few years back. Friends with benefits
4

Level 5

You did get the HPV vaccine, right? (... and no, I have never, ever, said anything to make someone feel uncomfortable after sex)

3

Level 7

Was it good for me?

3

Level 7

Personally I think what was your name again is pretty awful, if you forget her na me after maybe calling it out during sex , ya might wanna get the brain checked for memory issues

3

Level 8

  1. She reaches over and slaps him on the ass: "Good lay dude! Now get the hell out of here."

  2. Does this look infected?

3

Level 8

I’m very considerate.

3

Level 7

Wow, that was great. Maybe we can do this another time without your grandmother watching?

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