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Who believes that sex can ruin a friendship?

By Shelton8
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30 comments

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8

Since my best friend and l are both straight males, l think sex would probably fuck up our friendship in a major way. I'm pretty sure we can avoid having sex. We have for 56 years. smile001.gif As for female friends. I never had it fuck up a friendship.

Sticks48 Level 9 Dec 13, 2018

@Sticks48 Has it ever initiated one?

@MissKathleen Not that l can remember.

7

I don't have sex with friends... Ever heard of the friend zone...

Yea, guys hate that. Lol

6

It might and it might not. It really depends on the people involved.

This. It's not at all a universal outcome.

Agree.

6

I think the alternative is more likely: friendship ruining sex...

True

6

It can, but not necessarily. I've had it ruin one, and a couple it did not. Perhaps even enhanced the friendship without progressing to "ooooh, I'm so in LUV!!!"

Seeker3CO Level 8 Dec 13, 2018

That is encouraging to hear.

5

I think it is more about the attitude about sex, as opposed to the actual sex.

5

Not I. I have many friends with whom I have had sex and remain friends with. I am special that way.

Nukdookum Level 8 Dec 13, 2018
4

I will be the first to say sex can ruin a relationship. For instance, I am a retired Teamster, my first wife had sex with so many truck drivers she would have retired years earlier than me. So you see sex ended our relationship.

This was 40 years ago, I am quite over it.

4

I think it depends on the friendship.

I dated a friend earlier this year, we decided for a variety of reasons to end it and we're still good friends. Having a romantic relationship didn't impact our friendship negatively. But, we were super vigilant about setting boundaries and communicating.

It really comes down communication. If it's a casual thing, and you don't expect a change in the status quo that needs to be addressed up front. If you want to remain friends, even if the romantic/physical side doesn't work out, have a plan in place for that. If either party is having a change of heart regarding the boundaries, talk about it.

Really, any relationship needs communication or it will fizzle out or explode. I, personally, am a fizzler. It doesn't slam a door that might reopen, and let's everybody figure out what they want/need. Probably not the most mature way to go, but I never claimed to be mature...

Minta79 Level 7 Dec 13, 2018
4

Friendship? I believe sex can ruin a relationship.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Dec 13, 2018
4

It can but, I think it really depends on the people. There are too many dynamics involved for there to be one answer.

BeeHappy Level 9 Dec 13, 2018
4

I do.

4

Yeah, its happened to me. But I'm not so sure it was an actual "friendship", rather more likely a "waiting in the wings" kind of thing that I gave the benefit of the doubt.

Protip, ladies: Do not go for a NSA-boink with a dude you suspect is "in love" with you--no matter what he says. That is one of vanishingly few situations in which I do not recommend taking people at their word.

3

I have a very good male friend. At one point we were both single after our divorce from our spouses. I knew he liked me.

He flew from Colorado to see me and my sons. Part of me wanted to go out with him, but he was my friend and had been my friend over the years. We were in the military together.

I didn't want to risk losing him if we had formed a relationship that wouldn't have worked out for some reason. I respect him too much. We're still friends to this day after 20+ years! I'll be seeing him and his lovely wife and children soon!

I see him as a brother in arms. We're respectfully bonded forever.

@Shelton His friendship is worth it.

3

I see a friendship that includes sex, as more than a friendship.

If the friendship is the priority, yes, sex could muddy the waters ... or not.

evergreen Level 8 Dec 13, 2018
3

I think its possible, but highly unlikely to work. But very seldom does a straight guy set out to be friends with a chick without ulterior motives. And face it whats the difference in a male/female friendship a a relationship other than sex. Hence my point its very hazy scenario and rarely is it gonna work. One person wants more, the other doesnt, someone gets jealous, mad or hurt. Just not a good idea generally

3

I do. I don't have the emotional detachment to be friends with benefits.

3

Me, but like another respondent said he probably really didn't want to be my friend to begin with.

Lorajay Level 7 Dec 13, 2018
3

I don't believe it.

3

Yes, I believe it can.

@Shelton there is such a fine line.

3

yes it can for sure

@Shelton me too my friend

2

Been there did that - he was a moron btw... Just sayin' ?

RavenCT Level 9 Dec 14, 2018
2

Yes it can. I lost a friend over it many years ago.

2

I can't resist being silly, it did then didn't ruin Sally and Harry in When Harry Met Sally which is a movie all about answering the question. can men and women be friends?....as for myself.....sex has ruined a relationship that was already stressed to begin with so it was the straw that broke the camels back....the key is communication of what the situation is going to be. Is it a FWB or a relationship?

2

Can? Yes.

Will likely? Depends on the relationship.

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