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Should I attend a wedding at church as an atheist?

my daughter gets married soon and its in a church. i've made it a policy not to enter religious buildings as i don't believe and i'm not a hypocrite.
she's ok with it but her fiance's family are making life difficult. i will not go into a church.. therefore the question.
am i being a bit silly?

dragon4104 4 Nov 14
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197 comments (76 - 100)

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2

Yes, you should attend. Going into a church doesn't make you a hypocrite any more than walking into a garage makes you a car.

2

You would be there to honor the couple, not pray to god. Go and have fun.

godef Level 7 Dec 23, 2017
2

Why refuse to go into a church? If you’re truly atheistic, then it’s just another building.

2

As long as you don't think you will catch on fire just from entering, Go ahead. You are there for your friends or family, not for their imaginary friend

2

If you love your daughter, you should attend. From personal experience, I can attest that the building won't collapse on you.

2

Go to your daughters wedding. Make an exception.
It has nothing to do with religion. It has to do with loving her, you can never get the day back.
( If you have to make a point buy small Atheist pin and wear it)

2

I've attended many different services of a wide variety of religions and have find it fascinating. I've never been made to feel unwelcome or out of place.

So, as long as heretics are not being tested or struck by divine lightening in the sancuary, I'd be good to go! I see no moral or ethical conflict with allowing others their beliefs.

2

As a parent we should make sure our kids are happy and loved. Go to the church for her . I have a fear of churches myself that I will bursts into flames.

2

Yes, you should celebrate you friends and family and their life events. If you were religious, and a friend was getting married in a different denomination or even a different religion, do you think you should go even if you don't believe in their beliefs?

i've gone one better. I am a licensed Notary Public, and read that getting ordination is a great way to add a service. So, I am ordained, and will perform your wedding for you (I have done two so far, for friends). I say the words they want, I sign the paperwork, and they are legally married.

It's a fun way to show your support. And since many religious people won't perform SSM, being willing and able to do so is important (I haven't performed one yet, but I was a witness to a friend's civil union years ago.)

Ozman Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
1

Yes, the wedding is really about the couple getting married. Just being in a church does not compromise your belief system.

1

Sounds like you may be giving the church too much power.

1

As long as you stand up and announce that you are an atheist you should be okay... Just kidding. I don't see how entering a particular building can cause you to be hypocritical. Your thoughts are your own no matter where you go.

1

Speaking as a daughter and an atheist, you should go. You will definitely regret it if you don't and not too sound mean (or trollish), the fact that you're asking means that you know you probably should.

I've been to churches since I've removed the blindfold of religion and it doesn't bother me. It doesn't make me a hypocrite and I don't lie if it comes up. And yes, I've told ministers that I am an atheist. None of them ever batted an eyelid either.

The first time I went into a church as an atheist, I expected the walls to start dripping with blood LOL Seriously though, just go and enjoy her big day. She'll love you even more knowing that you made an exception to 'no church' just for her. ??

1

Support your daughter. This is her day. You love her then you will forego your conscience for one day.

1

You would be there to witness the joining of two people who are going to promise to love honour and worship. OK its held in a building that happens to be religious. Don't worry you won't be struck down by lightening, besides you might enjoy your daughters wedding.

1

You don't attend a wedding to assert your beliefs or lack thereof with respect to the deity of that particular building, you're there to share in the couple's happy moment of getting joined. Going into that building isn't conceding that you think their god delusion has any merit, and doesn't make you a hypocrite. The actual marriage license doesn't specify any kind of deity, but it does have the name of the state on it.

If you want to toe a line with respect to religious rituals, you could do what I do and just refuse to do things like recite prayers, close your eyes, or bow your head while in attendance. But there's no good reason to miss out on your daughter's happy day over this - her getting married isn't about religion, it's about her declaring her intent to spend (hopefully) the rest of her life with the person that is making her happy.

1

I used to feel very uncomfortable at churches; maybe for similar reasons. Now I maintain an objective distance & observe them like an anthropologist might attend a tribal ceremony in Africa or where ever. They probably don't adhere to any of the participants' beliefs. It helps if you read up on religion a bit. It also helps if your relatives are really religious nuts like my in laws who think the end of the world is nigh.

Carin Level 8 June 6, 2018
1

Attend your daughter's wedding. A church is brick and mortar, just a building.
A wedding is special to all who attend. Please don't miss the celebration because of principle.

1

Are you there to "worship" or support your friend?

1

Please don't miss your daughter's wedding because it's happening in a church. A church is just a store where they sell something they can't prove exists. You won't be forced to buy anything, but you'll regret not being a part of this super important moment in your daughter's life, and it could taint your relationship with her forever. Your policy is not worth that.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 4, 2018
1

Sure! Go, go! I've found that keeping one's beliefs or disbeliefs private is just as easy as keeping one's sex life private. Why should it be an issue?

1

I think you ought to make an exception since it is your daughter's wedding. Going into a church doesn't make you a hypocrite. You are not changing your beliefs, you are just going into a building to witness and share in an event of a loved one. I'm not sure how you would consider yourself a hypocrite by going into a religious building.

1

Sure ... as long as your skin doesnt start to burn as the church's shadow falls across your skin.

1

It would be a great wedding present for your daughter to to her wedding. I think marriage of a child should be an exception.

1

All my relatives are strict RC and I am an atheist but that doesn't keep me from going into a church or temple to look and learn and broaden my horizon.

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