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What is the best way to excuse a Johova Witness from your front door?

Rammy 4 Feb 25
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43 comments (26 - 43)

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1

"no sorry"
closes door

mxelh Level 2 Jan 1, 2019
1

I usually just be honest. If im busy, i just say so - but if im in the mood to discuss pantheism, the universe and what i think the soul actually is. Then i will gladly sit down and take these unwitting jahovas witnesses - all the way down the rabbit hole with me, spending hours discussing various points of every aspect of pantheism and the awesome points of shamanic history and amazing benefits of connecting through eye gazing,sungazing and earthing

1

Oh, back when I was in elementary school I had two of them come to my door. I was still involved in a less strict portion of Christianity. I was the only one home, so I stood there and listened to their pitch, then I talked with them. By the time they had left I had converted them. Lol

Then again, those were the old days. These days I believe in the one true God. FSM. May they all be touched by his noodley appendage.

1

Say sorry youre a Blood Donor and proud of it

Brysn Level 1 Nov 24, 2018
1

Quite by accident I discovered an excellent method quite soon after I was first married. Knock, knock, at the door.

Me: Hello
JW: Hi we're going around talking to all the young married couples in the area. (In a syrupy American accent we so love to hate!)
Me: That must be very nice for you
JW: (Who has leapt to completely the wrong conclusion) Oh, I take it you're not married?
Me: (Never one to let a chance go by) Well, as a matter of fact, we're not!
JW: (Said nothing but beat a very hasty retreat as if the devil and all his mignons were on his tail.)

Interestingly a framed copy of our marriage certificate appeared on the living room wall about a week later!

1

Do not answer the door, if you do.... do not let them IN ... lol

WhoMe Level 4 Apr 23, 2018
1

"No, thank you. Have a nice day. Buh-bye."
Then shut the door.
If they stick their foot in it, push harder, take out your phone and call 911, to report trespassers.

1

Say "I'm a Witch." They'll cross the street when they get to your property line.

1

You could ask to "borrow" a Watchtower so you could start a fire to burn a stack of bibles.

1

I just say, thank you for your interest, but I am not interested and close the door.

1

I tried, sorry I am not interested. But they always seem to ask why I am not interested and it turns into heaps of questions that they cannot answer as they stand there for 30 minutes in their Prada made heels. Making something up that does not follow any sort or means from their 'bible'.

Rammy Level 4 Feb 25, 2018
0

Just don't answer your door.

0

I always ask for money. that should suffice.

0

I say it wouldnt be fair for me to talk with you, as obviously you need your belief system to cope, and talking with me risks you losing that.
I used to live on a farm, with a sign on the gate saying beware the Bull- someone had faith as I found a copy of Watchtower under my back door (210 meters into the property)

0

Tell them that God and the Devil are the same thing and then take them back step by step to the point where if God is omnipresent it must be in the Devil as well. Either that or there is a place where God isn’t which means that God Isn’t omnipresent and so not only the theology doesn’t work, the Systematic Theology Of JW philosophy needs to be restructured

0

Shew them away with holy water and or release the dogs lol

0

Act like your on the phone with Satan and say, "Yes Master... the sacrifices for tonights ceremony have just arrived. I'll prepare them as ordered.... Hail Satan!" Hang up phone and invite them in.

0

I invite them in and discuss how the ancient Hebrews were actually henotheists and I explain to them how there are many verses in the Bible that don't make sense until you read it with that understanding. They leave in a hurry and don't come back.

That said, when I don't have time, I just politely explain that I understand that it takes a lot of courage to go door to door and I admire their dedication to their beliefs, even if I view those beliefs as misguided. I then tell them that I'm an atheist and I don't have time right now because I need to sacrifice a goat to Satan.

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