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Does this sound like love?

So I have this friend, who is in a complicated relationship, yet she cheats on him. She’s been seeing this man, who is also married with two kids, whose wife cheated on him. My friend slept with the married guy more than once while still being in the relationship she’s in that she wants out of, but refuses to leave. She’s asked the man she’s with now to leave, but he refuses to and she thinks after she gets rid of the man she’s with now, she’ll live out her happy ending with the man she had an affair with. They were on a work trip out of town and after they was intimate again, a woman was making a pass at him and he was about to make a pass at her in return when my friend told him she’s not good for him. Shortly after the affair, the guy went and told everyone at his work that he slept with her to everybody and they were all calling her a “whore.” He completely denied the claim by saying someone else started the rumor and just like that, she’s still seeing him, even though he’s still with his wife. Just recently he changed his number but notified my friend to let her know it was changed and she’s reading all of this as he cares about her. I’m confused cause he still haven’t left his wife even though she cheated and he cheated, too, but still kind of stringing her on. My friend has kids with the man she doesn’t want to be with now and he has kids with the woman he’s married to. From what I found out, my friend told the man she’s with now to leave and he still hasn’t and even told her that he isn’t going anywhere, but also her lover’s wife doesn’t appear that she will let him go that easily cause I think the love is still there, regardless of her cheating. It is well possible his wife was just curious and that is why she had that affair. Not that I’m saying that’s right. And he hasn’t really come out and say he was leaving his wife. This is something she told me and assumed. Anyway, I told my friend that if your partner doesn’t want to leave then you either need to notify the police and have them escort him out or you will need to be the one that take your kids and move. She’s convinced this man will leave his wife for her, marry her then live happily ever after, after she leave her currently partner, who she doesn’t want to be with right now just because her lover notified her that his number changed cause she was bragging to me and acting like she was trying to make a point to justify he must care if he let her know his number changed, trying to make it seem like I wasn’t happy for her if it worked out but just warning her. What do you think?

EmeraldJewel 7 Feb 1
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30 comments

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15

Man, is this how the dating scene is going to be? I'll extend my bird-watching sabbatical for a bit...

9

Trust is the keystone of all relationships. Cheating destroys trust, two cheaters beginning a relationship together have an infinitesimal chance of success.

Betty Level 8 Feb 1, 2018

Yeah Just look @ POTUS & FLOTUS

8

Jerry Springer stuff

Lmfao the ironic thing is I just watched an episode of Jerry Springer yesterday after I got off work.

4

What a fuckin' mess.

4

Couldn't deal with it. I'd extricate myself from a clusterf*** like that in a nanosecond.

Hahaha! Trust me I don’t talk to her too much anymore. Not like I used to.

@EmeraldJewel wise decision.

3

There both dirty dogs and cheats. id keep at arm's length on that one.

Exactly! Just because she doesn’t love the person she’s with anymore doesn’t give her the right to cheat. As I told her a million times that if she wasn’t happy, end the relationship.

exactly

3

Hmmmm.... never date married men... or married women....no. no.

3

I would disconnect myself from all of their bullshit immediately.

Luckily I live three hours away from them and only can talk by phone. Lol I don’t even talk to her much now days cause I’m tired of the nonsense.

3

Sounds like a script for an Aussie soapie.

Sounds like something that would happen at Summer bay? Maybe with Alf and Irene? lol

3

This paragraph-less wall 'o text was TL;DR for me. But from what I can gather, your friend is extremely immature and un-self-aware and naive, while still managing to be self-absorbed. I wouldn't even know where to begin, honestly. She's a child.

Lol she’s older than me with kids and I make better decisions than her. Sorry about the rushed text, but I was on my break at work for lunch and didn’t have a lot of time.

3

Wow. I got lost back at the word "cheating." Well, once a cheater, always a cheater. This is a bad predicament.

3

She's deluding herself and is heading for a massive heartbreak.

I thought so, too. Thank you for your response.

@EmeraldJewel You are most welcome. Experience has taught me that most married men never leave their wives, they just keep on cheating. The ones that DO leave their wives for the "other woman", will end up cheating on her, too. Cheaters cheat, that's what they do. Learned that from watching my father, and a few others.

Massive Heartbreak? Perhaps a little weeping and gnashing of teeth, but in a short time span she will be back on track with yet another man, and probably married too.

@jlynn37 Perhaps.

@KKGator You're right. Spot on. But I'm sure you knew that already. 🙂

2

Sounds like they should all have a party and swap car keys.

2

The answer is no and did you really have to ask, like its not obvious.

I know. I just think I’m overreacting at times. Can’t help it.

2

Real love means being honorable. Neither is being honorable. They're perfect for each other in that regard. But love is not there.

2

I think they all may be able to get on Jerry Springer.

No, it doesn't sound like love.

Sounds like a mess that she needs to extricate herself from. Keep in mind these are her choices and her responsibility. It sounds like you have given her some sound advice but it is up to her to decide if she wants to follow it or not.

Thank you.

2

Oh the tangled web we humans weave.

1

Your friend needs to resign to the fact that she ain't nothing but a side chick to this married man that she's screwing around with.
She's flirting with disaster and she continues down this path...
The results are only going to be catastrophic.

She needs to cut the shit and stop messing with that married man.

1

WTF... Do let us know when it ends how it ends... Sounded like a soap series. Very interested to know the climax

I will for sure. So far it just seems like he’s stringing her along with the staying in contact with her but haven’t left his wife.

1

What a drama, Some girls just live for it, I also have a friend in a similar situation. And wtf lady what are you doing? Your friend should leave the guy she is with now, and leave the married guy alone. But I think some women are scared to be alone and stive off drama.

Sacha Level 7 Feb 1, 2018

That’s exactly what I think it is. She’s just settling with the man she doesn’t want to be with in high hopes and waiting to be swept off her feet by another woman’s husband.

1

One Life to Live As The World Turn with All My Children with The Guiding Light. That is the soap opera life that she is living in. Then Going to Jerry Springer soon to be followed by The Maury Show. She is delusional.

Luckily she can’t have any more kids. So The Maury Show is out.

@EmeraldJewel She can still go to take the lie detector test or have one of her lover take it. Lol

@noworry28 hahaha! That’s true.

1

Obviously not love, but if one has a need/desire for drama in their life, this is perfect. It's not for me. I got tired just reading the story.

Lol she’s deluded. I could understand you got tired of reading the story. I was rushing just to type this cause I was on break at my job.

@EmeraldJewel it wasn't the writing. It was all the cheating on who and is he lying and the gossiping....oh boy. The games people play.

@Rudy1962 oh lol. I get paranoid about stuff like that.

0

I think your friend and her married lover are selfish and immature and they deserve each other. Of course, he will never leave his wife. Guaranteed.

0

That is not love, that is pure drama for adrenaline junkies. There is nothing healthy going on there anywhere, and I wouldn't even want to be an observer on the sidelines of that.

0

See, all this trouble comes of the western practice of monogamous marriage.
In Thailand, Haiti, and other places I've lived, marriage is more a legal contract for more upper class people for purposes of inheritance, etc.
Most of them get married for children, but both spouses take side lovers, often of either or both genders, since many are bisexual.

In the US, many liberal and/or LGBTQ couples have open relationships, and those often seem to be the healthiest.

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