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Should I attend a wedding at church as an atheist?

my daughter gets married soon and its in a church. I've made it a policy not to enter religious buildings as I don't believe and I'm not a hypocrite. she's ok with it but her fiance's family are making life difficult. I will not go into a church.. therefore the question. am I being a bit silly?

By dragon4104
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21

Go to your daughter wedding. This isent about a belief in a god. This is about a major event in your daughter life and I'm assuming she would like you to be there.

Sandro75 Level 2 Nov 17, 2017
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12

I visit churches for weddings, funerals, and as a tourist. And when you think about it, I'm kind of a tourist when I'm at the weddings and funerals as well, observing the customs of an alien culture from the viewpoint of my own much different one. I don't participate, I just observe.


Well, I have to take that back--I did once participate in a Catholic funeral. It was my father-in-law's, and he had requested that everyone in the family be involved in it. I could have been dogmatic and refused (and thereby alienated all of my wife's family), but I realized that my father-in-law was a real iconoclast, and that was the reason he wanted me included. He knew better than to force anything on me. Appropriately enough, I was given the wine to take up for the communion. My brother-in-law had the wafers, and on our stroll up to the altar, he mumbled over at me, "Don't drink it all, Cuz." After the ceremony was over, the look on the priest's face when he learned I was an atheist was worth the whole experience.


The important thing, though, is that I was able to honor my father-in-law and stay on good terms with my in-laws while they knew full well that it did not affect my status as a nonbeliever one iota.

BikerDude50 Level 5 Nov 14, 2017
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NIcely put. (Sometimes I think Im a tourist in my home town)

10

I could definitely put my ass in a pew for my own daughter's wedding.
Frankly, I can't believe you're going to pass on giving the bride away.


I get it that you don't want to enter a church, but this is a huge day for her and you can suspend your disbelief for her I think. At least for just a little while.

Paul628 Level 7 Nov 14, 2017
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10

To me, a church is just a building.
What they talk about in there is akin to playing make-believe on a mass scale.


But-
You'd be there for your daughter and her union. It's a big day for her.
I wouldn't like it- but I'd bite the bullet.

silvereyes Level 8 Nov 14, 2017
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7

Yes you are being a bit silly, but let me explain. We need to live with people who are religious. They are religious and follow, often, strict principles. Why would you want to have strict principles also? Who cares because it is only a building? I would enjoy meeting people and having fun. You did not convert to atheism, it is not a religion where you have to prove anything. I think you are carrying religious baggage. Let it go and be thankful you are not taken in by religious superstition.

testingchemist Level 2 Nov 14, 2017
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So much yes.

At least as an agnostic you can say I am not sure. As an atheist? Well it might be a surprise to recognise that a lot of the world carries quite delusional beliefs.

Allah's tropes, the Jewish cannon, animist and pagan belief?

Have you heard the good news? You don't have to challenge their beliefs!

7

I'll enter churches for weddings and sometimes for funerals. A church is just a building. By going in I an not supporting the religion but paying respects to the people in the wedding or funeral. Granted I am bored silly by the religious stuff, but I don't join in prayers or even sing hymns and I definitely don't give them money.


To totally avoid churches, you are still lettign churches and religions manipulate/influence your life and how you behave. To act like it matters means they have some power over you and your life. I suggest you act like it doesn't matter to you at all one way or the other. It would be a qay to live your life and feel a lot more freedom.

snytiger6 Level 7 Nov 14, 2017
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6

you are honoring the people you care for, not the church.

wordywalt Level 7 Nov 14, 2017
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5

This is about your daughter, not about you and your non-beliefs. No one is going to go up in flames if you enter a church.


Put aside your prejudice (and yes it's a prejudice if you are contemplating on not going to your own daughter's wedding because of your opinion), and go. I'm pretty sure you'll regret it if you don't.

kiramea Level 6 Dec 23, 2017
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4

It's just a structure! A building. I would celebrate with my daughter.

AmiSue Level 5 Dec 23, 2017
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4

Of course you should. This is your daughter's wedding. It's not about you. You don't have to pray or join in with any religious element of the service. Visiting a church doesn't make you a hypocrite, but boycotting your daughter's wedding because you don't like her choices would be devastating for her.
I don't know where you are based, but most churches over here in the UK are awesome buildings and worth a visit just to see the craftsmanship that went into them and to learn a bit of history about the area.
Make your daughter's day complete - it's what dad's need to do sometimes.
You know it makes sense! smile001.gif

Uncorrugated Level 5 Dec 21, 2017
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4

yes, its only a building. you won't get me in one for any reason other than a wedding or funeral. there is a time and a place to make a stand, your daughters wedding is not one of them. I went a couple years ago to a friend wedding, I did not burst into flames, you should be fine, just don't let them throw holy water on you. lol.

MichaelSpinler Level 7 Dec 19, 2017
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3

As an Atheist, or as your daughter's father? You can go, respecting your daughter's wishes without compromising your own values. You are being a bit silly with not going into religious buildings, as you should be comfortable enough in your own beliefs that simply entering a building will not affect them.

Rabbidimus Level 3 Dec 22, 2017
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What difference does the building it takes place in make...unless you are giving it some kind of mystical power? If you want to see the couple married, attend. If it was in an American Legion Hall and you were a communist, what would you do?

AnneWimsey Level 6 Dec 22, 2017
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3

You must go, it's your daughter, do it for no other reason.

gleanerman Level 2 Dec 20, 2017
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3

Going to religious events at churches does not make you a hypocrite. I'm a hardcore atheist, but I would say if you refuse to do things such as this, you are worse than the religious. I think atheists should make their position known, but still participate if necessary. Going to church for you is a way of showing support for loved ones, especially if your position is known. What I'm saying is.....be the bigger person!

mbergwell Level 4 Dec 20, 2017
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3

Yes, you are being silly. Think of the church as just another building. It is one of the most important days in your daughter's life and she will always remember that day and you being there for her. If you sit it out you don't get a mulligan.You don't have to participate in the service or bow down to some golden idol or huge cross. It's your daughter, for Christ sake.. LOL

Specman Level 5 Dec 20, 2017
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3

Oh definitely. I think we should all be tolerant of other peoples beliefs. I think refusing to enter a church is kind of like if a Christian refuses to make a gay couple a cake. I don't believe stepping into a church is not being true to what you believe. You have a life which included people of all faiths, religions, colors, and cultures we should embrace the fact that we are different and celebrate in different ways and that is ok even if we don't agree. Life is short and that is your daughter which should mean more than any stance against religion because her special day is bigger than that. Nothing could keep me from something that meant that much to my child because at the end of the day my son is my world.

etruji29 Level 5 Dec 20, 2017
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3

Yeah, you are being a bit silly. It's just a building, it holds no magic power. Just like you don't need to believe you live in the distant past to go with your friends to medieval times. You don't need to be a believer in zombie Jesus to be inside a church.

invictus0x0 Level 3 Nov 15, 2017
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2

Being an ass just makes you one of "them". Go....feel free to pretend, they do.

Waco2017 Level 4 Dec 25, 2017
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2

I think you are being silly. I don't believe in magic but it doesn't stop me going to Disneyland.

9gello Level 3 Dec 24, 2017
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2

Thank you all for your advice and comments, a meeting was had and a concensus was reached. it was decided that I would not enter the building but that I would wait outside. works for me and no-one will be upset.

dragon4104 Level 4 Nov 18, 2017
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Great that a solution was agreed upon.

So.. here's to enjoying the reception, yes?

yes indeed..here's to plenty of liquid refreshment

2

Are you saying your no-religious-buildings policy is more important than being there for your daughter? Really?


I know of religious people who didn't attend their child's wedding because of their own messed-up religious beliefs. Don't be like that.


Support your daughter - that's what is important here. People matter more than religion.

Introverted Level 5 Nov 16, 2017
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2

If you like the people enough then why not? You don't have to pray or sing though if it's Catholic and they all kneel and you remain standing you might look like a right prune so you might have to kneel lol
No need to upset other people for no reason. I know some really nice Christians actually and I don't hold it against them. If they are your friends then why upset them? They must already know you , right?

OutlawJosie Level 5 Nov 15, 2017
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Oh man, that kneeling thing was kinda weird. saw that for the first time at a memorial service. I just remained seated and stared with a bit of amazement.

2

It's your daughter's wedding. You don't have to believe in her god to support her marriage. It's a very important day for her; support her!

unc66 Level 1 Nov 15, 2017
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2

I go into churches only for weddings or funerals (or for my grand baby’s recital). My non-theism is mine, not theirs. I do not attend services at all.


I don’t believe it’s hypocricy to enter worship houses. You are not pretending to be something you are not.


I think in this example you are being selfish, not silly. This is her day. My daughter got married at the court, but I would have gone into a church for it.

Annaleda Level 7 Nov 14, 2017
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