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Should I attend a wedding at church as an atheist?

my daughter gets married soon and its in a church. I've made it a policy not to enter religious buildings as I don't believe and I'm not a hypocrite.
she's ok with it but her fiance's family are making life difficult. I will not go into a church.. therefore the question.
am I being a bit silly?

By dragon4104
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Simple answer , go support your daughter, and her soon to be husband. Family is important, labels , and the separation they bring are irrelevant., and Ego based. Ego thrives on conflict, and misery because it’s false. If you have a good relationship with your daughter nothing should stand in the way of that.

Outsideit67 Level 2 Nov 18, 2017
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It's just a building. Don't give religion that kind of power in your life. There was a time when I would've been right there with you on that belief/ideal, but as I have evolved further and further away from the religious teachings that were driven into my head when I was young, I have given less and less credence to any bit of symbolisim that their images, rituals, and landmarks were supposed to represent. It's your daughter that matters here, not a faith or lack thereof. It's her happiness, her future. And unfortunately, her soon to be in-laws will have a stake in that too.

Christian Level 1 Nov 18, 2017
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Thank you all for your advice and comments, a meeting was had and a concensus was reached. it was decided that I would not enter the building but that I would wait outside. works for me and no-one will be upset.

dragon4104 Level 3 Nov 18, 2017
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Great that a solution was agreed upon.

So.. here's to enjoying the reception, yes?

yes indeed..here's to plenty of liquid refreshment
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I think you would very much miss not being there and sharing in her joy.

Religious buildings are often a marvel of human creativity and I don't see why you shouldn't enjoy that.

I don't think it would be hypocritical. You are there for an event, to celebrate the new life that is about to begin.

DeeTee Level 5 Nov 18, 2017
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I think if you went it would be because you are celebrating the union of two people regardless of their or your own religious beliefs. In other words. I would go so they know that I also celebrate the union of two lovely people.

ashien1965 Level 3 Nov 17, 2017
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It is not hypocrisy for an atheist to enter any building. That is, after all, what it is. A building. You do not need to participate in their bullshit. Just be respectful, resist laughing, and wait till the services are over. Then exit the building, exhale, and once you're out of the parking lot, laugh your ass off. Simple, and you don't miss your daughter's wedding -- that's the important part.

evidentialist Level 5 Nov 17, 2017
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Of course not; as an Atheist, upon entering the church, you'll burst into flames !

Freebean Level 2 Nov 17, 2017
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thats what I thought... flame retardent underwear it is then

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To be fair, I only go to churches/chapels if there is a wedding or funeral too so... To be honest going to a church/chapel is no real big deal, if your "faith" in your beliefs is that strong it doesn't matter if it's a city hall, church, synagogue or even a beach, you will be there to support your daughter and that's the main thing. Speaking from someone whom lost a father at 18, any support at any kind of milestone is GREATLY more important than anything else. What I don't like is the in-laws weighing in. A guilt-trip won't help, it'll hinder. Gotta love "good" Christians, eh? You should go and prove that you don't need religion to be a good person, as Mrs Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Are you going to let some people whom spend an hour a week speaking and demanding wishes from an imaginary friend make us look bad? Do what you want now, but when your daughter looks back at her life and sees you supporting her even against your own wishes/beliefs... Well, that can give her a right and royal boost

Oonagh Level 1 Nov 17, 2017
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Go to your daughter wedding. This isent about a belief in a god. This is about a major event in your daughter life and I'm assuming she would like you to be there.

Sandro75 Level 1 Nov 17, 2017
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Sure! I have been in many churches, different kinds of churches, for all kinds of reasons. It has never affected my Atheism in the least because they have no proof of their imaginary god(s). And besides, whether your are religious or not should be your decision.

Reignmond Level 2 Nov 17, 2017
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Yes and no.
Short answer is you are being silly. Your one man protest is selfish in this occasion.
Long answer. Well it's to long but I understand your unwillingness to compromise on your beliefs and values. It's a good conversation

daniellaws Level 3 Nov 17, 2017
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indeed it was and I decided not to go in... I will be there for the rest but not that.. the other side saw my point and conceded that it would be better this way.
Well if she understands then it's cool.
I just like to look at the bigger picture and from her side as it's her day.
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It's your daughter's day. And it's her fiance's official entry into the family. I think you'll have to decide for yourself whether it's more important to remain true to your ideology or to be present for your family. Or maybe there's a creative solution that would allow you to participate in some way but not enter the church. Ultimately, the decision rests your shoulders. Good luck in your discernment.

resserts Level 5 Nov 17, 2017
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You are showing support to your friend not worshiping a god. I go to weddings and baptisms and funerals at churches and synagogues all the time to show respect and support to my friends and family.

noworry28 Level 3 Nov 16, 2017
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Are you saying your no-religious-buildings policy is more important than being there for your daughter? Really?

I know of religious people who didn't attend their child's wedding because of their own messed-up religious beliefs. Don't be like that.

Support your daughter - that's what is important here. People matter more than religion.

Introverted Level 5 Nov 16, 2017
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Yeah, you are being a bit silly. It's just a building, it holds no magic power. Just like you don't need to believe you live in the distant past to go with your friends to medieval times. You don't need to be a believer in zombie Jesus to be inside a church.

invictus0x0 Level 3 Nov 15, 2017
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I made the idiot mistake of " not turning up to the baptism " and paid a heavy price . folded like a pack of cards on the second grandkid. Neither of mine were annointed !

markdevenish Level 5 Nov 15, 2017
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if it leads to a great party ....why not ??

markdevenish Level 5 Nov 15, 2017
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If you like the people enough then why not? You don't have to pray or sing though if it's Catholic and they all kneel and you remain standing you might look like a right prune so you might have to kneel lol
No need to upset other people for no reason. I know some really nice Christians actually and I don't hold it against them. If they are your friends then why upset them? They must already know you , right?

OutlawJosie Level 4 Nov 15, 2017
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Oh man, that kneeling thing was kinda weird. saw that for the first time at a memorial service. I just remained seated and stared with a bit of amazement.
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you should , to share in here hapiness

iceberg24 Level 1 Nov 15, 2017
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It's your daughter's wedding. You don't have to believe in her god to support her marriage. It's a very important day for her; support her!

unc66 Level 1 Nov 15, 2017
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Yes you are being a bit silly, but let me explain. We need to live with people who are religious. They are religious and follow, often, strict principles. Why would you want to have strict principles also? Who cares because it is only a building? I would enjoy meeting people and having fun. You did not convert to atheism, it is not a religion where you have to prove anything. I think you are carrying religious baggage. Let it go and be thankful you are not taken in by religious superstition.

testingchemist Level 1 Nov 14, 2017
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if it were me and no one knew before hand except those who needed to...I would go. it's not as if I would have to wear a HI MY NAME IS: with ATHEIST underneath my name. you can still bow your head and stand up and be respectful. it's also not like they have a who isn't following along radar

Pfr1998 Level 3 Nov 14, 2017
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Of course. You are there to honor the couple being married. Now when they get a divorce, you should also go the the church for that ceremony.

JoeDime22 Level 4 Nov 14, 2017
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Why not? You don't attend "for the religion" but to share your friends' happiness.

DUCHESSA Level 4 Nov 14, 2017
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I go into churches only for weddings or funerals (or for my grand baby’s recital). My non-theism is mine, not theirs. I do not attend services at all.

I don’t believe it’s hypocricy to enter worship houses. You are not pretending to be something you are not.

I think in this example you are being selfish, not silly. This is her day. My daughter got married at the court, but I would have gone into a church for it.

Annalida Level 5 Nov 14, 2017
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