Agnostic.com

45 26

So I posted something earlier that I took down because my intentions were being misunderstood. I mentioned that I felt awkward being on here seeking friends and community when it feels more like a dating site. I think the way I worded it made it sound judgemental, but in truth, I was only judging my own feelings. I am married and a friend looked over my shoulder today and wanted to know why I was on a dating site. I said it isn't just for that, and told her that I mentioned my husband in my profile and posts. I am also in a weird state of limbo right now in my life, so trying to not muddy my waters. I have chatted with some awesome folks on here. I like that. I am trying to decide if I belong here. What the hell does it even mean to belong someplace? #ExistentialCrisis

ShakenManChild 5 Feb 17
Share

Post a comment Author doesn't reply Reply Author doesn't reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

45 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

31

You don't have to be here for dating. I'm not, and many of us are not.
If you look at a member's profile, it will say whether they are here for community, or if they are open to meeting others for dating.
I joined the site several months ago, and I can't begin to tell you how pleased I am to communicate with so many like-minded people. Even when we disagree, most of us tend to do it in a civil manner. There are always those who don't "play nice", but they are the minority and not the majority.
As I like to say to new members, welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.
We're all a little mad here. But then, the best people really are.

No, you don't. But it is mostly a dating site. Indicators: the little heart match icon, questions regarding marital status, children, and others that pertain to targeting single people who want to meet other single people and potentially develop a meaninful romantic relationship, like "Willing to relocate?". There is nothing wrong with dating sites these days, it's 2018 for Pete's sake, and because of work, community, communication, and societal shifts and changes, it seems to be a much more difficult endeavor to meet and love. So, for you who are here who are married or in meaningful relationships, or for the fellowship only, I say wonderful! Allow this site to work as it's obvious purpose for the rest of us. πŸ™‚

@AtheistLatina55 I didn't say anything intended to not allow the site to work for anyone else's purposes. Not exactly sure what you took exception to.

21

So many of us just want a like minded community and have found it here. You can tell your friend what you told us - it's a community. Not a dating site for you.
Sorry you are feeling so alienated. We can all help with that.

18

you are one of the first people i have seen say ths seems like a dating site

btroje Level 9 Feb 17, 2018

It is mostly a dating site. Indicators: the little heart match icon, questions regarding marital status, children, and others that pertain to targeting single people who want to meet other single people and potentially develop a meaninful romantic relationship. There is nothing wrong with dating sites these days, it's 2018 for Pete's sake, and because of work, community, communication, and societal shifts and changes, it seems to be a much more difficult endeavor to meet and love. So, for you who are here who are married or in meaningful relationships, or for the fellowship only, I say wonderful! Allow this site to work as it's obvious purpose for the rest of us. πŸ™‚

@AtheistLatina55 why are you adressing this to me?I have been here for quite a while and there are more comments from people saying that this does not seem like a dating site than otherwise.. I do not control this site

15

I saw this site marketed in an ad as a dating site, but it never truly felt like that to me. I haven't used it as such, nor do I really intend to. It's much more than that. It's a community where I can speak freely amongst like minded individuals, unlike Facebook where I am judged by people who don't really "get" me. It's what you make of it, really. Obviously any place where humans gather gives you opportunities to meet potential dates, but it doesn't have to be that way.

14

I have noticed many married people on this site. As far as others opinions, as long as you know you're not being disrespectful to your spouse there shouldn't be any reason to feel awkward. Initially I was under the impression that it was in fact a dating site, but it only took a day or two to realize that it is more of a meeting place (community) for like minded people to discuss and share thoughts and ideas. Non-believers have limited places where they can feel at ease expressing themselves without judgement from theists so this site for me is a wonderful outlet.

12

This is a dating site?

12

I joined because it was listed to me as an agnostic dating site. It would be nice to meet someone i might have something in common with, especially the atheist part. While I'd like to meet someone and date, I've realized it's also a good "fellowship" community. My goal: to meet someone unafraid to meet someone. Will I find that here? Maybe not, but I don't feel regret over joining. I've very much enjoyed it here. πŸ™‚

Atheist-Latina is like a super minority

@Marz yes it is! And add "Texan" and "female" to the mix and my particular demographic gets even smaller. Not many. I always hope to know that there are more of us out there. It can be lonely and disheartening to be an atheist period.

@AtheistLatina55 Texas, home of "The Atheist Experience in Austin.

Worth checking out.
[atheist-experience.com]

Where I live the closest atheist organization is about 200 miles away. As Texas is huge, you may also be a very long drive to Austin

10

I think others have piped up that this is a site for community as well and that if you are open to your significant other and site members there should be no misunderstanding.

If it is any consolation, reading from others posts, they enjoy the discussions. It is not a problem where I live, but a lot of members find it difficult to talk about their lack of belief in god(s) where they live.

10

It was listed as a dating site to me, but it also listed other genres. I think it can be whatever you want it to be. If you're concerned about it, make you're profile pic of you and your husband and make your profile name yours and your hubbies first names? It's cool

8

You have the option of being open to meeting people on your profile, I feel it is yes for dating and no if you are not here to date. The site is mostly discussions, yet I think it is nice that people can be open to dating also.

8

If you it like here for the community then stay..as long as your spouse knows, it's all good.

8

I don't use it as a dating site (wife wouldn't approve), but I don't even have the impression that it's the main purpose of the site β€” at least not since I joined. (I'm not meaning to imply any causal relationship there 🀐 ).

7

It was advertised as a dating site, but on joining I was immediately struck by how unlike a dating site it actually was. I've found it's a great online community in its infancy. It reminds me so much of another site I belonged to many years ago--a site where I met many wonderful people that became real life friends. Yes, I'm single, and I would not object to dating people I meet here, but as soon as I joined that became a tertiary goal.

d_day Level 7 Feb 18, 2018
7

I’ve only seen a few posts related to dating. This site seems to be a forum to discuss things you wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing on Facebook. Unlike most sites, I don’t feel judged here.

Marz Level 7 Feb 18, 2018
7

My first interest here was a place where someone with agnostic/atheist feelings could talk with like minded people. THEN I found out that one of the primary purposes was that of a dating site. Being "in Search Of", to steal from Leonard Nimoy, that is not an issue with me... though, fact is, I really think I want to find someone local and just haven't found anyone local I am interested in, yet. The reason I bring this up is that I seem to find mutual interests that are quite remote.

7

Oh! I honestly thought this was a site for a variety of things. Wow, people can be judgemental. More of a community for people without a religion to come to feel safe. That’s what it feels like to me.

6

I personally have been on just a few dating sites so far and am frustrated with them. While I am open to possibly finding a date here, this site to me is first and foremost a community for non-religious folks to share thoughts and find support. I haven't had a single date from here yet. Lol

6

I'm hoping this is a safe space to avoid Jesus freaks.

6

You are welcomed as a fellow discussant and opinion sharer. Unfortunately, on any medium, there are always a few men who are moral idiots who try to hit on any woman they hope might be vulnerable in some way. Most of us men are simply more than willing to simply accept you as one of us.

6

It is almost an impossibility to locate such commodity in any one given community as there is here. The amount of like minded people here is very difficult to locate in the sea of the religious prejudice. So for you to seek a form of assimilation is to help please your void would only be an acceptable responce.

6

It seems more like a forum to me. I like the discussion and community. I don't know too many people in real life who aren't christians.

JimG Level 8 Feb 17, 2018
5

I suppose it's all a matter of perspective. I'm open to the dating site aspect of it and find it to be more of a community of like-minded debaters.

4

I am open to dating if someone compatible comes along whether online or offline but I am on this site simply because it is non religious.

I can have discussions about all kinds of things without it being peppered with religious crap.

4

This site "feels" to me like a discussion site with a dating option. Because I don't participate in the dating option, the only time I'm reminded about that aspect is when someone posts something dating-related. Otherwise, I forget.

As to "belonging" to an online community... I think of it like a buffet. I either find enough of what I like and keep coming back, or I don't. If the establishment is poorly run, or the other patrons sufficiently unruly, I'll bail. If I happen to make friends, fine--but that's not why I came. I came for the food.

4

I don't consider it to be just a dating site. I am married and am seeking friends and community of freethinking type people. I certainly feel like I belong here. Find this site to be a good place to share ideas. Much nicer than facebook.
Hope you stay, and enjoy meeting the people here.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:25773
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.