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Co-worker: "I just don't think white people and black people should marry each other. I'm not racist or anything."

Do you find this attitude abhorrent? Rational? Misguided but not extreme? Has your opinion shifted over the years?

CallMeDave 8 Feb 2

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That is about as racist as it gets.


How is this not racist? I wonder what's going on in some people's heads.

Dietl Level 7 Feb 2, 2019

@Bobby9 Why do you think they wouldn't resemble their relatives? That is just silly. This beautiful girl is my sister and she looks just like my Mum. The little fella is my nephew and looks and behaves exactly like my youngest son.

@Bobby9 That's racist too but you shifted the goalposts, little nazi. The statement in question was that white people and black people shouldn't marry! It wasn't about a personal (racist) choice. It was about also not wanting OTHER people to marry other races. Can your two brain cells undestand this difference?

@Bobby9 he is a racist.

@Bobby9 Bobby Just stop this now

@Bobby9 You defend and try to downplay clear and real racism. Don't worry, we get the picture 😉

@Bobby9 Actually no I certainly will not go away.

@Bobby9 As a university lecturer, learning is what I am paid to do.

@Bobby9 Enough now ok, you are just trying to upset or hurt me. My self esteem does not come from a little grey man on a chat site. Run along

@Bobby9 Calling me strange. Stop it

@Bobby9 'prejudice reader' 'surface thinker'. I am not engaging anymore. I send you best wishes as I would anyone. Move along


When I see things like this, I fantasize about lining up all the people of the world by color, dark to light, and have one of these morons determine where "black" ends and "white" begins.

@Bobby9 To show the absurdity of labeling people as a particular race and that no one is pure anything.


I wonder what his/her reasons are!

I can understand it as a personal choice but not as a principle.

Personal choice makes him a racist.

Most likely, "the way I was raised."


Dave this 100% racist and utterly ignorant. In UK less than 10% of the population is 100% caucasian. There is far more genetic divergence within races than between them. I am officially the whitest person earth (According to 3 out of 3 fellas) and even I have Asian friends who are paler than me. Skin colour is not an indication of an individual's value.

These types, usually xtion, could be called veiled racists in that until they open their mouths you don't know by their politeness.

@Beowulfsfriend I would still challenge it


Pure racist right there.


Is there really anything to debate here? Isn’t the answer known and obvious?

Hmmm, not so much for me. Can you explain just a bit?


the answer is --- people are people and what other people do and who they associate with and/or love is NONE of our business or concern.

Humans need to stop being so shallow as to judge on "looks" and start judging on ACTIONS instead.

@SkotlandSkye Fair enough!


You mean they didn't follow it up with "some of my best friends are black?" I think it's racist but on the other hand it's also a personal choice for somebody. I decided way back not to do that because I didn't want all the grief it would entail. This person sounds like "you can't mix races" which is bullshit

lerlo Level 8 Feb 2, 2019

he'd say he has black friends too but doesn't think they should marry white women (which to him means pale skin, I think).


When ever someone uses a compound sentence with the word “but” as the link between independent clauses, everything that comes before the word “but” is a lie.

Anything after but is bullshit lol


Definitely racist....


I'm scared to answer the question because I am a white.


Your coworker is racist... Does he/she stops at marriage? Can people of different races date? Have kids? Sit at the same table? Live together?

Your coworker is racist!

Totally agree.


I find that attitude to be their opinion, not mine. That being said I would say racist or uninformed.


This co-worker is a racist but in denial. Racism comes out when it is provoked by fear of the United States demography. Majority of country being non-white scares those with racist tendencies. Trump's caravan threats are just that -instilling fear in the population. His wall appeals only to those racists. I have a college friend I am always arguing with on FB that makes Trump a racist. And it makes my old friend a racist. I was exposed to racism at 5. My next door neighbors were black college professors. They sent my friend Butch to a private school. They were afraid to send him to my school. Things were just changing in the 60s. When my parents decided to get a bigger house in town they had trouble selling their house to a black family. The neighbors fought their efforts and it took them a year and a half to proceed in court. Racism is ugly and painful. I hate racists. If you hate racism check out my Leftists Group-


It's the same 'ol racist, elitist, superior-minded attitude that has corrupted our world time and time again. Did you say anything back to this person?

My stock response is to compare it to saying blond people should not marry brunettes. I probably said something similar to him. In some situations though, I'm sure I have said nothing. Of course most people aren't as blunt as he was, at least not aloud. We worked together for years. Otherwise he would not have spoken either, maybe.


I've experienced the same racism in reverse. Some black folks said the same about my ex-girlfriend and I. It's ugly wherever it rears it's head.

Nardi Level 7 Feb 2, 2019

On a particular dating site there is a question about whether you prefer to date someone of the same race. When people contact me who have put yes to this questions, I ask them about it. All of them have said that it isn't racist, but a preference. It seems racist to me. There are more differences among races than between races. How can it be a preference?

I wanted to have white children like me and my people before me. It's preference. I would be amazed if there were no black people who felt the same as me about their lineage. Perhaps they might be judged as racist too.

@brentan Inbreeding.

@Countrywoman That's a different thing altogether.

@brentan Nope. On a large scale DNA refreshment occurs when far flung folks exchange genetics. This whole idea of "marrying" ones own has catastrophic results. You may not see it but the future generations will.

@Countrywoman Far-flung people do interbreed.


I can say that growing up I had members of my family that would say
“ that you can be friends with them, you can live with them and even have sex with them but you simply can not get married to them.”

And the part of that message that really fucked with me was their reasoning. Which was society will never accept y’all and they’ll never accept your children.

This was actually hard for me to understand and accept because my birth mom was 1/8th and we lived in a very racially diverse neighborhood.
Also my cousin married a woman who looked like Mo’nique but three shades darker and I was the one who acted anything but white so our family had to adjust their mentality a bit.

But as I pointed out in another post on here I’m 48 and my grandparents generation was born and raised in a time where racism wasn’t just accepted but expected.

And then their children were born and raised through a period of nonstop war as well as a huge social evolution which split the country and actually resulted in a flip of political party ideologies.

So my generation comes along and we’re being taught to be tolerant but still not embrace those of color. And then the 80’s came and blew that all to hell.
But it also made others become reclusive and dig in deeper.

So now I’m looking at my child’s generation where my wife and myself instilled the belief that everyone was a human so therefore equal.
But with trump we’ve seen those who had gone to ground and raise their heads which has actually forced us all to acknowledge that we aren’t as together as we had hoped for.

Seriously though this isn’t as much of a bad thing as it may feel. Now we know that they’re there and what they believe so let’s challenge the why.

It’s no different than challenging religion you just have to maintain a higher ground and make them say exactly why they believe the way they do and then show them our commonalities and work from there.

Ignorance isn’t from not knowing any better but from the refusal to know and your coworker might not be ignorant but just mislead. So if you wish to you could introduce them to mixed couples and let them see that they worry about bills, their children and the future fate of the world.

But what would truly be the most effective is if we were to stop with the practice of racial identification that was started by slave owners in order to prevent empathy for their slaves by religious and humanist.

Just saying that we’re human when we’re born and a 1,000 years after we’ve died our remains are still considered as being human so why can’t we just accept that while we’re alive?



"Who even cares what you think & go ahead & continue to inbreed", would be my response. Then I would ask them to define "racism" & then I would ask them what is black & what is white & if god didn't want us to replenish our DNA then god would not permit insemination. (you stupid pea brained cretin)


Right......not racist, hmmmmm? I find the attitude abhorrent.


Perhaps we might rejoice that at last we are fleshing out this historical problem. Pun intended. The USA is one , if the only country to base slavery on "race". As we have consistently lead the world in the evolution of cultural values, we might model how to resolve this problematic issue by grappling with it now. As Reconstruction failed to reconstruct & merely reinstituted, that these next generations will truly permit folks to live up to & be judged by the content of their character. Merge cultural differences, which we are doing, & celebrate our diversity.


I agree with your co-worker; but I don't think anyone should get married. ?

I don't know how your co-worker is justifying this view as "not racist." If he or she thinks some consenting adults shouldn't have or exercise the same rights others do, based solely on the color of their skin, what could that be called if not racist?


Completely irrational opinion. If they had said they personally prefer to marry their own race, that could possibly be considered a preference(like hair color) rather than racist. But to say the entire races shouldn't marry each other is both racist and ridiculous. I just don't understand why people cares what anyone else is doing if isn't affecting them personally or hurting anyone. But I'm just a peace loving, tree hugger with a touch of go fuck yourself.


First off that is a bunch of crap. People should be able to marry anyone of any tribe. This guy is trying to put his beliefs onto to others which does make it a tribalistic comment.

Unfortunately, that can work both ways. When I was in Germany a co-worker, who was a blond German met and married a black from the south. After he got out they returned home but a couple of months later she returned in tears. His family would not accept a white woman into their family and he put his family before his partner.

Also, at one time, I met a black woman at a dinner party held by a singles group we both belonged. She apparently was attracted to me and start harassing me. She told me she wanted to plan an event for the group but her apt was too small so could we hold the event at my house. She came over so we could talk about planning. The next thing I knew she was in my bed but I refused to share it with her (I knew little about her). We held the event and we started to become friends. I worked for a prestigious accounting firm and we held a big holiday dinner at a fancy hotel in Seattle and I invited her to be my companion. At each table was a partner in the firm and this partner was a Catholic and his wife sat next to him. He could not take his eyes off my companion (Sandra) to the point I was embarrassed (she had a low cut dress and lots of sparkles on her face and chest). Again she came home and again tried to get into bed and again I refused. She asked why, was it because she was black. I told her no it was because she was too damned aggressive (she also had a part-time boyfriend who was a member of a sex club). Later I got to thinking about her comment and realized, yes she was right. I could be friends with a black but that something extra which I need to make love to them just wasn't there. lol she tried to get even with me by sending a postcard to me at work saying that it's ok I shouldn't be ashamed of being gay. The postcard went through the mailroom so others saw it. I didn't care and thought it was funny. I don't know maybe there is something genetic that keeps different tribes from procreating.

She could have been of any ethnicity and pulled that crap. I think that had zero to do with it. It was her behaviors you didn't find attractive.

@RavenCT Yes, she was a bit crazy but she was educated (hvac engineer) and I liked her. I looked at other black women and wondered if I could have an intimate relationship and I realized I couldn't. It seemed strange.

@JackPedigo Well as a friend pointed out to me today "We all have types". It doesn't necessarily mean it's a racist thing.

But you probably have the clearest idea of the whole thing.


Ignore this person. Do not give them airspace to justify their racist opinion.

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