Them: Did you find Jesus?
You: I didn't know you guys lost him again.

Answer the door naked drinking a beer

If I'm busy, I tell them, "I'm not interested."

If I want to talk to them, I tell them I'm an atheist.

If I don't want them to come back, I tell them I once was a JW and disassociated myself, which is true. They aren't supposed to talk to disassociated (self extraction) or disfellowshipped (kicked out) people.

Tell them that you're not interested in their stupid, Bronze Age superstition.

I love these comments already! the quickest I ever been to get rid of them. Is when I stuck my head out, say sorry not interested but thanks anyway and I closed the door. But I gotta admit I love a good argument. When ever they come to my property they get an ear bashing of science! ???? next time I am going into a Satanic lingerie and ask if they want to be apart of the swingers club.

#spreadingthegoodword

I lived on a posted, private road. The first time I told them they were trespassing. The second time I told them if they came again I would call the police and press charges. The third time I called the police and pressed charges. They stopped coming after that.

Despite the winged terracotta temple dog on my doorstep, they're slow to take a hint.

I don't say anything, I just close the door. This also works for cable people.

invite them into the orgy, tell them the human sacrifice is about to begin.

Answer the door naked

I invite them in then tell them before you tell me all about it lets all take a shower. They don't return

I loke to invite them in and discuss their religion frankly. They never seem to want to come back after that.

They don't seem come my door anymore and I actually miss them. They were great !! They always seem come just as I was about wash my car or mow my lawn and I would get them help me. Not sure why they don't come and visit me anymore

I just tell them I'm a wicken and they almost run away??

Tell them to go round the back door... when they do, answer it and tell them to go to the front door...etc, etc, etc..

Bird shot

Tell them to bring Jesus to my door if they'd found him. I need proof not conjecture.

I tell them, "oh, I'm sorry, we're pagans." Then close the door. And lock it.

Tell them you are a Scientologist

I follow "I'm not interested" immediately with closing the door. I never give them time to respond. Now I have a satanic looking gargoyle looking out my front window by the door. I haven't had a holy-roller come to my door in over 10yrs.

"I was just about to go looking for a sacrifice. Come on in!"

I've been told by my nudist friends that answering the door naked works every time. I haven't had the courage to try that yet.

Same as a Quaker confronting a burglar - "friend, I wouldsnot hurt thee for the world, but thou standest where I am about to shoot!

Answer your front door naked

Haven't had this problem in a loooong time.
I credit this to the fact that the last time we were subjected to True Believers, my wife set Zorak, our GS loose.