yes, i don't talk to them anymore so, i guess it worked out

Basically, I live on the west side of the country and all the family lives on the east side of the country. I have an identical twin, we barely tolerate each other, she is religious, a gop voter and trumpette, hard to get much different. My younger sister are very much alike and I miss being able to see her but at least we message on facebook. My mom was a difficult person, a racist, a bigot and sometimes just mean. I like living on the west coast.

Most of my family immediate family, I do not deal with other than my baby sister, Amber. I come from somewhat of a... super dystunctional Royal Tenenbaums-esq background. A lot of odd-ball accelerated negative ninnies. I was always the blacksheep because I consistently rebelled against their bullshittery and two-faced natures.

My Extended Asian family in Hawai'i, however, is a different story. I am in good standing with all of them.

I have a nosey ass aunt that I avoid at all costs...she's a closet drug addict AND suffers from dementia. ..she thinks she knows everything and never hesitates to tell you how you should do things...even in personal situations she has no business speaking on...I don't raise my kids like I was raised, so she thinks im a bad mom...so much so that she fucking called DSS on me to be investigated...wtf?! Best thing for her to do is stay out of my reach ????

If I would have any desires or wishes regarding family at all, it would be to experience some sanity & social graces in my remaining "close" family.

my father, after repeatedly approaching me with sexual intentions from when I was 14, never forgave me when at last I fled the family home at 18. my mother took her life at the age of 85. my sister, being resentful & envious (her word) for 37 years, made contact just a few weeks ago - only to stop communicating again last week. my brother doesn't have time for more than one or at most two emails per year. my nephew, who turned 32 recently, just moved back with his mom for the third time.

friends is my family.

Cantankerous old fuck, huh? hahahaha

That pretty much defines most of my family. We are "friendly" per se, but I don't talk to them much or hang out.

With your grandfather though, are you sure it's not dementia? I know you said he's a difficult person, but some form dementia may also play a role. Who knows, he may have been dealing with something like this for a while.

One thing I've noticed as I watch seemingly nice people suddenly go crazy when they get old is that they seem to be holding a lot of their "true" feelings in to fit into a "polite" society, but as we age, our feelings just come eeking out. And it seems that those were already obnoxious to begin with simply get worse as their self-control mechanism starts to fail.

My family would say me, as I am an athiest, and have spoken openly about being so

My mother suffered severe dementia before she passed away. And went through some of the same events which you describe. I gave up my home and career in Africa to return home and care for her. It was very difficult, but you just had to remember, "This is the caring, loving mother who raised me. She has a disease and it's time for me to care for her." Remembering this helped get me through.

Yes I do.

Most of them.

Life is too long to fill it with stress. I had some family members I didn't want to deal with. I discovered a few years ago that boundaries are good for me and if others don't like them, it's their problem, not mine.

Ex wife only.

I live in sheltered accommodation and there is a guy here who completely does my head in. He talks really loudly takes over parts of communal areas and 'decorates them sulks when he doesnt get his own way leaves notices everywhere and is so self important I could spit!

Studing your discription makes me believe, that there is a good possibility that there is some brain disorder! Just keep in mind he is not a reflection on you, any way shape or form...maybe DNA, that's it. I have a lot of experience with the elderly, way before I got old myself. And aging is not the same for all people! Also, some medication that he might be taking could be 'off.' And, there is a possibility he has some depression going on! Lots of depression with aging. Just make it a point to visit, when you are not depleted yourself! And, let it be ok...most people understand that a lot of older people are contrary! My best to you...

Oh boy he sounds like he has dementia.
Ripping a phone out of the wall? I've seen that done by a patient with "Sun downers". A type of dementia that occurs when the sun goes down.

He could just be a pain. But he sounds like he needs to see a Dr pronto. Anyone he does get along with who might be able to get to him to one specializing in dementia?

sounds like an interesting grandfather. I like those gruffly old guys

My aunt. She was hooked on all kinds of drugs for many years. She lost all her kids because of her addiction. The bad part is she got her teen age daughter hooked on heroin. I've got no time to waste on garbage like that.

My dad is a Born Again Xian. He was a bully, and sadistic father. Even with his Xian position he is not able to apologize for his wrong. I have not talked to him for 25 years.

I live in sheltered accommodation there is a man here who is quite nasty when he as had a drink which is many per night , he is also very loud when another guy comes in who is deaf.Why poeople think that shouting at a deaf person makes them hear I don't know but the deaf guy is also very loud so the pair of them are shouting and i have hyperacusis loud noises are really hard for me to bear. I'm also not too keen on drunks.

I'm guessing that I'm the one my family doesn't want to deal with, with my health food habits, tendency to work overseas just for the adventure, my coming out to them (in a brief email in 2014) as nonbinary androgyne and partially transmale.

But when my parents were still alive, my dad used to make outrageous accusations against my young daughter every time we visited, claiming that she was stealing this or that, while my mom said nothing.

I decided to use behaviorist tactics on them. When we visited, each time my dad started in on us, I'd ignore him, glance at my watch and say, "Look at the time! We gotta go, but it was great seeing you! Love you! Bye!" and we'd leave immediately.

It only took a week of doing this before my mom would start rounding on my dad and telling him to "shush!" every time he started accusing us of something.

Right now, my ex wife

My mother. She left the family when I was seven years old. Since then I can only stand small doses and over the phone. I’ve seen her on two separate occasions, and in each case, she will say something that will inevitably anger me to the point of argument. I can live the rest of my life and never see her again.

I don't deal with any of my family after the last of my immediate family passed away.
They're all religious assholes and leeches.