I believe you will be much happier once you start dating women

I can't imagine a world where people didn't share with me?
Men and women have done this my entire life because I'm a good listener. (Apparently).

There are few people who don't want to process what's going on in their lives.
I dare say it's what separates us from most animals. We dwell on where we've been and try to do better.

Some need to do it more than others.
Some avoid it like it is a terrible idea to process what they've experienced.

I'd much rather deal with the person who does think about it. They're less likely to sudden outbursts from pent up feelings. (ie they just aren't emotionally healthy).

I do think perhaps you are looking for someone of a certain "type". And that's not the type you're finding. I can't say I envy what you'd find in such a closed off person though?

And unless the person is processing really old stuff with you (ie they're dealing with old hurt and should be in therapy for it?) - this seems like normal behavior to me. (And I have referred friends to therapy btw). And yes hearing it 'again' can be draining - but who of us doesn't repeat ourselves?

I think listening is something we do out of love for someone else.

Just a minor note, thinking out loud and verbal diarrhea are not traits generally associated with introverts.

People are people and being emotionally stunted is not determined by gender. I guess at this point I would be asking myself.. "Why do I feel drawn to "emotionally stunted" men?

Nailed it.

It's a big part of why I'm done.
I just don't want to anymore.
It's simply too exhausting, and has become one of those zero-sum propositions.
It's more trouble than it's worth.

If I wasn't emotionally stunted, I'd take offense.

Sometimes people just want to vent. Perhaps you don't want a man that shares his feelings. Then I wonder if you would tolerate this kind of venting from your same sex friends. I think these are all important in understanding what you want.
Acceptance leads to happiness. So if you can't accept something for what it is you'll never be happy with it.

So this guy was going through some serious and very emotional shit and when he poured his heart out to you, his wife, his significant other, in his own long-winded and circular way, it bored the shit out of you? And now you're sick of listening, understanding, and generally giving a shit? And all because he was never taught or had any real experience voicing his emotions in a more succinct way? Yeah... I'm going to stop asking questions now, because I'm not convinced Terry was the issue in that relationship.

Sounds like the concersations I had with my ex same ones over and over and no matter what advice I gave her she still complained about teh same things

And the burden placed on men by emotionally stunted women is OK? Evidently you are attracted to these types of men. I run from those type of people male or female.

Everyone, and I mean everyone has some kind of bullshit about them that the other person has to either be okay with or, if they're not, end the relationship. Long lasting relationships are those where each person has learned to accept or cope with whatever personal peccadillos the other comes with.

But everyone comes with their own personal bullshit. There's no exceptions to that.

I think Terry just needs a night of dirty dirty sex with his lady friend

Very interesting article. The points on patriarchy and toxic masculinity remind me greatly of a Unitarian church service I recently attended (first time in over two years, but the topic seemed so interesting to me) on toxic masculinity with readings and a video by Bell Hooks. Both men and women lose from patriarchy and the video was about a prison group for men learning about these subjects and trying to change.

I think no one should not take for granted the time other people spend for you, no matter how. Talking, listening, caring, etc. It's a privilege, not a right. Life is too short and too precious to waste it with endless long versions, monologues going in circles. It's a lack of empathy.

I'm the kind of guy who can get just about anyone to spill their entire life story to me in only a few minutes of talking to them. All their hopes, dreams, insecurities, personal problems, etc. It happens in and outside of relationships. Some people are not very emotionally intelligent, and either don't know how to identify and convey their feelings, or don't know how to react to peoples emotions once they are presented. It takes a lot of hard work and effort to get yourself good at both of these things, and if someone is incapable of the introspection necessary to solve their own emotional problems then they may feel they need to talk to someone else. You could work on the second part to try and accelerate the process so they learn to solve their own problems.

I have never wanted to burden others with my problems and crises -- they have plenty of their own. I believe that we have to work through and process past pains and losses within ourselves. I agree with Mark Twain,s statement: "joy, in order to be real joy has to be shared. Misery can take care of itself."

As an emotionally-stunted man who has spent time with other emotionally stunted men, I applaud your patience.

A man should have some other form of venting than complaining.

It depends upon where you find the men you are attracted to there are emotionally stable men. It may be that you are not attracted to stable guys and want men who need fixing check your feelings there is a old saying when you lay with dogs don't be surprised when you get fleas

I think it all comes down to communication styles and how we're encouraged or discouraged as children to express ourselves. Boys and girls have often been socialized differently; hopefully that's changing and will continue to change moving forward.

When I was a minister, I saw this in a lot of marriages, where the husband has few friends and processes his thoughts ONLY with his wife. And it's exhausting for her. Often, it's a one-way arrangement where the wife doesn't get to talk over her feelings with him.

I'm glad you're in a better place and that you have someone who is mature.

"Selfishness. "Terry has always been selfish," his mother said. She was right." You should be asking yourself why you picked him. I am getting the impression that you think you are quite the catch.

When I was online dating I had a similar experience the number seem about right. for every 100 contacts there was a relationship of some substance, most prospects die on the vine or did not survive the first telephone conversation. don't get me wrong it's a valid way to meet people, as far as real emotional spiritual maturity that is rare if you find a man that can keep up with you intellectually he is a keeper but they will be few and far between and you may have to make some compromises good luck

I was married for 19 years... been 19 years divorced. Me and my EX still go dancing together when in same city. Still talk on the phone. She had remarried and divorced and she has a boyfriend now with plans of living together now that she just retired. I may had been a Cheater that Broke her Heart Twice by her account. But she is the Mother of my children. The only woman on earth that I ever called wife. And we dance better with each other now that we ever did while dating or marriage... That's Life! I am sure that she does wonders sometimes just like I do.... if she would had not found a Poem dedicated to another woman we will still be together Happily Ever After but Life is what Happens. I learned my lesson. She thought I was in love with that person... and I never wrote nothing that pretty for her. I just had the gift to write pretty. I still communicate with other women in my past. One told me once... "You are the Saddest Man on Earth... Fortunate for the world you love to be Sad and thrives in it writing beautiful things. I do will like one more Dance at Love but I set in my youth certain standards and I had never diverted from them. My biggest scare was ending with the wrong woman... I am convinced now that it will never happen... I consider myself lucky that never met a Bad Woman. And one day she will walk or dance into my life and she will whisper "I thought I never find you"... my response will be very honest... "I am sorry that instead of looking for you, I waited for you". Happy Mothers Day to All the Ladies in My Life... Past and Future. There are Men that Gets it... Lucky You and Congrats if you found one!!!

Happy Mother's Day