my daughter gets married soon and its in a church. I've made it a policy not to enter religious buildings as I don't believe and I'm not a hypocrite.
she's ok with it but her fiance's family are making life difficult. I will not go into a church.. therefore the question.
am I being a bit silly?
Simple answer , go support your daughter, and her soon to be husband. Family is important, labels , and the separation they bring are irrelevant., and Ego based. Ego thrives on conflict, and misery because it’s false. If you have a good relationship with your daughter nothing should stand in the way of that.
It's just a building. Don't give religion that kind of power in your life. There was a time when I would've been right there with you on that belief/ideal, but as I have evolved further and further away from the religious teachings that were driven into my head when I was young, I have given less and less credence to any bit of symbolisim that their images, rituals, and landmarks were supposed to represent. It's your daughter that matters here, not a faith or lack thereof. It's her happiness, her future. And unfortunately, her soon to be in-laws will have a stake in that too.
I think you would very much miss not being there and sharing in her joy.
Religious buildings are often a marvel of human creativity and I don't see why you shouldn't enjoy that.
I don't think it would be hypocritical. You are there for an event, to celebrate the new life that is about to begin.
It is not hypocrisy for an atheist to enter any building. That is, after all, what it is. A building. You do not need to participate in their bullshit. Just be respectful, resist laughing, and wait till the services are over. Then exit the building, exhale, and once you're out of the parking lot, laugh your ass off. Simple, and you don't miss your daughter's wedding -- that's the important part.
To be fair, I only go to churches/chapels if there is a wedding or funeral too so... To be honest going to a church/chapel is no real big deal, if your "faith" in your beliefs is that strong it doesn't matter if it's a city hall, church, synagogue or even a beach, you will be there to support your daughter and that's the main thing. Speaking from someone whom lost a father at 18, any support at any kind of milestone is GREATLY more important than anything else. What I don't like is the in-laws weighing in. A guilt-trip won't help, it'll hinder. Gotta love "good" Christians, eh? You should go and prove that you don't need religion to be a good person, as Mrs Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Are you going to let some people whom spend an hour a week speaking and demanding wishes from an imaginary friend make us look bad? Do what you want now, but when your daughter looks back at her life and sees you supporting her even against your own wishes/beliefs... Well, that can give her a right and royal boost
Sure! I have been in many churches, different kinds of churches, for all kinds of reasons. It has never affected my Atheism in the least because they have no proof of their imaginary god(s). And besides, whether your are religious or not should be your decision.
It's your daughter's day. And it's her fiance's official entry into the family. I think you'll have to decide for yourself whether it's more important to remain true to your ideology or to be present for your family. Or maybe there's a creative solution that would allow you to participate in some way but not enter the church. Ultimately, the decision rests your shoulders. Good luck in your discernment.
Are you saying your no-religious-buildings policy is more important than being there for your daughter? Really?
I know of religious people who didn't attend their child's wedding because of their own messed-up religious beliefs. Don't be like that.
Support your daughter - that's what is important here. People matter more than religion.
Yeah, you are being a bit silly. It's just a building, it holds no magic power. Just like you don't need to believe you live in the distant past to go with your friends to medieval times. You don't need to be a believer in zombie Jesus to be inside a church.
If you like the people enough then why not? You don't have to pray or sing though if it's Catholic and they all kneel and you remain standing you might look like a right prune so you might have to kneel lol
No need to upset other people for no reason. I know some really nice Christians actually and I don't hold it against them. If they are your friends then why upset them? They must already know you , right?
Yes you are being a bit silly, but let me explain. We need to live with people who are religious. They are religious and follow, often, strict principles. Why would you want to have strict principles also? Who cares because it is only a building? I would enjoy meeting people and having fun. You did not convert to atheism, it is not a religion where you have to prove anything. I think you are carrying religious baggage. Let it go and be thankful you are not taken in by religious superstition.
if it were me and no one knew before hand except those who needed to...I would go. it's not as if I would have to wear a HI MY NAME IS: with ATHEIST underneath my name. you can still bow your head and stand up and be respectful. it's also not like they have a who isn't following along radar
I go into churches only for weddings or funerals (or for my grand baby’s recital). My non-theism is mine, not theirs. I do not attend services at all.
I don’t believe it’s hypocricy to enter worship houses. You are not pretending to be something you are not.
I think in this example you are being selfish, not silly. This is her day. My daughter got married at the court, but I would have gone into a church for it.