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Your version of a Healthy Relationship?

I am not going to say perfect, as there is no such thing. But after reading silvereyes post about the best part of being single, I thought very few people really want a relationship because ... they have to compromise, sleep with them, smell their farts, etc/

Seems to me those are little things to put up with in order to find something bigger.

I actually like sleeping with someone and sharing my space. There is a certain amount of comfort for me.

What is your version?

Akfishlady 8 Mar 4

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21 comments

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9

Perfect for me would be someone loyal and honest, who hate sports and people as much as I do. Someone I could drink coffee or beer with, go to the beach, on last minute adventures, binge watch horror movies and shows, sing in the car (or that at least let me sing in the car), someone who find zombies as ilogic as I do, and who likes to eat as much as I love to cook. Someone, if such a person exist, that can understand my volatile temper. I don't think I ask for much. ????????????????

Good stuff. If you get caught by a zombie you deserve to die. They are incredibly SLOW.

@Sticks48 so I should add survived zombie attack to my list?

@btroje You should put in your bio.

@Sticks48 Right? How can a rotting body even walk? Muscles rotting, tendons missing... You hurt an ankle and can't walk!!! Zombies just don't make sense.

@Alkimia OH SHIT, I'M A ZOMBIE!

Apart from the fact you are young enough to be my daughter, all was good until you mentioned volatile temper.

Thanks for the "HUG".....that was sooooooooooo nice of you to take the time!! And you are so gorgeous....it made my day.

@Rugglesby I thought a lot before using that term. I still think it doesn't really describe my personality. I do have some road rage issues, mind I learned to drive in Puerto Rico. And when I get mad I get really mad. Usually I don't get mad easily but if I'm hungry forget it, it's better just to give me my space until I eat. Lol If you lie to me is also something I can't tolerate. Don't tell me half truths or twist facts cause it's the same as lying. And if I already told you very politely that I don't like sometging don't do it/ say it again because you are going to know why Latinas have a bad reputation. For the most part I'm easy going and sweet. I like helping people, that's what I do for a living, I'm a mental health case manager, and I have big heart. Some people think that's a cue to take advantage of me and they find out they were so wrong. I deal with government and health agencies all day, mostly solving problems, so in my personal time all I would appreciate is not having to deal with nonsense. I have low tolerance for stupidity. I'm the kind of person that if you need help I'll be the first to be there, and I don't expect anything in return, but if you have a BBQ chances are I'm not going to show up.

@FlyingEagle1952 Any time! I'm a chronic hugger.

I was thrilled with your bio until I got to the age part. Since I didn’t see your age listed I can only go by your photos and assume you are much closer to my son’s age (turning 40 today). But everything else on your list sounds incredibly wonderful. And you are in my city! Reach out if you feel inclined, we can at least be friends, maybe catch a cup of coffee or a beverage sometime.

7

I need someone who is independent enough not to have to be glued to my hip, but who also likes/wants to spend some time with me.

4

A healthy bedroom relatonship should include the following::

  1. Two people sharing one bed-not so simple for some people.People like to mark their territory and don't like to share their space.They need to share the space equally and be respectful of each other. A shared bed should not be a challenge or a control issue. Changing positions throughout the night is dizzying.

  2. TV remotes should not be controlled by one individual. Why does oneperson control the volume? Why does the volume have to be on all night? Sleep is not meant to be in 1 hour installments. Why must someone sleepwiththe remote in hand allnight?

  3. I will never share a bed with a control freak again.

No TV in my bedroom.

Mr. Control Freak sounds like a loser. Just sayin'.

I was on POF and ZOOSK, I can't even get a woman to meet me for coffee. Oh yeah....a couple wanted to meet me that were like 105 years old.....and coming in at 375. Yeah,,,,,, I mean pounds!!! Chemistry is still important to me, I go to the gym 3 times a week.......I have to work my butt off to keep the weight off. I have enough left in me for ONE MORE hot romance....it may NOT happen, but I'm NOT ready to "turn off the lights' YET.......I want a woman I can look at!! ha ha. And so it is.

4

maybe my problem is i don't have a set of clear guidelines. i visualise laughs, easy affection. working together and cooking together.sex would have been a huge part of it in my 20's.taking off for a hike or daytrips.I do enough with my mind/head I don't think I need help with that.I would like someone a little more social than me but could stand being alone too

I knew a couple that used to wake each other up by farting on each other's faces!!! ooooooouuuuuu YYYYUUUUUCK!!!!!

4

Like any friendship, either one is supported by the other where needed/possible and each is comfortable talking about the things that matter to them.

4

All of these things later in life become the things you shared again when you are alone. I look back at these little things at 79 and isn't wonderful my relationship survived all these things and i am still lucky enough to have my family around me to share my old age with.

3

I'll let you know when/if I ever find out.

3

I had one. And yes, I had to put up with her farts (every morning, the walls of Jericho....good lord), and her likes and dislikes and a whole lot of other things. And so?

Every night, I could crawl under the covers, and snuggle up to her, and the world was all right. Until she slapped my face in her sleep, or kicked all the covers off because she was too warm.

But she put up with my snoring, and my love of mathematics (she hated math-she didn't even like calculators that much), and my half-crazed way of looking at the world. And we were a team. An awesome team. Intimacy and space, without it ever needing to be spoken about (although I told her I loved her every chance I got. People need that, I think).

Life is big AND small. We have to come to terms with that, you know?

I was on vacation for a few weeks-living witha significant other is a totallydifferent ballgame.

3

I think the way people sleep in bed... cuddling together or apart is a matter of prefference.

Personally I think the foundation of a strong relationship are communication, respect, compromise... as long as they love each other, it's ok.

I heard plenty of times people who break up because of moving for university or job. But really, that's not love... they clearly loved their career more than the partner. People are not willing to compromise or have loyalty for relationships anymore... it seems like it's increasingly more common to see relationships last only several months or 1-2 years rather than 10-20 years until one cheats. And even cheating... too many people forgive it. You can't cheat on someone you love... that shows no respect. I understand being drunk and kissing someone but if you are irresponsible enough to all out have sex then maybe you shouldn't get drunk in the first place. What else would you do, drunk driving? Being drunk is no excuse. Anyway I went off on a tangent.

Liviu Level 4 Mar 4, 2018
3

A caring, sharing relationship which leaves both with a sense of fulfillment.

3

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This will make relationships a little easier

3

i know what i like but im single so hardly an expert.

2

I'm not real big on the fart smelling thing...

@Akfishlady i missed out on the dutch oven thing

1

I live in the flat beloew my partner he has OCD and I have DID - we seem to be able to facilitate looking out for each other pretty well. I do the cooking, cleaning & shopping he does all the financial stuff that I am incapable of plus making appointments and all that side of things. It works for us. We eat together and have our own space as well.

1

Separate spaces.

Independent lives that come together for shared activities.

No pouting...if there is a problem, say so.

1

I used to want to get married again, and help raise somebody else's kids....get my family back. But that phase of my life has passed. I'm having enough problems just dealing my own mind......WTF!! It would be nice to have a nice woman come over and spend the night with me, go to a movie, do dinner.....twice a month....wow....that would be awesome. The older you get the harder it is to find anything going on with regards to "romance"....and "falling in love".......it's just too much just living from day to day. And really for anything to happen, you really have to be memorized by each other. Which ain't gonna happen, it's almost like serendipity. But if you are an athiest, then there are no Angels either.... ha ha. Sadly, at 65, a lot of people are being put in nursing homes....or just dying on me!! They are dropping like flies. It's called "getting old"!!! Occasionly, I will check out some bands that kick my ass. Don't drink too much anymore....don't go to bars.

1

Every couple needs a balance of togetherness and space. And it changes throughout life.

1

The only relationships that have been healthy for me, ie. a relationship in which I truly enjoy being with the other due to mutual support, etc., has been with a married woman. If I never find someone available that gives me the same thing, I'll be satisfied.

0

I agree sharing space with a special someone is most pleasing. In addition, intimate, close encounters of passionate affection (both giving and receiving) offer a degree of bliss not achievable by any other means but the paramount of any healthy relationship is mutual respect, openness, honesty and recognition of the partner's positive attribues, compatibility in likes/dislikes, priorities, aptitudes and expectations are also necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.

0

Compromise and respect are the backbone of a healthy relationship.

0

Someone who you know has your back. Trust, respect, communication. You love them for all they are, you can laugh with them and cry with them, support each other through good and bad, and inspire the best in each other. When you go to sleep at night, you think of them and smile with your whole being.

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